It's All Under Control: A Journey of Letting Go, Hanging On, and Finding a Peace You Almost Forgot Was Possible

It's All Under Control: A Journey of Letting Go, Hanging On, and Finding a Peace You Almost Forgot Was Possible

by Jennifer Dukes Lee

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781496430472
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
Publication date: 09/18/2018
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 145,867
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x (h) x 8.25(d)

About the Author

Jennifer Dukes Lee is the author of The Happiness Dare and Love Idol. She is a popular blagger, a writer for DaySpring's (in) courage and a speaker at women's conferences across the United States. Jennifer and her husband live on the family farm in Towa, where they raise crops, pigs and two beautiful humans. She's a big fan of dark chocolate emojis, eighties music, bright lipstick, and Netflix binges. She wants to live life in such a way that you can't help but want more of Jesus.

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

Invitation

The Help Your Weary Soul Longs For

* * *

If you asked me five years ago, I naively would have told you that I didn't struggle with control. I would have said that I was a fully surrendered disciple of Christ. I mean, seriously — as long as everything went exactly the way I wanted it to, I was totally flexible.

I didn't intend to manipulate God by engaging in the most futile act known to humankind: trying to control one's life trajectory. And it's not that I wanted to control other people either. (Okay, so I might have been that take-charge kid in your high school class who led all the group projects and told you what to do — then resented everyone for not pulling their weight.)

Mostly, I wanted to control myself. If I ever had high expectations of anyone, it was of me. I wanted to present the self-assured, together version of my whole being. Which means I craved control over my face, my emotions, my body, my food, my words, my house, my schedule, my yard, my future.

My preference was a tidy, predictable, safe life where no one got hurt, where my kids remained in one piece, where there was no pain for anyone ever again, amen. My appetite for painlessness had me constantly minding the store. I hung on tight, so I could get life right.

Yet those old systems of coping weren't working.

Not long after I hit forty, I couldn't shake the truth that something needed to change. My desire to obsessively orchestrate what happened next was burning me out.

I ran out of gas.

Maybe the empty tank was God's way of bringing me to a dead stop, so I would finally pay attention. It worked. God got my attention, and maybe he's trying to get yours too.

Imagine that it's you who's run out of gas. Maybe that doesn't take much imagining after all, because like me, you're tired of trying to hold it together. You want to keep it all under control, but things aren't working out the way you planned.

If that sounds like you, picture it unfolding like this:

You're at the wheel, driving on fumes, pushing hard to get where you need to go because everyone is counting on you. The needle drops below E, and your car sputters to a stop, out of gas, at the edge of a dirt road. You are miles from where you want to be.

You rest your head on the steering wheel. It was only a matter of time. Here you are now. Empty.

But you are not alone.

Along comes a man, walking down the road toward you. The closer he gets, the more familiar he seems — the warm expression on his face, the worn hands, the creases around his eyes. You roll down the window, and he gives you an invitation, rolled up like a scroll. He waits, hands on his hips, smiling, because he's finally got your attention.

The hand-lettering reads: "You are cordially invited to embrace a new way of living. Help is here."

Sitting at the wheel, you feel your heart beat fast, as if a geyser has erupted inside your chest. You rarely ask for help, though let's be honest, you've needed help for a long time.

The man's eyes twinkle when he tells you that he can help you slow your frenetic pace to discover the life you were actually made for — a life of meaning, depth, and purpose.

Who wouldn't want this?

Your soul begs you to say yes. Because everywhere you go these days, you're pushing too hard. You're always in a hurry, eyes straight ahead, missing all the scenery. You arrive everywhere exhausted, with the tank near empty. Remember the days when you used to run your race feeling like a million bucks? You were driven and energetic; you made things happen. You were on your game, and nobody could stop you. You ran your race well, didn't you, girl? But lately, you feel like you're dragging a one-hundred-pound sack of bowling balls with you.

What if this invitation offers a way to travel lighter and be who you were meant to be, deep down?

