Table of Contents
Prologue: The Beginning xi
Summer
Chapter 1 Bellying Up to the Dance Bar 3
Chapter 2 Stranger of the Bride 8
Chapter 3 The Princess and the Pee 14
Chapter 4 Of Bunnies and Batteries 20
Chapter 5 Pizza Pie in the Sky 25
Chapter 6 Church Hopping 30
Chapter 7 I Will Survive 35
Chapter 8 Creepy Crawlers 39
Chapter 9 You're Getting Very Sleepy 43
Chapter 10 If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right 50
Chapter 11 The Woes of Waxing, Not So Poetic 54
Chapter 12 Just Shoot Me 59
Chapter 13 Hair Today-Gone Tomorrow 61
Chapter 14 Out on the Street 66
Fall
Chapter 15 A Match Made in Hell 75
Chapter 16 From Meetless to Meatless 82
Chapter 17 Riding Shotgun 87
Chapter 18 A Coulda-Been or a Wannabe 95
Chapter 19 Revolver 100
Chapter 20 Get Thee to a Nunnery 105
Chapter 21 Old Folks and New Friends 111
Chapter 22 Zip-a-Dee-Do-Dah 116
Chapter 23 Rocking It as a College Mascot 125
Chapter 24 Much a Doo-Doo About Nothing 129
Chapter 25 Honk If You Pretend to Like Mimes 131
Chapter 26 Baring It at the Beach 135
Chapter 27 Dining in the Dark 141
Winter
Chapter 28 I'm Just a Singer (in a Rock and Roll Band) 149
Chapter 29 You Can Ring My Bell 163
Chapter 30 Crying over Spilled Paint 167
Chapter 31 Unplugged and Amish 172
Chapter 32 Frozen 181
Chapter 33 Turn Me On 185
Chapter 34 It's All Happening at the Zoo 188
Chapter 35 Let It Roll 195
Chapter 36 Tiptoe through the Tulips with Me 200
Chapter 37 Stranger Things Have Happened 206
Chapter 38 We All Float Down Here 211
Chapter 39 Pajama Party of One 217
Spring
Chapter 40 A Sitting Duck 223
Chapter 41 On the Ropes 230
Chapter 42 Catching a Flight to Nowhere 237
Chapter 43 An Italian/Irish/Ger man/French
Woman Walks into a Bar 246
Chapter 44 Going in Circles 250
Chapter 45 Coming Full Circle 256
Chapter 46 My Big Fat Greek Party 262
Chapter 47 A Segway into Catastrophe 266
Chapter 48 Running for My Life 274
Chapter 49 I Do Believe in Spooks 283
Summer
Chapter 50 Catching the Buzz 293
Chapter 51 Speed-Dating: Solo-Style 297
Chapter 52 Up, Up, and Await 306
Epilogue: The End-And a New Beginning 315
Acknowledgments 319