Table of Contents
Chapter 1 A Pregnant Pause 1
Chapter 2 Lights, Camera, Push! 6
Chapter 3 Spoiled Milk 21
Chapter 4 Sexual Disintercourse 28
Chapter 5 Hussssh 40
Chapter 6 How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane 53
Chapter 7 Playdate in the Park: An Ode 59
Chapter 8 Oh, You Shouldn't Have 64
Chapter 9 Fight The Pink 72
Chapter 10 My Bodies, Myself 84
Chapter 11 Twenty-Nine Things I Have Lost Since Becoming a Parent 93
Chapter 12 All The Boys I've Loved Before (Your Dad) 97
Chapter 13 The Marriage Quotient 108
Chapter 14 The Binky War Diaries 119
Chapter 15 The Most Wonderful Time of the Year 130
Chapter 16 The Very Bad Hair Day 141
Chapter 17 Ways in Which My Preschooler Has Insulted Me 153
Chapter 18 My Very American Girl 155
Chapter 19 The First Baby 167
Chapter 20 One Is Enough 181
Chapter 21 Private Time 188
Chapter 22 The First Emergency Room Visit 197
Chapter 23 Lies I Have Told My Daughter 205
Chapter 24 The Undying Truth 207
Chapter 25 The Beginning Of The End 214
Appendix A I Am My Father's Son 225
Appendix B An Uncomfortable Conversation That My Daughter Will Have With Her Teenage Daughter Sometime in the Futuristic Future 235
Acknowledgments 239
