How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years

How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years

by Julie A. Ross

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Overview

How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years by Julie A. Ross

“You never listen to anything I say!”


Yesterday, your child was a sweet, well-adjusted eight-year-old. Today, a moody, disrespectful twelve-year-old. What happened? And more important, how do you handle it? How you respond to these whirlwind changes will not only affect your child's behavior now but will determine how he or she turns out later. Julie A. Ross, executive director of Parenting Horizons, shows you exactly what's going on with your child and provides all the tools you need to correctly handle even the prickliest tween porcupine.



  • Find out how other parents survived nightmarish tween behavior--and still raised great kids
  • Break the “nagging cycle,” give your kids responsibilities, and get results
  • Talk about sex, drugs, and alcohol so your kid will listen
  • Discover the secret that will help your child to disregard peer pressure and make smart choices--for life

"This excellent book lets parents peek into the underlying, confusing thoughts and perplexing decisions that young tweens are constantly facing."
--Ralph I. López, M.D., Clinical Professor or Pediatrics, Cornell University, and author of The Teen Health Book


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780071545891
Publisher: McGraw-Hill Professional Publishing
Publication date: 07/02/2008
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 148,798
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Julie A. Ross, M.A., is the author of Joint Custody with a Jerk and executive director of Parenting Horizons, an organization that offers regular workshops for parents and teachers as well as private counseling. She has appeared on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” “Today,” “The Montel Williams Show,” and others.


Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1. “You never listen to me anymore. I hate my life!” Middle Schoolers: Hormonal, Disorganized, and Defiant

2. “You have no idea how much stress I’m under!” The Overwhelmed “Slacker”

3. “OKAY I get it! I’m not a baby anymore.” How To Break The Nagging Cycle And Turn Responsibility Over To Your Middle Schooler

4. “But everyone in my grade is doing it!” Peer pressure and Changing Values

5. “I’m going in my room and I’m never coming out!!” Dealing with Defiance

6. “Just let me finish this ‘level’, ok?” The Computer “Addiction”

7. “I can’t do it. I want you to help me!” Encouraging Self-Esteem and Independence

8. “I’m going out: see ya later!” The Push for Independence

9. “Why are we talking about this? I mean really, I just ate!” Talking about Sex, Drugs and Alcohol

10. “I hate her. She’s the worst sister in the whole world!” Sibling Rivalry: A New Level of Competition

11. “I’m so lucky that you’re my mom.” How a relationship approach affects life after Middle School

References

Index









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How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 14 reviews.
tcf5 More than 1 year ago
I love this book! I've made notes in it and plan on referring back to it as needed. My 12-year-old son is having a really difficult time in middle school, and this book made me realize that he's not alone and that his behavior and feelings right now are very common. There were parts of this book that I felt like Julie Ross wrote specifically about my son! It might be needless to say, but middle school is definitely NOT the same as it was when I was a tween. I'm so grateful to have a "guide" on how to handle the ups and downs of middle school. After reading this book, I realized that I was going about certain situations the wrong way. I've already implemented some of the recommended strategies from the book (some of which are just changing my wording), and I can see what a positive difference they make! So helpful to hear real parents describing real problems and how they solved them. Julie Ross has been counseling families and holding parent workshops for many years, and she truly seems to be able to see the world from the middle schooler's viewpoint. Very insightful! I highly recommend this book!
Bean76 More than 1 year ago
I bought this book on recommendation of a friend. When I first got the book in the mail, I was intrigued by the claims on the back cover: * Find out how other parents survived nightmarish tween behavior ¿ and still raised great kids * Break the "nagging cycle," give your kids the right balance of responsibilities, and get results * Talk about sex, drugs, and alcohol so your kid will listen * Discover the secret that will help your child disregard peer pressure and make smart choices ¿ for life I found this book to be an excellent resource for parents to learn how to develop strong, lasting relationships with their tweens and teens. The middle school years are full of internal and external changes for a child. Julie Ross explains these changes, and focuses on how parents can effectively communicate with their tweens, using a "relationship approach", rather than an "authority approach". She discusses and gives examples of special communication techniques for parents to use, such as listening with heart, "tell me more", "the sandwich," and trust contracts, to name a few. Ross goes over her basic techniques in the first few chapters, then explains how to use them in different situations. My favorite parts of the book were the real-life illustrations of parents who had attended parenting workshops with Ross, then went home and put their new skills to the test. She also gives a few examples of parents who did NOT use the skills, and how differently the situations turned out. Not every child is the same, and Ross gives lots of insight on how to reach your tween on all different levels. I highly recommend this book for all parents who currently or will some day have a tween.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I myself am 12 years old and have nevef gotten into a fight i have striaght a's and do regular community service. And i must say with full respect realy a porqupine analogy i mean realy we can be perfect HUMAN BEINGS
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I just found this hidden when i was cleaning with my mom i took it into my room thout her reading it and omg now i know what t look for frombmy parents.
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jnl233 More than 1 year ago
I bought this book to help me along through these difficult tween years with my daughter. However, my daughter could possible be going through this tween thing a little early. She is only 10, and this book seems to geared toward a little bit older children. It has given me some great ideas though, and I do like the way it is written.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
*throws Clawstar off of Dovepaw* don't touch her or I will rip your throat out.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED BUT I SEE THAT I HAVE TO BE MORE ACTIVE!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
DOGS SUCK LOLLIPOPS DOGS SUCK!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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