If Women Ran the World, Sh*t Would Get Done: Celebrating All the Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-kicking Things Women Do

If Women Ran the World, Sh*t Would Get Done: Celebrating All the Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-kicking Things Women Do

by Shelly Rachanow

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781609251192
Publisher: Red Wheel/Weiser
Publication date: 09/01/2006
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 156
File size: 1 MB

Read an Excerpt

If Women Ran the World Sh*t Would Get Done

Celebrating all the wonderful, amazing, stupendous, inspiring, butt-kicking things women do


By Shelly Rachanow

Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

Copyright © 2006 Shelly Rachanow
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-60925-119-2



CHAPTER 1

Doing ... for Our Families


Women do so much to nurture, protect, and heal our families. From the days when we emptied chamber pots, trudged through the snow to the apothecary, and scoped out the local butcher's son as a potential sonin- law, to today, when we clean out an Ernie-and-Bert potty, drive to the pharmacy at 4:00 a.m., and remind our my-life-is-over teenager that she's wonderful even though Joe (or was it Tom?) hasn't called, women are always doing for the people we love, and we're not afraid to use strong language or just-manicured fingernails if required.

Like Shirley MacLaine in the movie Terms of Endearment, we'll run around a nurse's station like a banshee screaming, "My daughter is in pain. Give her the shot. Do you understand me? Give my daughter the shot!" without a second thought as to what someone might say or think.

Women do whatever we must to keep our families safe, protected, and loved. We always have. It's what we do.


Things Women Do for Their Families ... (Between 7:55 and 8:00 A.M.)

7:55:00 Looks through the laundry hamper for husband's missing blue sock.

7:55:28 Assures teenage daughter that her red top looks fabulous with her black miniskirt.

7:55:32 Avoids cringing at shortness of miniskirt. Keeps the peace.

7:55:58 Finds husband's sock stuck inside middle schooler's T-shirt.

7:55:59 Also spots toddler's stuffed tiger, missing for the past week, at the bottom of the laundry hamper.

7:56:22 Answers phone. Follows daughter approved script for talking to daughter's boyfriend. Keeps the peace.

7:56:43 Helps husband locate paper.

7:56:54 Decides not to remind husband that the paper was exactly where he left it last night.

7:57:02 Tosses middle schooler box of cereal as a not-so-subtle reminder to eat breakfast.

7:57:10 Remembers middle schooler has been feeling ignored. Sits next to him at the breakfast table.

7:57:40 Spots toddler attempting to hang the family dog from the railing with the leash.

7:57:41 Leaps up from the chair (without toppling it) to rescue the dog.

7:58:02 Lets the dog outside to the safety of the backyard.

7:58:05 Gives toddler the newly found tiger.

7:58:18 Apologizes to middle schooler. Asks him how soccer is going. Manages to give him her full attention for forty seconds.

7:58:58 Sees toddler doing potty wiggle by the bathroom door.

7:58:59 Gets toddler to bathroom in time.

7:59:11 Assures teenage daughter that the black top and black miniskirt look even better than outfit number one.

7:59:14 Calls daughter chic and is rewarded with a smile and, "Thanks, Mom." Keeps the peace.

7:59:23 Wipes toddler's butt.

7:59:25 Kisses husband good-bye.

7:59:28 Tells husband he looks great. Really means it.

7:59:31 Gets toddler dressed.

7:59:56 Makes it back to the kitchen table while middle schooler is still sitting there.

7:59:57 Apologizes and resumes conversation about soccer. Tries not to wonder if the quiet in the next room is a good thing or not.


A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story

As a teenager, Judee sang in clubs and dreamed of the touring life. Somehow she ended up a single mom raising two girls. Times weren't always easy, and money was tight. When nine-year-old Julie asked for piano lessons, Judee had to say no. She never forgot the sadness on her daughter's face.

Years later, long after Judee and Julie became the owners of a thriving custom optical manufacturing business, they were wining and dining at a black-tie benefit just a few weeks before Julie's thirtieth birthday. As they browsed the items up for auction, Judee saw Julie eyeing a beautiful Schafer and Sons piano with the same wistful, pleading expression that had begged for lessons long ago. But now, Judee could do something about it.

Judee's hand was first in the air when bidding started on the piano, and she would not be deterred. This gift would fulfill Julie's long-held dream. Her daughter would have that piano! Unfettered by rules of decorum and a room full of bluebloods, Judee stood up and announced to her competitor, "You can bid as high as you want, but this is a present for my daughter's thirtieth birthday. She's going to have that piano and I'm not going to stop bidding until it's hers!"

That very piano now sits in Julie's living room, and she plays it beautifully and often. Though she's shy about playing in front of other people, she always makes an exception for her mom.


