Read an Excerpt
Pastoral Prayers in Public Places
Just in Time
By F. Belton Joyner Jr. Abingdon Press
Copyright © 2006 Abingdon Press
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-687-49567-2
CHAPTER 1
DEATH
FUNERAL HOME—CHOICES TO BE MADE
Few settings make death more real for a family than actually sitting with a representative of a funeral home, making decisions about service and burial plans. A pastoral presence can provide support and sacred boundaries for those conversations.
Example
Mary Johnson had long expected her mother to die. Over eight difficult years, her mother slowly became less and less the person Mary had known, reduced to a non-communicating shadow of her former self. Now she has died. Mary, with a few family members and her pastor, sits down with the funeral director to plan the needed next steps.
Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you." (Psalm 16:1-2)
Prayer
It is hard to admit, O God, that life includes death. Here we come with choices to be made that will not let us escape the reality of loss, the certainty of transition, the emptiness of these moments. Our claim is upon Your presence. Our hope is sustained in Your promise. Our trust is that You will guide us.
Clear our minds with a peace the world cannot give. Calm our anxieties with coolness for the heat of our hurt. Collect us with all those who would help us that we might move in ways which honor good memory, which unfold new possibilities, and which strengthen us for these days.
Our hours of recall are not always good, but we know that Your love is; and now in thanksgiving we accept Your guidance in the face of death as surely as You are with us in the fullness of life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
BEFORE THE SERVICE
The family has gathered, often from some distance; and it is time to go into the sanctuary or to some other place for the service. The ritual of this entrance can be awkward for those not accustomed to being the focus of attention, painful for those who are struggling with death's seeming power, and significant for those who see these coming moments as a final good-bye.
Example
Evan had done his best "to hold it together" as many in the family grieved openly at the death of Aunt Diane. She had always been the one "to be there" for others, and now they were here for her. Evan shuddered quietly as the signal came that it was time to go into the service. A sensitive pastor recognized this as a time for centering prayer.
Recalling your tears, I long to see you so that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that lived first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, lives in you. (2 Timothy 1:4-5)
Prayer
Here we are, O God, ready to offer You praise for the life of Aunt Diane. There is praise to be given, but there is also pain to be felt. We are grateful for those who have gathered to carry part of that pain with us. We are grateful for the life that now we celebrate. We are grateful for this community of faith, which by nature is drawn by Your magnetic grace to pray, to proclaim, and to persevere.
Go with us into this service. Indeed, we claim that, in Christ Jesus, You have preceded us into this hard place. And in His name we see that victory even in our loss; in His name we hear that hallelujah even in our sadness; in His name we taste a banquet where all Your saints will gather even as now we come. Amen.
NO FAMILY OR FRIENDS
Acemetery can be a place of uncommon bleakness when a pastor meets personnel from the funeral home for a burial of someone who is not remembered by family or friends. The pastor and those who work at the gravesite might well be the only persons present. Almost certainly, the deceased will be someone the pastor does not know in any other context.
Example
The phone rang in Pastor Christianson's office. She answered and heard the familiar voice of Carl Wynne, day manager at the community funeral home. "Reverend, we've got this man here who died at Memorial Hospital. They have no record of any family or connections. Can you meet us at Gracelawn Cemetery at 2:30 and do a service?"
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
Prayer
God, our creating Parent, You said that it was not good that we should be alone. God, our blessed Savior, You yourself were left apart in solitary prayer and in solitary suffering. God, our living Breath, You seek us; You seek us until You find us.
We gather here now, Source of all grace, because You have made us all into one family. Our brother has gone into Your closer presence, and we do not even know who would mourn this loss. This child of Yours has died, and now we are left with the questions of life's mysteries. How silly of us to think that he is unknown because we do not know him! How rich is Your love that cares for the sparrow that falls, for the lily that fades, and now for this son who returns where life began, in Your caring and watchful presence. We pray in the name of the triune God, ever in community that we might always have family. Amen.
SUICIDE
One of the hardest pastoral responsibilities is to minister after a suicide attempt. If the death is completed, there is an added dimension of the struggle to understand and accept; if the effort is not finalized, there are issues of doubt, guilt, broken relationships.
Example
To all appearances, Ellis Van Buren had a good life, filled with business successes, strong family ties, and an active faith. Shock and disbelief rampaged through the community when people began to find out that Mr. Van Buren had taken his own life. "Why?" "Did I miss some signal?" "What could I have done to prevent it?" "Can he go to heaven if he shot himself?" "Why?" "Why?"
