For This We Left Egypt?: A Passover Haggadah for Jews and Those Who Love Them

by Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, Adam Mansbach

Overview

The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. If you’ve ever suffered through a Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many handwashings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that’s responsible for this interminable tradition.

With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors will be take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone.

So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don’t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250110213
Publisher:	Flatiron Books
Publication date:	03/07/2017
Pages:	144
Sales rank:	290,035
Product dimensions:	4.90(w) x 6.70(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor writer whose columns and essays have appeared in hundreds of newspapers over the past thirty-five years. He has also written a number of New York Times bestselling humor books, including Dave Barry's Bad Habits and Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex.

Hometown:

Miami, Florida

Date of Birth:

July 3, 1947

Place of Birth:

Armonk, New York

Education:

B.A. in English, Haverford College, 1969

Website:

http://www.davebarry.com

Table of Contents

Introduction

A Note to Parents

A Note to Grandparents

A Note to Episcopalians

Preparing for the Seder

Discussion Questions for "Preparing for the Seder"

The Seder Plate

The Seder Checklist

We Light the Candles

The Seder Has a Special Order

The First Cup of Wine

We Wash Our Hands

We Break the Middle Matzah

The Four Children

Discussion Questions for "The Four Children"

The Passover Story

Discussion Questions for "The Passover Story"

The Ten Plagues

Discussion Questions for "The Ten Plagues"

Crossing the Sea

The Story of Passover: Deleted Scenes

Wandering in the Desert and/or Wilderness

Manna from Heaven

The Ten Commandments

The Golden Calf

Discussion Questions for "The Golden Calf"

The Promised Land

The Passover Symbols

We Say the Blessing for Maror

We Eat a Sandwich of Matzah and Maror

Dayenu

We Eat the Festive Meal

The Third Cup

Waiting for Elijah

Discussion Questions for "Waiting for Elijah"

Echad Mi Yodea

Chad Gadya

We Complete the Seder

Editorial Reviews

Three comic writers have some fun with Passover. Seders may never be the same.” —USA Today

“A full-fledged comic assault on Passover… Finally, someone has created a full Haggadah that is not only fun to read, but isn’t covered in wine stains… For This We Left Egypt? runs riot with the Haggadah and takes readers from the sophomoric to the sublimely funny.” —The Forward

“Three well-known humorists have written a Haggadah for an overlooked crowd: the wiseguys, cutups, and punsters who frankly have a hard time taking the whole thing seriously.” —Jewish Telegraph Agency

“[Barry, Zweibel, and Mansbach] have joined forces to come up with the perfect humoristic antidote to this Passover ritual… [For This We Left Egypt?] is a loudly humorous, acerbic parody of the haggadah, as it dissects every aspect of the Passover holiday… All in all, a new Passover tradition can be established with For This We Left Egypt?” —Montreal Times

“A must-have for those who collect haggadot or for anyone who loves a laugh. If you’re looking to lighten up your seder, you might read a page or two from it. Just be careful, though: people might refuse to turn back to the traditional text.” —The Reporter

“[For This We Left Egypt?] brings a fair measure of levity to a holiday when leavening is banned. The book is both reverential and irreverent.” —New York Jewish Week

“A hilarious take on Passover.” —Long Island Pulse

From the Publisher