A Butt-Kicking Inspiration

In the 1860s and 1870s, when Anna Jarvis was a little girl, she often heard her mother wish that there was a day commemorating all mothers for their wonderful deeds of service to their families. Years later, after her mother died in 1905, she vowed to fulfill her mother's wish.

The following year, Anna Jarvis gathered with friends on the first anniversary of her mother's death to honor and celebrate all the wonderful things her mother had done.By the second anniversary of her mother's death, she had convinced her mother's coworkers at the Andrews Church to form a Mother's Day Memorial Committee. Church leaders also passed a resolution favoring the founding of Mother's Day and held a memorial service for Anna's mother.

Anna Jarvis's efforts didn't stop there. She wrote to leaders in business and politics on all levels, and promoted her idea for a National Mother's Day every chance she had. By the third anniversary of her mother's death, she had garnered enough support that full programs were held at two Andrews Churches to honor all mothers.

Through Anna Jarvis's continued efforts, Mother's Day was observed in forty-five states, Puerto Rico, Canada, and Mexico in 1909 and the Governor of West Virginia issued the first Mother's Day proclamation in 1910. Then in 1914, just nine years after her mother's death, a joint resolution was passed by the United States House and Senate naming the second Sunday in May Mother's Day. At a time when women had not yet earned the right to vote, Anna Jarvis convinced leaders at the highest level to vote for a day that honors mothers everywhere. She fulfilled her mother's wish that all mothers are forever celebrated for the wonderful things they do.

Check out: www.genealogy.about.com

The Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Things I've Done for My Family

Have you ever had one of those days where you felt like nothing you did was enough? Even though you made it to your son's soccer game, cooked a tasty dinner that included everyone's favorite vegetable (all five of them), and went to three different stores in three different zip codes before finding the "must have" shoes of the century for your teenager, all you remember is that you were late to your daughter's ballet class, forgot that your son now hates broccoli, and learned from your teenager that the color shoes you bought are "so yesterday." All you can imagine is a breaking news headline flashing on your TV screen (next to an old yearbook picture you hoped to never see again): "Arrest this woman! She did not do enough today!"

When you're having a day like that, pull out your Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Things I've Done For My Family list so you can remember all the fabulous things you have done instead of berating yourself for all the things you should have done. Applaud yourself for the time you surprised your partner with a fabulous just-because night out (or in). Take a bow for inviting all the kids in your son's grade at his new school to a party so they would think he was cool before the first day.

You are one amazing woman. You kick butt for your family every day. Let your list be the cure any time you catch a case of not enough-itis. Instead of imagining the Not Enough Police at your door, you'll see the Get Sh*t Done Prize Patrol instead.


Butt-Kicking Things I've Done for My Family

_____________________

_____________________

_____________________


A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story

When my mom, Sally, went into labor with my brother, she thought she was prepared for anything. She'd had a standard, not-horribly-long first labor with my sister, and a dramatic, barely-made-it-to-the-hospital-and-out-of -the-elevator-before-nearly-giving-birth-in-the-hallway labor with me. Whatever baby number three had planned for her, she knew she could handle it.

She wasn't ready, however, to hear growing panic in the doctors' voices, or to have my dad whisked from the room with no explanation. She hadn't expected to deliver a son who'd need life-saving surgery the second day of his life. Nor had she expected the doctors to advise her against the procedure. "He'll ruin your lives. He'll ruin your daughters' lives. You can still have more children. You should let him die," they said. My mom, barely able to resist her urge to slap the doctor across the face (especially impressive considering all the postpregnancy hormones zooming through her body), said, "This is my child. He's living and breathing right now. I'm going to do whatever I can to give him the best life possible." For the past twenty-nine years, my mom has done exactly that. It's what women do, no matter what situation we're faced with.


A Butt-Kicking Inspiration

When Annie Dodge Wauneka was eight years old, an influenza epidemic killed thousands of Navajos on the reservation where she lived. The mild case she contracted left her resistant to the disease, and she helped many people too sick to help themselves.

Through the years her commitment to helping others played a role in everything she did, eventually leading to her election to the Tribal Council in 1951 (she was only the second woman to achieve this feat). While she was in office, she worked to make life better for Navajo families by improving health care for pregnant mothers and babies and explaining the importance of tuberculosis vaccinations. Because of her efforts, many Navajos experienced life-saving medical practices and better living conditions.

Annie Dodge Wauneka received the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1963 and was named "The Legendary Mother of the Navajo Nation" by the Navajo Council in 1984. Recently, a book was written that details all the ways she made life better for others. It is aptly titled, I'll Go and Do More.

