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SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 12TH
I arrived at the colich yesterday. Night had fallen by the time I finally found it. I admit: I’m a hopeless driver, especially on unfamiliar roads. I made my first mistake at the detour on the highway. I had to turn around and start again. Then I passed through a pine forest on a dirt road. I drove slowly, uncertainly. I turned on the high beams, blinding a few rabbits. I heard the cry of a bird, but I don’t know which kind.
I reached the road’s end at last, hungry and confused.
My sense of disorientation was met head on by total darkness. Apparently, everyone here goes to bed very early. The silhouettes of stone buildings stood out among the shadows. Not as large as I expected, but ornate and pretentious, like from another time.
A woman in an apron met me at the gate, her head bowed. She seemed to be expecting me because she didn’t ask my name or reason for being there. She simply murmured follow me and led me to my room in a stone dormitory on the left side of the property.
The room is spare but comfortable. A double bed, mounted TV, desk with a swivel chair and prints of contemporary art on the wall. I tried the internet connection and it seemed to work fine. I thought about taking a shower, but I didn’t know where it was and the woman in the apron had disappeared without giving me any instructions. I hung my clothes in the closet and got into bed, still dressed and without having eaten dinner.
I fell fast asleep, unusual for me.
I had a strange dream I can’t quite remember today, but it kept me entertained all night long.
I was woken up this morning by the ringing of a telephone which sits on the nightstand and which I hadn’t noticed yesterday. A cordial female voice summons me to a meeting in one hour. A welcome meeting, she specifies. I look at the clock. It’s only 8 AM, and Sunday, too. The sun has barely risen. Through the window, I can see a well-tended garden with tall hedges, vestiges of the night’s fog.
I realize I will have to adapt to a different schedule.
I’ve peeked into the hallway and seen other doors like mine, but none appear to be to a bathroom. I don’t know where to wash up, do my business. I’ve been forced to urinate in a plastic bottle, which I’ve stashed behind the nightstand. I’ve wiped the sleep from my eyes with a tissue and now I’m waiting for the meeting, as I write.
I’ll know more soon.
I met Señor J. and still don’t know what to make of him. The headmaster of the colich looks more like a shareholder than a head of school. It’s hard to explain, but it has something to do with the air he has of a self-satisfied businessman, not someone responsible for educating the young. A smug, relaxed man, pleasant expression, deep, confident voice, a graying goatee he strokes now and then.
He gives me a kind, or mocking, look from behind round glasses. He shakes my hand and welcomes me enthusiastically. Suddenly, I am put at ease.
The assistant headmaster is also in the meeting. Skinny and pale with dark circles under his eyes, he’s submissive to Señor J., eager to please. There’s no firm handshake with him, just a limp and noncommittal grasp. He smiles broadly, showing long, yellowed teeth. He’s friendly, but it’s an awkward friendliness: fixed gaze, stiff expression. I couldn’t say whether he liked me or not.
The conversation is brief. I have the impression they both think I already know all the details about the school, or maybe they don’t want to bore me with superfluous explanations early on. They limit themselves to giving precise instructions. The assistant headmaster gives me a folder with my student files, the notebook of the teacher I’m substituting, a copy of my contract, and a memory stick.
“You start tomorrow,” he adds.
I dare to ask what happened to the teacher on leave. I need to calculate how much time I’ll be able to work here, but I don’t want to seem rude, so I murmur the question. The assistant headmaster makes a slight, evasive gesture with his hand; I’m not even sure he’s heard me.
Things being what they are, I don’t press.
Then Señor J. opens one of the large windows, offers me a cigar (which I turn down) and smokes slowly, standing and leaning against the wall. I’m obviously being studied, but this examination doesn’t feel intimidating.
I would have happily said yes to a coffee. The sun is fully up and I still haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon. I worry that my stomach might be growling. I also think about my bad breath and whether or not they’ve noticed it.
What should I do? Ask where you can get breakfast around here, what you have to do to take a shower and brush your teeth?
What I finally do is stand up, say thank you and goodbye, and leave, closing the door behind me. I have the urge to press my ear against the door. Do they discuss me? Or is a new teacher on board just another part of the routine?
I return to my room and set all the material I’ve gotten in its place. Then I wait, not knowing what for. I wait a good long while. I don’t keep track of the time. Maybe an hour, maybe two.
I write.
My hunger pangs grow stronger, the colich fills with sounds. I still haven’t eaten. Fortunately, there are more plastic cups in my room. I pee in another and hide it with the first, which has already started to smell.
Through the window I see several students heading out to play sports. Impeccable, tidy boys bursting with health, running on the fields with their shiny hair, cheering each other on. Farther away, I make out a group of girls with a huge, cinnamon-colored dog. I can’t see anything else, given the distance and my nearsightedness.
At the moment, I feel cut-off. Cut-off and sad.