You want to say yes, but you're scared of what this might cost you. Because you are the girl who is laser focused and responsible. You are never needy. So many people count on you. If you say yes to the invitation, what will you have to say no to? Whom will you disappoint? If you let go of everything you're holding on to, what might break? This all feels new and out of control, an unsteady, shifting place for a woman who has managed to make everyone believe she's got it "all under control."

The invitation is beautiful — but it isn't safe.

The man at the window is Jesus. You knew that.

Look, he won't force you to leap into the life you were made for, but he will shamelessly entice you. Come, he says. I want to help.

This is your invitation, the help your weary soul longs for.

Will you say yes?

The Relentless Ways of Jesus

I said yes.

I would have been crazy not to — and you can't convince me otherwise, now that I know what I know.

But I didn't know any of that at first.

I'm the mom who habitually runs our Ford Explorer's gas tank ridiculously close to empty. My record low on the digital gas gauge is an impressive two miles to empty.

I have managed my life the same way, running on fumes.

When I finally ran out of gas in my life, I saw Jesus coming down the dirt road.

He had been relentless for years, let me tell you. He delivered his invitation during a dozen Bible studies, countless nights of bed-tossing uneasiness, and those sermons that suddenly had me sitting up straight in my pew, like I'd been caught in the act.

I should have RSVP'd way back when, but I kept pushing, kept trying to hold it all together.

My condition: control.

Jesus spent years trying to tame my rather robust inner control freak. That side of me emerges at the mileposts of life, and also in the everyday moments: when team members in a project don't fulfill their obligations, when parked cars take up two spaces in the Target lot, when an airline pilot's youthful appearance leaves me with the sudden urge to research his credentials. Just last week, my inner control freak was triggered at the outdoor water park, where a whole army of shrieking kids were bobbing around in too-deep water as their Coppertone-slathered mothers worked on their tans. Like every other mom, I had come to the pool for fun, with a short stack of books and a foldable chair. But I couldn't find my chill anywhere. I was suddenly responsible for all the kids, and all the water, and all the possible pee in the pool. I had appointed myself chief of all the diving boards, all the slippery walkways, and all the sunscreen application. It's all up to ME! Everyone's life is in my hands!

So, yes, even there, Jesus encountered me, striding up sandal-footed next to my leopard-print flip-flops. He delivered that hand-lettered invitation poolside, a way of saying, "It's not all up to you, baby."

Oh, the indefatigable ways of Jesus. He slipped the invitation under the office door and under the pillow, between the pages of my too-full calendar and into my dream life, where my subconscious self always seems to be the first to know that I've stretched myself too thin, even as the rest of me fakes some semblance of fine. You know the kind of dream I'm talking about. It's the one in which you show up to college graduation, and only then do you remember that you forgot to attend all the required classes.

The invitations kept coming, and it was always my choice whether to RSVP.

I didn't say yes at first because of my vigorous control freakery. I didn't know what to do with that kind of invitation.

Here's why:

I like to gather up all the parts of my life into a neat pile, strategize exactly how they should turn out, and then ask God to bless my plans.

If I said yes to the invitation, what would it actually look like to let God take control? After all, I couldn't simply hand God my life and walk away while Jesus folded my husband's underwear and took all my calls.

So much of life clearly can't be opted out of. People depend on me. I have kids to feed. A house to manage. Books to write. Committees on which to serve.

Most people can't simply fire their lives and move on when it all gets too chaotic. We need something more tangible than a slick phrase like "Just give it over to the Lord." Jesus calls us to something more sacrificial than running from responsibility. Following Jesus takes real work. Raising kids takes actual effort. We can't stop managing a household, cancel all our appointments, and spend the rest of our days on a floatie in the middle of a lake.

There are parts of my life where I don't get to throw my hands in the air and say, "I quit, God! This is all on you!" Believe me, there are times I want to. There are areas where I do want to channel my inner Elsa and "let it go." There are times I want to give it all to him — a complete handover — and spend the rest of the year hiding under the covers while eating entire bags of BoomChickaPop kettle corn.

But Jesus shows up at the foot of the bed and says, "Come on out, girl. You can do this. I am with you. Do. Not. Give. Up."

