It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self

It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self


$25.20 $28.00 Save 10% Current price is $25.2, Original price is $28. You Save 10%.
View All Available Formats & Editions
Choose Expedited Shipping at checkout for guaranteed delivery by Friday, October 25


Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self.
Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions.
Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear.
In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike
• why all emotions—even the most painful—have value.
• how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them.
• how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time.
• how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are.
Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780399588143
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 02/06/2018
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 79,768
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.30(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, received her BA in biochemistry from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times and professional journals. Jacobs Hendel also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. She lives in New York City.

Read an Excerpt


Excerpted from "It's Not Always Depression"
by .
Copyright © 2018 Hilary Jacobs Hendel.
Excerpted by permission of Random House Publishing Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Foreword vii

1 Getting to Know the Change Triangle

What This Book Will Do for You 3

The Story of Me 9

The Change Triangle Basics 15

How Comfortable Are You with Emotions? 29

2 Releasing Core Emotions

Fran's Panic, Anxiety, and Grief 33

You Can Change at Any Age: Neuroscience and Neuroplasticity 51

Experiment: Slowing Down 59

3 Identifying Trauma

Sara's Depression and Navigating Conflict 69

We Are All a Little Traumatized: Small t and Big T Trauma 88

We Are Wired for Connection: The Science of Attachment 96

Experiment: Giving Yourself Compassion 106

Experiment: Self-Parenting 108

4 Core Emotions

Bonnie's Rage 113

Everything You Need to Know About Your Core Emotions 135

Experiment: Noticing Internal Experiences 144

Experiment: Finding Your Core Emotions 149

5 Inhibitory Emotions

Spencer's Social Anxiety 153

Working with Anxiety, Shame, and Guilt 163

Experiment: Calming Anxiety 193

Experiment: Shaming Messages 196

Experiment: The Shoulds You Encounter Daily 199

Experiment: Guilty Feelings 203

The Healing Emotions of Joy, Gratitude, and Pride in the Self 205

Experiment: Joy, Gratitude, and Pride in the Self 210

6 Defenses

Mario's Story: Moving Through Trauma to Peace 217

Defenses 229

Experiment: Noticing Your Defenses 237

7 The Openhearted State

Sara Redux: The Authentic Self and Openhearted State 243

The Self, the Openhearted State, and the C's 251

Experiment: Finding Your C's 258

Experiment: Plotting Yourself on the Change Triangle 261

Experiment: Working the Change Triangle 263

Final Words 267

Acknowledgments 271

Resources 275

Appendix A List of Sensation Words 277

Appendix B List of Emotion Words 281

Bibliography 285

Notes 291

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews