Good Advice For Bad People: a Dear Cthulhu collection

by Patrick Thomas

Overview

Cthulhu Grants his wisdom & Advice to All!

The second collection of the dark, twisted, and funny Dear Chtulhu columns where everyone's favorite monster proves he truly does give good advice for bad people!

Dear Cthulhu,

I have a job and a boss that I hate. The slime bag treated me like crap, so I took my revenge by peeing in his coffee pot every morning. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it ended up backfiring on me. It turns out he loved my "special blend" and couldn't get enough of it. He told the entire office and they loved it too. I'm not really sure why, but I am diabetic which is supposed to make the urine sweet. That or they were all just used to really horrible coffee. Without telling me, my idiot boss entered my brew in a contest that Spacebucks Coffeehouse was running to find the best new coffee. I won and they offered me a ton of money to manage one of their biggest shops and make my special blend for the customers. I'm torn. I could use the money and it would be a huge relief to get out of this office. What should I do?

-A Real Pisser In Pittsburgh

Dear Pisser,

Take the job, but insist on your own private office

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781890096632
Publisher:	Padwolf Publishing
Publication date:	12/18/2018
Series:	Dear Cthulhu , #2
Pages:	100
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.24(d)

Editorial Reviews

"A crazy fun collection...Great Cthulhu dispenses a sardonic brand of advice that will make you giggle and snort with horrified glee...some very funny and dark Q & A's that will have Lovecraft fans shrieking with laughter." - J. L. Comeau, Creature Feature

"When Cthulhu approached me to write an advice column for my 'zine, I was a bit skeptical. But how could I to say no to mighty Cthulhu? I mean really, he was mad enough when I told him he could only have one page. But it turned out to be the best page in the entire 'zine. Absolutely. The BEST! Now can I please be released from my enslavement in the blurb mines, oh great one?" -Michael D. Pederson, Publisher/Editor, Nth Degree

"FUN." - Nick Cato, THE HORROR FICTION REVIEW

"Dear Cthulhu provides the finest advice to needy readers. Lord Cthulhu is the greatest and mightiest provider of guidance for mere mortals. Dear Abby is like unto a flea on His behind in comparison. Dr. Phil is but carbuncle upon one of His mighty appendages. All hail Great Cthulhu, eldest of the Old Ones, and your ONE source for sound advice. If you want to stay out of Arkham Asylum, Dear Cthulhu is your only hope." - Hildy Silverman, Publisher, Space and Time Magazine

"As an elder god, Great Cthulhu has the experience to answer the questions that would drive lesser advice columnists to madness, and he does so with a sensitivity that gives one hope for the years of chaos and darkness to come when he rises from the depths." -David Lee Summers, Editor Tales of the Talisman Magazine and author of Owl Dance.

"Dear Cthulhu is the first step toward enlightenment, by way of electro-convusive therapy. I've been reading Dear Cthulhu for years! The doctors say I may never recover. Dear Cthulhu is better than a sandblaster to your crotch and twice as fun!" -Michael Amorel, Publisher Cthulhu Sex

"More action-packed than Jerry Springer re-runs, yet safer than being aboard a train wreck. This is sofa therapy at its best... Dear Cthulhu has singlehandedly upset entire sects of people in South America... "How was I supposed to know that it was unhealthy to sleep with a C.H.U.D.? No one gives better advice or dishes it so real as Dear Cthulhu..." - Samantha "edie" Collins, editor of Dig This Real magazine

"Basically it's a Dear Abby for the Mythos-addicted, and it's meant to be a quick and fun read -- which it is." - Nancy Greene, Flames Rising

From the Publisher