It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse-and How You Can, Too

It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse-and How You Can, Too

by Winifred M. Reilly


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781501125867
Publisher: Touchstone
Publication date: 04/03/2018
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 412,827
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.37(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Winifred M. Reilly is a marriage and family therapist, with a private practice in Berkeley, California. In her thirty-five years of clinical practice she has treated hundreds of couples—many of whom felt certain they were headed for divorce. Winifred has been a guest lecturer on marriage and sexuality, and her writing has appeared on Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, xoJane, and on her relationship advice blog, Speaking of Marriage. She is the author of It Takes One to Tango.

Table of Contents

Author's Note xi

Introduction xv

Part 1 For Better-Or Worse: How to Identify the Real Problem in Your Relationship 1

1 What in the World Did "I Do"? 3

Marriage may be challenging, but it isn't impossible

2 Why Marriage Can be so Hard 17

We're playing a game, and we don't even understand the rules

3 Don't be Afraid to Change First 44

How to become the front-runner for change in your marriage

Part 2 Now What Do I Do?: How to Implement Change by Yourself 69

4 It Gets a Lot Easier Once You Know What to Fix 71

If what you're doing isn't working, try something new

5 Keep Your Anxiety from Running the Show 90

Strengthen your tolerance for the things that push your buttons

What Happens Once You Calm Down? 111

Growing separately, together

7 The Big Picture 140

How to recognize what you're really fighting about

8 We All Play a Part 164

You have more power than you think

9 Marriage Is a Choice 181

Making peace with the little (and even big) things that drive us nuts

10 Hidden in Plain Sigh 194

How we get unhooked from our big-picture issues

Part 3 Welcome to Your Stronger, More Loving Relationship: How to Keep Learning and Growing-Separately and Together

11 360 Degrees and Sunny 219

The surprising truth about what makes happy couples happy

12 It Takes One to Tango 238

A pep talk for your journey

Acknowledgments 251

Appendix: Typical and Normal Ways People Avoid Differentiation 255

Notes 257

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