Spiritual surrender is more complex than any Christian platitude. And it's far more uncomfortable. I knew that if I said yes to his invitation, this partnership with Jesus would ask something of me. It would ask for all of me.

It will ask for all of you too.

The Comfort of Control

Confession: I have loved the steady comfort of control — even though it was only an illusion.

Control had become a coping mechanism to numb myself from the pain of life. I believed that even if I couldn't control the big things, I could at least try to control the little stuff: what I put in my mouth, how many steps I tallied on my Fitbit, my gray hairs, the vacuum lines in the carpet, how I scheduled every minute of every day, what you thought about me when I talked with you.

This has made me very busy, of course, and probably fairly annoying.

I've generally been able to handle a lot of tasks at once, and I've always been an achiever who won't easily back down from a challenge. Hard work has never scared me. But I can't begin to tell you how much my inner achiever propels me into dangerously high gear. I can't begin to tell you how I willingly withstand the mental pressure of believing I have to be "in control," reliable, on top of all the things — and how often that self-pressure completely breaks me. I've learned to hide the fractured debris of my overworked life. You will rarely find me confessing my anxiety. Why? Because that would make me appear too needy. You will never see me posting about it on Facebook with one of those cryptic messages: "Unspoken prayer request." Sadly, for a long time I didn't even ask my closest friends for prayer. I wouldn't have told them about the times my stress was so high that I would tremble and feel unable to breathe.

I kept saying I was fine.

But I wasn't fine.

I wanted help but didn't know how to ask for it. I said I trusted God but had reached the point where I realized I actually didn't. As a Jesus girl, this shocked me.

I had built my image as the helper, not as the helped. My life looked like this: Here, let me write you another blog post. Here, let me send you an encouraging text. Sure, I can donate to your cause. Sure, I'll fill the spot on the committee. Sure, I can speak at your event.

I was generally good at all of those tasks, but every yes became another drain on the internal gas tank. I had made myself indispensable and needed, and when insistent people handed me more responsibility, I stuffed it in the trunk of the car and forged ahead on the journey because "it was all under control."

All of this doing and striving was supposed to bring me happiness. With great surprise, I realized that it wasn't working out that way at all. Trying to wrap my arms around everything and everyone felt like attempting to herd baby kittens.

I turned around to face my life and realized that the woman I'd become wasn't someone I wanted to be around. My calendar was crowded, and my body felt drained, pressurized, and frayed. I felt so much guilt because no matter what I was doing, I thought I should be doing something else. No matter what I did, it never seemed enough.

I began to ask myself questions like:

If I'm doing so much for others, why do I feel so distant from them?
The answers to those questions became the book that you're holding in your hands.

I realized that I, the woman who had it "all under control," wasn't in control after all.

At last, I said yes to Jesus.

I accepted his frightening, exquisite, life-altering, outrageous invitation.

This book is my yes. I am writing every word of this book as if I were sitting next to you, at the side of a road, with your own gas-gauge needle on E.

Jesus is with us. He's handing you the same invitation that he gave me: "You are cordially invited to embrace a new way of living. Help is here."

Strip Off Every Weight

I'm not the only one who needs help.

I know I'm not the only one because I've heard your pain. I've cried with you. I've read your e-mails in my in-box. I've watched you burn brightly, then flame out because you took on way too much. I see how you never say no because you can't handle the idea of disappointing anyone.

Underneath all of that "fine," you are in emotional pain. These are the sources of your distress:

* Some of your pain came because of all the things you're trying to do. You are tired.

* Some of your pain came because of all the things that happened to you. You are broken.

I saw life knock you down when you thought it was all under control. I attended your son's funeral. I cried with you after you found out about the affair. I held your hand after the miscarriage. I sat with you after you got the diagnosis. I drove you to your first appointment with your counselor.

This is who we are: We are women who are trying. Trying to hold it together for the sake of the family. Trying to give our best to our churches and jobs. Trying to be there emotionally and physically for the people we love. Trying to help our grown-up kids make good choices and then trying not to feel hurt when they tell us, "You're not helping, Mom; you're meddling."

I'm not the only one, and friend, you're not the only one either. So many things blindside all of us every day, and we can't control any of it.

The weather. Delayed flights. Our health. That awful text message. The traffic. The paths our kids choose. Our fertility — or lack thereof.

We ask for a map to deal with all of this, but instead Jesus gives us a compass and says, "Follow me."

Without a well-marked map, we try to draw our own. We execute plans to control this out-of-control life because we fear what will happen if we don't.

Along comes the invitation.

I have important news about this offer. It won't ask you to be someone you're not. It doesn't come with some unrealistic demand that you are suddenly going to stop being the incredibly brave and brilliant woman that you are. This invitation appreciates God's remarkable design in you. You're the capable kind of woman who reaches for the stars and gets things done. Do you know what a wonder you are?

You don't settle. You are the sort of woman we can count on to meet a work deadline, organize a food drive, take in the neighbors' kids during an emergency, drive your coworker to chemo, counsel a friend at 3 a.m. by text message, keep track of everyone's appointments, and make sure we're all wearing seat belts before you drive us on the three-day adventure that you single-handedly arranged. You're the one standing next to me at the pool, ready to rescue any swimmer in distress. Solidarity, my friend.

(Continues…)


Excerpted from "It's All Under Control"
by .
Copyright © 2018 Jennifer Dukes Lee.
Excerpted by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

