Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self.
Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions.
Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear.
In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike
• why all emotions—even the most painful—have value.
• how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them.
• how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time.
• how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are.
Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.
|Publisher:||Random House Publishing Group|
|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 9.30(h) x 0.90(d)|
About the Author
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, received her BA in biochemistry from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times and professional journals. Jacobs Hendel also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. She lives in New York City.
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Excerpted from "It's Not Always Depression"
Copyright © 2018 Hilary Jacobs Hendel.
Excerpted by permission of Random House Publishing Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
1 Getting to Know the Change Triangle
What This Book Will Do for You 3
The Story of Me 9
The Change Triangle Basics 15
How Comfortable Are You with Emotions? 29
2 Releasing Core Emotions
Fran's Panic, Anxiety, and Grief 33
You Can Change at Any Age: Neuroscience and Neuroplasticity 51
Experiment: Slowing Down 59
3 Identifying Trauma
Sara's Depression and Navigating Conflict 69
We Are All a Little Traumatized: Small t and Big T Trauma 88
We Are Wired for Connection: The Science of Attachment 96
Experiment: Giving Yourself Compassion 106
Experiment: Self-Parenting 108
4 Core Emotions
Bonnie's Rage 113
Everything You Need to Know About Your Core Emotions 135
Experiment: Noticing Internal Experiences 144
Experiment: Finding Your Core Emotions 149
5 Inhibitory Emotions
Spencer's Social Anxiety 153
Working with Anxiety, Shame, and Guilt 163
Experiment: Calming Anxiety 193
Experiment: Shaming Messages 196
Experiment: The Shoulds You Encounter Daily 199
Experiment: Guilty Feelings 203
The Healing Emotions of Joy, Gratitude, and Pride in the Self 205
Experiment: Joy, Gratitude, and Pride in the Self 210
Mario's Story: Moving Through Trauma to Peace 217
Experiment: Noticing Your Defenses 237
7 The Openhearted State
Sara Redux: The Authentic Self and Openhearted State 243
The Self, the Openhearted State, and the C's 251
Experiment: Finding Your C's 258
Experiment: Plotting Yourself on the Change Triangle 261
Experiment: Working the Change Triangle 263
Final Words 267
Appendix A List of Sensation Words 277
Appendix B List of Emotion Words 281