Table of Contents
A Letter to Readers ix
Introduction xi
Section I Recognizing Overindulgence
1 What Is This Thing Called Overindulgence? Does It Really Make a Difference? 3
2 How Were Children Overindulged? It's More Than Toys and Clothes 11
3 Is It or Isn't It? The Test of Four-Clues to Overindulgence 19
4 From the Research-Fourteen Risks of Overindulging: This Is Not What Caring Adults Intended! 26
Section II Too Much
5 Have Some More: The Many Ways of Giving Too Much 37
6 I Don't Have Anything to Play With! When I Was Growing Up My Parents Gave Me Lots of Toys 42
7 I Have Nothing to Wear! When I Was Growing Up I Was Allowed to Have Any Clothes I Wanted 48
8 So Much to Do, So Little Time: When I Was Growing Up My Parents Overscheduled My Time 57
9 How Much Is Enough? I Don't Know What "Enough" Means 65
Section III Overnurture
10 What Is Nurture? All the Ways We Care 83
11 I'll Do It for You: When I Was Growing Up My Parents Did Things for Me That I Should Have Done for Myself 87
12 Look at Me! When I Was Growing Up My Parents Gave Me Too Much Attention 96
13 The Little Princes and Princesses: When I Was Growing Up I Was Allowed Lots of Privileges 101
14 Did You Have Fun Today? When I Was Growing Up My Parents Made Sure I Was Entertained 110
15 The Nurture Highway: Half of the Roadway of Parenting-Six Ways of Caring for Children, Two That Are Helpful 122
Section IV Soft Structure
16 What Is Structure? All the Ways We Keep Kids Safe 133
17 You Want Me to Do What? When I Was Growing Up My Parents Did Not Expect Me to Do Chores 138
18 I Don't Feel Like Doing That! When I Was Growing Up I Was Not Expected to Learn the Same Skills as Other Children 151
19 I Don't Need Your Rules! When I Was Growing Up My Parents Didn't Have Rules or Didn't Make Me Follow Them 160
20 Do as You Like: When I Was Growing Up My Parents Gave Me Too Much Freedom 173
21 Who Is in Charge Here? When I Was Growing Up My Parents Allowed Me to Take the Lead or Dominate the Family 184
22 The Structure Highway: The Other Half of the Roadway of Parenting-Six Ways of Structuring Children, Two That Are Helpful 197
23 The High Road-Combining Nurture and Structure: A Powerful Plan 206
Section V For Those Who Were Overindulged as Children
24 The Who and Why of Adults Who Overindulge: Forty-Two Reasons People Give In 213
25 I'll Never Do That! How Having Been Overindulged Affects Parenting 220
26 What About Me? Risks to Adults Who Were Given Too Much 231
Section VI Living with Overindulgence as the New Normal
27 Hazards in the Home: Dealing with Circumstances That Can Turn Good Intentions into Overindulgence 241
28 Hazards on the Road: Outside Pressures to Overindulge-Consumerism, the Media, Technology, the Community, and Other People 257
Section VII The Grandparents are Overindulging: What Can Parents Do?
29 When Momma Says No, I Call 1 800 Grandma: For Parents Dealing with Grandparents Who Overindulge-The Grandparent Gene 269
30 From Infants to Adults: Grandparents Can Overindulge Family Members of Any Age 275
Section VIII The Parents are Overindulging: What Can Grandparents Do?
31 Grandparents Who Want to Spoil but Can't: The Parents Beat Them to It 283
32 Now I'm a Grandparent, What Am I Supposed to Do? Give Me a Job Description 290
Letter of Hope 297
In the Therapist's Office-A Letter of Intent 299
Appendix A Parental Overindulgence Assessment Tool 301
Appendix B The Overindulgence Research Project Study Results 303
Appendix C Household Jobs Participation Chart 309
Appendix D Ages and Stages 311
References 325
Recommended Reading 331
Acknowledgments 333
About the Authors 335
Index 337
![How Much Is Too Much? [previously published as How Much Is Enough?]: Raising Likeable, Responsible, Respectful Children--from Toddlers to Teens--in an Age of Overindulgence](http://prodimage.images-bn.com/pimages/9780738216812_p0_v1_s550x406.jpg)
![How Much Is Too Much? [previously published as How Much Is Enough?]: Raising Likeable, Responsible, Respectful Children--from Toddlers to Teens--in an Age of Overindulgence](http://prodimage.images-bn.com/pimages/9780738216812_p0_v1_s90x140.jpg)