1 Invitation: The Help Your Weary Soul Longs For 1

2 Illusion: The Reason We Are the Way We Are 23

3 Awesome: When Being "In Control" Gets Out of Control 43

4 Superpowers: Uncovering Your Strengths, Your Kryptonite, and That Line We All Tend to Cross 61

5 Hang On: Finding the Courage to Do Really Hard Things 75

6 Let Go: Finding the Strength to Open Your Hands 93

7 Switcheroo: Why Every Control Freak Needs to Take God Off Her To-Do List 115

8 Clueless: What to Do When God's To-Do List Makes Zero Sense 133

9 Room: It's Time to "Do, Delegate, or Dismiss" 151

10 Help: The Three Best Words You Can Say to Loosen Your Control 165

11 Wait: Learning to Pause When You Want to Push 185

12 Whole: Relaxing Your Body … Your Mind … Your Soul 201

13 Rest: The Real Reason You Feel Busy but Not Productive 217

14 Guarantee: Plans, Pinings, and a Promise 235

Acknowledgments 251

Control Code Continuum 255

The Three Control Characters 257

Decision Tree 265

Do, Delegate, or Dismiss 266

Endnotes 267

About the Author 271

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It's All Under Control: A Journey of Letting Go, Hanging On, and Finding a Peace You Almost Forgot Was Possible 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 112 reviews.
blueeyedshook 3 months ago
"You don't have to be more than you are. But you also don't have to be less." That quote is the message of this entire book, and it is a message that so many of us need. Goodness, it took me a while to get through this book, not because it's large or difficult to digest, but just because of my own time commitments and such. Amazingly, the message of this book kept me from feeling guilty for not finishing when I intended to or feeling to the need to put other things aside to speed up my reading. I know that sounds silly but when you have reading goals and reviewing goals, then sometime the pressure is on to read even more often and speed read when possible. This wasn't the type of book that I wanted to speed read. There were parts that didn't speak to me personally, although I believe they would speak to another women in a different situation. But then some chapters, I highlighted nearly every word...literally. Sections of this book could be read and reread consistently just as sweet, fresh reminders of who we, who we can be be and are meant to be, and why God needs us to remain ourselves and not copy everyone else. I love the 3 personality definitions that she gives--I am 100% a "Darling" according to her categories--and the scriptures and guides that she gives for each characterization are spot on. I love that she gives motivations, kryptonites, mottos for healthier living and key verses to lean on for each (The Driver, the Devoter and the Darling). Also, the cover is beautiful and the writing style is so relatable! Will read more from this author!
michelemorin More than 1 year ago
In It’s All Under Control: A Journey of Letting Go, Hanging On, and Finding a Peace You Almost Forgot Was Possible, Jennifer Dukes Lee devotes two full chapters and a lot of wisdom to the tightrope walk of hanging on and letting go. It turns out that “Let Go and Let God” may not be the best advice all the time, but there are also times when letting go is a true mark of bravery. It was good news to hear that “gospel living is not an either/or question. It’s both/and. It’s coming back to that fork in the road every day–with every decision, every obligation, and every relationship–and asking God to help you choose.” (77) This is a recipe for living surrendered, and it comes back to persevering through the hard work, believing through the messy middle, and practicing the spiritual discipline of active trust. Persevere through the Hard Work “Just because something is hard work, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or should be abandoned.” (85) God may call you to write a book, start a new career, or to persevere through a hard season with a needy friend. It is also likely that at some point you will be called into the hard work of letting go, of opening your hands to release grown children, to relinquish a project that has gone off the rails or a task that is not yours to do. The privilege and the challenge of this following life is living close to Truth so when God’s voice comes, our ears are accustomed to its pitch and timbre, and our hearts are in good shape for the hard work of obedience. Believe in the Messy Middle Living on the horns of a dilemma is just as uncomfortable as the metaphor sounds. We reach a point where we want ANY decision that will take the place of indecision, and yet holding on in the midst of the unknown is a powerful affirmation that we are not in control of the situation and are yielding to the One who is. When guidance comes, if God calls you to hang on, He has the end of the rope alongside you. However, if you are called to release instead and to move on in faith, Jennifer reminds readers that “for everything you’ve ever let go, Jesus is still hanging on.” (107) Practice the Discipline of Active Trust Does it help your heart to know that God knows the end result of your holding on/letting go dilemma? It is entirely true that we may “have to wait until heaven to know he was trustworthy in all that is yet to unfold in our lives. But until then, we have a choice. We can trust him with all that we are because we believe he is all he says he is. He hasn’t done all that we wanted, but he has done all that is right.” (108) Releasing our white-knuckle control over every aspect of our lives (and those we love) is fueled by that relationship of trust. The prophet Isaiah painted a picture of the point of release around seven hundred years before the birth of Christ. He did not know your situation, whether you are struggling to let go or straining to hold on, but his words come as fresh reassurance today: “Your teacher will be right there, local and on the job, urging you on whenever you wander left or right: ‘This is the right road. Walk down this road.'” (Isaiah 30:21, MSG) May we find grace to wait, to listen, and then to follow, Michele Morin Many thanks to Tyndale House Publishers for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which, of course, is offered freely and with honesty.
