How I Slept My Way to the Middle: Secrets and Stories from Stage, Screen, and Interwebs

How I Slept My Way to the Middle: Secrets and Stories from Stage, Screen, and Interwebs

by Kevin Pollak


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Kevin Pollak rose through the comedy club ranks at the feet of Don Rickles and Bill Cosby, Johnny Carson, and George Carlin. Named one of Comedy Central’s Top 100 Stand-Up Comedians of All Time, he’s a killer impressionist - Falk, Shatner, Walken, Nicholson - a versatile actor with one of the most respected filmographies around, and an Internet pioneer. He’s done it all, and now he’s ready to spill the beans. Ballsy, hilarious, and revealing, How I Slept My Way to the Middle winningly combines never-before-heard stories featuring A-list entertainers with fan favorites and Kevin’s own thoughts about how he made it. He turned down his first invitation to do stand-up on The Tonight Show because he knew that he’d make a bigger splash if he sat on the couch next to Johnny.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780762782338
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
Publication date: 11/05/2013
Pages: 272
Sales rank: 1,150,776
Product dimensions: 5.60(w) x 8.70(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Kevin Pollak has appeared in over 65 films, including A Few Good Men, The Usual Suspects, Casino and the Grumpy Old Men franchise, in addition to numerous TV shows. Named one of Comedy Central's Top 100 Comedians of All Time. He lives a short bike ride from Venice Beach in Southern California.

Read an Excerpt

Johnny did his monologue, kibitzed with Ed, then spoke with his first guest. After a commercial break, it was time. Doc Severinsen cut off his orchestra at the perfect moment, and Johnny said, in that unmistakable Iowa/Nebraska accent, "Ladies and gentlemen, making his first appearance on the show, a young comedian who's in a new movie directed by Ron Howard called Willow. Please welcome, Kevin Pollak." The audience let out a collective cry of, Who the hell is Kevin Pollak?—or at least that's what I imagined—then applauded. I walked out from behind the curtain (which I'd rehearsed 5,000 times in my bedroom mirror, no exaggeration), waved to the audience (also rehearsed), and unbuttoned my jacket (rehearsed).Oddly, I wasn't nervous, but rather excited, as excited as a kid making his first trip to Disneyworld, or a kid trying to fall sleep on Christmas Eve, or just about any guy who's about to lose his virginity.

Table of Contents

Foreword Penn Jillette ix

More Foreword Belly Bob Thornton xii

Introduction: Howard Hughes and Logorrhea xiv

1 Cos and the Zuckers 3

2 The Plane to Showbiz 13

3 Tripping Past Dad 25

4 Learning to Stand Up 28

5 John Belushi Takes a Knee 33

6 Larry, It's Albert/It's Kevin/It's Albert 37

7 Torturing Reiser, Part One 43

8 The King and I 46

9 Barry's Baltimore 58

10 Nothing Like Your First 63

11 Eat Smart 69

12 Killing Warren Beatty 71

13 L.A. Story Story 75

14 The Path Less Traveled 78

15 Called Up to the Majors 85

16 Reading between the Lines 90

17 Trophies on the Mantel 96

18 Hanging with the Big Boys … and Girls 101

19 Is the Car Here Yet?! 107

20 Jack and Mom 114

21 It's Chinatown, Kev 118

22 Jack in the Voice 121

23 Bang Bang, Shoot Shoot 124

24 Stealing Arkin's Soul or Torturing Reiser, Part Two 130

25 Midget Fuckers, Pussy Punchers, Cock Smokers, and Rectum Rockets 135

26 The Odd Couple Goes to Minneapolis 139

27 The Return of Italian Royalty 142

28 I, Suspect 145

29 The Usual Fucking Cocksuckers 154

30 The Suspects Go to Cannes 162

31 Sucking Face with Supermodels 166

32 Nixon's List 173

33 The Don 178

34 Have You Seen the Muffin, Man 183

35 Club Willis 188

36 Carpe Per Diem 193

37 No Good Deed Goes Unpunished 200

38 Walken of Fame 203

39 Boldly I Go 205

40 Jerry and Me 210

41 My Introduction to the Interwebs 216

42 If You're Not Creating, You're Waiting 223

Epilogue: President Clintons Superpowers 228

Acknowledgments 242

Index 243

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