Check out: www.greatwomen.org


The Three Ways I Kicked Butt Today

So it's 11:00 p.m. and you're curled up in bed, trying to quiet your mind after another jam-packed day. You really want to fall asleep, because in about six hours, some annoying song is going to start blaring from your alarm (probably with a tune so cheery it could turn even the nicest person into a crazed maniac).

Unfortunately, your mind is not cooperating with you. It can't stop wondering how you're going to finish sewing your ten-year-old's school play costume by 7:00 p.m. (which is when he needs to wear it) when you have one of those all-day meetings where your lunch hour isn't really your own, and you've promised your daughter you will help her find a new top for a date she actually asked your advice about. You decide to get up an hour earlier to finish sewing, and just as you are about to fall asleep you wonder if an hour will be enough time, or if you really should be attempting to use a needle (or anything sharp for that matter) that early in the morning. Wide awake once again, you try to decide if you should turn on the light and start sewing now. You also wish the mice and birds who fixed Cinderella's ball gown made house calls.

Here's a way to take back control of your mind. Instead of focusing on everything you have to do tomorrow, think about three ways you kicked butt today. Just twentyfour hours ago, you were lying in the same place wondering how you were going to manage it all, but like always, you managed just fine. Pat yourself on the back for everything you accomplished, and know that just like you kicked butt today, you'll wake up and kick butt tomorrow. You are one amazing woman, and you don't need to worry.


The Three Ways I Kicked Butt Today

_____________________

_____________________

_____________________


A Butt-Kicking Inspiration

Patricia Schroeder was first elected to Congress in 1972, and she served twelve consecutive terms as a Representative from Colorado before retiring from Congress in 1996. A mother of two young children at the time she was first elected, she was committed to making things better for all women, knowing that families would benefit as a result of her efforts. Among the many ways Patricia Schroeder kicked butt for families, she

* Wrote the Family and Medical Leave Act in 1985, which she finally saw passed into law in 1993;

* Introduced the Military Family Act, which was passed into law in 1985;

* Chaired the Select Committee on Children, Youth, and Families; and

* Co-chaired the Congressional Caucus on Women's Issues.


Patricia Schroeder was elected to the National Women's Hall of Fame in 1995 due in part to her "unblinking commitment to represent the interests of women and their families at the highest levels of government." Thanks to her efforts, life is easier for millions of civilian and military wives and moms living today.


If Women Ran the World, Here's What Might Get Done ...

Every day, millions of women around the world are doing their best to care for their loved ones. While our situations and circumstances are different, the acts of caring come from the same beautiful place inside us women. If women ran the world, perhaps CNN would become the Caring News Network, a twenty-four-hour station dedicated to all the compassionate things women do for their families, for other people, and for the world.

I can think of enough stories to last my lifetime. Headlines like these would be typical daily occurrences:

* Kentucky Gal Pals Band Together to Aid Bed-Resting Moms-to-Be

* "Equal Rights Equal Pay" No Longer Just a Battle Cry

* If Women Ran the World Author Forms Foundation to Empower Women Worldwide
(Continues...)


Excerpted from If Women Ran the World Sh*t Would Get Done by Shelly Rachanow. Copyright © 2006 Shelly Rachanow. Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

Foreword          

The Inspiration for This Book          

Doing ... for Our Families          

Things Women Do for Their Families ... (Between 7:55 and 8:00 a.m.)          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

The Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Things I've
Done for My Family          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

The Three Ways I Kicked-Butt Today          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

If Women Ran the World, Here's What Might Get Done ...          

Doing ... for Our Friends          

21 Things the Average Woman Does for Her Friends ... (Often All in One
Afternoon)          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

A Butt-Kicking What If ...          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

Send a Friend a Do-O-Gram          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

If Women Ran the World, Here's What Might Get Done ...          

Doing ... for Our Jobs          

10 Butt-Kicking Things Women Do at Work ... (That Aren't in Our Job
Descriptions)          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

The Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Things Women
Did First          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

A Butt-Kicking What If ...          

If Women Ran the World, Here's What Might Get Done ...          

Doing ... for the World          

12 Things Women Do for the World ... (Even If No One Notices)          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

A Butt-Kicking What If ...          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

The Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Organizations
Women Created          

The Butt-Kicking Ways I Want to Make a Difference          

If Women Ran the World, Here's What Might Get Done ...          

Doing ... for Ourselves          

10 Things Women Intend to Do for Themselves ... (and the 10 Things That
Happen Instead)          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

The Wonderful Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Things I Demand
From Now On          

A Wonderful, Amazing, Stupendous, Inspiring, Butt-Kicking Real-Life Story          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

The Butt-Kicking Things I Plan to Do for Myself          

A Butt-Kicking Inspiration          

If Women Ran the World, Here's What Might Get Done ...          

Share Your Butt-Kicking Ideas          

Acknowledgments          

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