ReynaOrozco More than 1 year ago
Believe me when I say: A photo will never be a reflection of reality. I thought about that a lot while reading this. I am very pleased to meet fresh, vivacious, original authors who are brave enough to talk about the uncomfortable, what everyone tries to hide under a beautiful facade of "control" (I should speak in plural while I say that). I do not know how she can mix serious topics with such a natural sense of humor, it's strange that I "relaxed" like this, while reading. Since Eve, the women have had a fierce struggle for control, and it is very useful and interesting to learn how the battle of each one looks in this aspect. It is very nice to perceive the essence of an author through her lyrics and I believe that this book will open very interesting conversations among women. If you have not acquired it today is a good day to do it. I received this book as a gift in exchange for my sincere opinion, it was a pleasure to refresh my mind and put things in the right perspective (when things tend to get out of the expectations you had). It is my first meeting with this author and I am sure that I will be attentive to her upcoming works. I share with you some quotes: "My desire to obsessively orchestrate what happened next was buring me out"... "...it took me years to see how I’d built a new identity around my ministry work. One form of work perhaps looked holier than the other, but in both cases, I found myself experiencing a case of mistaken identity— estimating my worth based on my usefulness." "...don’t let your worth be tied to how well you come through for people. Don’t let your motivation be “I have to do this, or no one else will.” ... Our robust inner control freaks will feel the external pressure to say yes because we don’t want to disappoint anyone.... But look, [when your identity is in Jesus], your essential self will step out from behind all of that productivity to say, “Here I am, the disciple whom Jesus keeps on loving, no matter what.” Even if you disappoint someone." "The busier you are, the more you need to rest.... You don’t need to quit everything; you need a break so you can refuel.... It’s true: A lack of adequate rest can hinder your creativity and ability to tackle your workload." I like books with a study guide, and it has one!
NEOdyssey More than 1 year ago
This book spoke to my heart. I was worried that perhaps I would feel so much conviction about the fact that I am a bit of a control freak. Instead I felt encouraged. My perspective was challenged. I need to transform my thinking to realize that I need to be seeking God first. I need to recognize that all that I try to orchestrate will never work. Instead I need to recognize that I need to trust God to work out His best plans for my life. I will be sharing this book with others and highly recommending it!
CoriD More than 1 year ago
Every chapter of this book was encouraging to me! Life was feeling like a never-ending list of obligations, and the thought of running away was rather appealing. Yet, I don't want to run away. I want to love my people, and do my best and make a difference in this crazy life. With her conversational writing style, Jennifer Dukes Lee tells us what it means to surrender to God while being true to who He created us to be, all without needing to run away! I think every woman could benefit from this book, as there are chapters for various situations we all find ourselves in as we journey through life. She helps us learn when to say "yes," when to say "no," and how we all have a "control character" with it's own strengths and weakness. The book has Biblical wisdom, practical tools to use in making decision and personal, relate-able stories from Jennifer's life.
Karrilee More than 1 year ago
Honestly, I feel like God has been asking me to let things go and to relinquish the facade of having control for decades now! So when I saw the title of Jennifer Dukes Lee's new book, I wondered if I really needed to read it. I mean, I've got this... (and that phrase should show you the irony!) I love JDL and have been honored to be on her book launch teams for every release so far! And like all the others, in It's All Under Control, Lee uses words that both confirm what God has been teaching me and telling me, as well as words that help me actually follow through! This book is lovely and full of truth, and helps in how to let go... and how to tap into that Peace that we all long for... that Peace that has been promised to us! There are great questions and a fun quiz (of course!) and gorgeous videos and even a Study to purchase to go through this book with friends! I'm not quite finished reading it myself, but I'm far enough into it to notice changes in me and a loosening grip and rising assurance that I don't have to do it all... and what I am called to do, --well, I am not called to do it on my own! Even if you think you don't need this message... chances are, you do!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Love Love this book and the author!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved this book. Written with refreshing honesty, humor and insight into how we women find ourselves caught up in worry, anxiety, and control issues. Jennifer Dukes Lee offers practical tips to help us find freedom from our inner control freak.
HeatherLobe More than 1 year ago
I have struggled with busy-ness, people-pleasing, and control issues for most of my life. In recent years, I've picked up every book I could find about these issues. Some were great examples of the author's own healing, but not enough relatability for me to see how it could translate to my own journey. Some were missing the faith element that is critical to me. Jennifer's book, from the introduction to the very end, felt like a conversation with a dear friend who GETS ME. Not only that, but a friend who is a little further along in the journey, who could whisper encouragement in my ear and make me laugh in solidarity instead of taking myself so darn seriously. ;) Chapters 6 (Let Go- Finding the Strength to Open Your Hands) and Chapters 13 (Rest- The Real Reason You Feel Busy but Not Productive) were the game changers for me. I'm already excited about the changes I feel in my heart and my approach to my schedule/mindset through this book. I'm going to read this one again, and will definitely recommend it to a few friends/family members who I know also struggle with this. Thank you, Jennifer, for writing to my heart!
Saamlid30 More than 1 year ago
God knows what you need, when you need it and WOW this book came at the right time! It felt like Jennifer Dukes Lee jumped right into my brain and wrote this book just for me. As a stay-at-home mama of four littles and a Type-A crazy person, there was a real struggle not just to do life BUT to do it incredibly well. With school starting, early mornings, and activities lining up... I was starting to lose my cool and my mind with our new CRAZY schedule. This book helped me find peace amongst the chaos, refocus and reflect on what's most important and was reassured that it's OK to be a strong leader for our family and work hard for those around me, but that God has also called for balance. I feel like I haven't stopped talking about this book with so many girlfriends because it hits home with all of us in one way or another. This is a must read friends!
Teadrinker More than 1 year ago
I so appreciate Jennifer’s honest and down to earth sharing of her story. There is so much to think about that I couldn’t rush through it. Especially when my life sort of spun out of control right when I got this book. I am sure God planned that. The side bars and questions to think about offer some good journaling prompts. The author is down to earth and the writing feels like it is speaking directly to you.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
It’s All Under Control by Jennifer Dukes Lee is a phenomenal book; one of my favorite books I have read this year. I honestly loved every chapter but I want to share with you one practical tool that has helped me this fall. Jennifer encourages us to examine our schedule and place items into one of 3 categories: “Do: These are assignments that you consider essential or that you simply enjoy. Delegate: These are assignments that you will turn over to someone else. Dismiss: These are assignments that you will have to let go of, without guilt.” What has God called you to do? What God assignment do you need to complete? Whatever it is: leading, mentoring, volunteering, writing… Take that next step! I love what Jennifer says in her book, “You surrender outcomes but you don’t surrender effort. God will call you to do hard things, and with his Spirit pulsing through you, you are more than able.” I love this reminder that we surrender the outcomes but we still need to do the hard work! If I am completely honest, delegating can be hard for me. Does anyone else struggle with delegating? I like to be the one “doing” but I am learning to ask for help from others. In my teaching, I have parent helpers for copying and prepping. At home, I delegating more chores to the kids: dishes, dishwasher, trash, laundry… this is freeing up more time for me to do what God has asked me to do. As I examine what I can dismiss, I am learning that sometimes it is a good thing that I have to say no to so I can make room for a better thing. Sometimes my best yes is rest. In Jennifer’s book, she says, “The busier you are, the more you need to rest.” I am finding this to be so true. I cannot always make it to every social event, sometimes my body needs to rest and recuperate. For me, reading a book rejuvenates me! What rejuvenates you? What do you need to dismiss to make time for you? Life gets busy quickly so we have to be intentional. But most of all, we want to invite God into our schedules. Jennifer shares a wonderful prayer in her book that we can say each day: “God help me to make choices today that honor your plans for my life.” I highly recommend this book! It is life changing.
Simone6381 More than 1 year ago
This book Has been read, highlighted, underlined, shared, quoted and purchased for others. Reading this book is like having coffee or a smoothie with a friend, named Jennifer. I appreciated her insight and encouragement but more than anything, that I am not alone in my thoughts. It’s a must read!!
Simone6381 More than 1 year ago
This book Has been read, highlighted, underlined, shared, quoted and purchased for others. Reading this book is like having coffee or a smoothie with a friend, named Jennifer. I appreciated her insight and encouragement but more than anything, that I am not alone in my thoughts. It’s a must read!!
Simone6381 More than 1 year ago
This book Has been read, highlighted, underlined, shared, quoted and purchased for others. Reading this book is like having coffee or a smoothie with a friend, named Jennifer. I appreciated her insight and encouragement but more than anything, that I am not alone in my thoughts. It’s a must read!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you've ever wondered how you'll be able to keep it all together anymore, read this book. Letting go isn't about living your life from a floaty in the middle of a lake and holding on isn't gripping so tightly that your knuckles turn white. It's so much more. My favorite quote from Chapter 1: "There's nothing passive about surrender. Surrender isn't an act of weakness but extraordinary strength that will propel each of us into the race God has set before us." Seriously, read this book.
Alisha_M More than 1 year ago
Once again, with grace and love, Jennifer allowed the Lord to use her to speak truth into my life. The Lord used this book to convict me of the areas of my life that I was still trying to control. The Lord uses Jennifer's vulnerability, and the gift for words that He has given her, to help other women seeking to apply His truth in their lives. I highly recommend this book.
TusaRebecca More than 1 year ago
The tag line hooked me...I wanted to find peace again so badly! This book is for the strong willed, productive and tired. I have learned so much about myself and yet the author shows us how we aren’t meant to be different, but we are meant to find the best version of ourselves. To move from busy to best. I highly recommend picking it up!
BonnieVG More than 1 year ago
Jennifer's biblical approach (and humor!) in guiding us through what to let go of and what to hang on to in our daily lives is so helpful and practical! It seems this book was written just for me, but I know I'm not alone! It's All Under Control came to me in a season in my life where my head is filled with worry and my calendar is filled with obligations. Are you like me? Before you add one more "yes" to your already (overly) full schedule, before you spend one more day worrying about things that are out of your control - READ THIS BOOK!!! Help is on the way! Definitely a must-read for anyone (like me!) who is ready to let go of the crazy-busy life and embrace the life that God intended for us!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Today we are constantly bombarded by messages and there is so much to “manage,” but we also know we try to control all that’s going on around us. As a Type A woman, who doesn’t want to admit I have “control issues,” this book is so helpful. I love Jenniger’s practical approach and Scripture-based ideas for how to actually let go and hold on so we don’t miss out on all God has in store for us!
Melissa Mulvaney More than 1 year ago
This book showed up in my life at exactly the time I needed it! I knew I was a control freak that needed to let go, and God decided this summer would be the time I got a huge lesson! I’m so thankful for Jennifer’s journey and encouragement as I had to daily choose to acknowledge and allow God to be in control of my life. He was anyway...I was just too stubborn to see it! If you struggle with control (and let's be honest...who doesn’t!) this book will be a great guide to show you where you struggle and how to relinquish the control you cling to the One it belongs to.
cafpray More than 1 year ago
Your heart and your life will be refreshed.....I love this book! It is one of those books that you can pick up and open to a chapter and it speaks to you. Then, when you have time, read the book all the way through. No matter how you use this book, it will speak to your heart and change your life, your thoughts, your decisions. I have had the opportunity to follow this author and she speaks from experience and with the knowledge of how to help women change with grace and patience toward themselves. LOVE THIS BOOK!!!
Anne-Renee More than 1 year ago
"Tend your seeds wherever they may fall, my friend. You never know what might be growing, even now, in unexpected places." This book is chock-full of heart moving words like these. Concepts that will convict and comfort, while giving the reader tools to fully let go of those things that keep us from living a life of freedom. A life wholly surrendered to the One who controls it all. So if you’re a bit of a control freak like me, get ready to have your soul stretched, in the very best of ways. *As part of the launch team for It’s All Under Control, I received an Advanced Reader’s Copy (ARC) of the book in return for my honest review.
TechinEdu More than 1 year ago
Let me begin by saying that I'm about as Type- A, typical first-born as they come. I am an admitted over-achiever who is her own worst critic. I stress when things don't go according to plan and chaos gives me overwhelming, gale-force anxiety. From the very first pages, and because I personally know and admire Jennifer Dukes Lee, I knew that this book was written for the likes of me. I felt like she channeled my deepest emotions as she admitted many of the same feelings I have on a daily basis. It's one thing, however, to connect with a person through similar circumstances or points of view. It's quite another to be guided on a journey to rectification of these emotions through the truth provided in the Word. He has it under control and it felt glorious to be reminded of that fact as it relates to my once incessant need to try to control all aspects of the world around me. What a release. If you, too, struggle with that need to micro-manage your life and everyone else's in your circle, this book is most definitely for you. You won't regret it.
LetaJ More than 1 year ago
Jennifer Dukes Lee is one of my favorite authors and her latest book does not disappoint. She is the encourager extraordinaire as is evident in this book. It was a balm to my soul, the message being that I am already beloved with nothing to prove. All the control I desire over all my circumstances can’t earn me anymore of God’s pleasure over my life. In a season full of change and uncertainty it taught me the peace of giving up my need for control in surrender to the One who always cares for me. Over and over again Jennifer’s words encourage me to to stop striving and just rest in Him.