Then Saul said to his armor-bearer, "Draw your sword and thrust me through with it, so that these uncircumcised may not come and thrust me through, and make sport of me." But his armor-bearer was unwilling; for he was terrified. So Saul took his own sword and fell upon it. (1 Samuel 31:4)
Prayer
O God, if we knew why, we would name it before You! Hear our plea for help; hear our plea for hope. We confess that we do not grasp the depths which drive one of Your children to end the life You began. We confess that faint stirrings of guilt, soft wondering about our own inattentions, and a simple unease all groan within us. Grant us a grace which will be sufficient for our own broken and breaking places.
We thank You for Your love which is not constrained by the boundaries of life and death. Into Your tender presence, we commend our brother. Even now, heal him by a gift that always comes to us undeserved. Even now, receive him as a child who trusted his Parent's final tomorrow, all of which we reach to grasp; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
NEW GRAVESTONE AT CEMETERY
The marker for a new grave is not usually installed at the cemetery until several weeks after the burial. Some of the initial work of grieving may well have been done, and the pastor can use the occasion to help survivors move to a new place of healing.
Example
Merino Valaquez was excited about the marker planned for her father's grave. "We had them carve a rose on the stone because the rose was Papa's favorite flower. He always said it bloomed when some flowers drooped. And that's the way he was!" Pastor Kirby suggested, "Why don't we all go to the cemetery and have a prayer to dedicate that stone?"
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and named it Ebenezer [that is, Stone of Help]; for he said, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." (1 Samuel 7:12)
Prayer
God of the ages, how recently we gathered here to commit to the ground your servant, Edgardo! We thank You for restoring good memories of his life among us. We thank You for promises of the gift of resurrection.
Now, Lord, we mark this place in a way to declare it a special place. With a rose that blossoms even yet, we recall a good life that reaches us even yet. With a rock that names a name, we declare that You have loved us one at a time. With this sign for our loved one, we dare to offer his memory to generations yet to come. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for walking with us when we left this place on another day, and now go with us in the gladness of new tomorrows made possible through Your grace. Amen.
DECORATIONS AT CEMETERY
Many cemeteries allow visitors to bring special decorations for gravesites. Frequently, persons see this opportunity as a seasonal ritual—Christmas, Easter, spring, for example. These signs of memory may go on for years or just be offered occasionally. A pastor might offer to join the family on its first such visit.
Example
Barbara and Fred Bryant had been married thirty-six years when he died. When the next Christmas came, she wanted to place a small plant at the grave. "He gave me a poinsettia every Christmas we were married," she told her pastor. "Now I want to give one to him." Only the pastor and Barbara Bryant went to the cemetery as the brisk winter winds worked chills around every marker. "Will you offer a prayer, Pastor, after I put Fred's plant at his grave?"
The flowers appear on the earth;
the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land. (Song of Solomon 2:12)
Prayer
Generous God, You have given us love, and its bounty is such that now it reaches across borders of life and death. Caring God, You have given us memory, and its gift is such that now joys of yesterday struggle to express themselves today. Creating God, You have given us plants for beauty, and their touch upon us is such that now they bring forth yet again a glimpse of a yes in the midst of life's sadness.
With thanksgiving, we remember the Christmas after Christmas that Barbara and Fred spent together. With joy, we remember the birth of Jesus and await His coming again. And in these times in-between—between Christmas past and Christmas now and Christmas yet to be—receive this plant as a celebration of Your presence in this hard place and as a gratitude for the years when such a plant meant so much. We dare to pray this because of Jesus Christ. Amen.
CHAPTER 2
COURT
CITIZENSHIP
Changing one's citizenship is one way of moving into new relationships, even into another identity. Putting this important moment within the context of the Christian faith gives a shaping dimension to citizenship.
Example
Kwang-Jin Jung had wondered if this day would ever come! "I bring who I am with me," he said, "but I am in a new location. This now is my home of place." Pastor Faggart was alert to the significance of the citizenship ceremony and invited Kwang-Jin Jung and family to have a prayer of celebration and responsibility. "That's who I am too," the proud new citizen-to-be had said.
Pay to all what is due them—taxes to whom taxes are due, revenue to whom revenue is due, respect to whom respect is due, honor to whom honor is due. (Romans 13:7)
Prayer
O God, the Giver of beginnings, we praise You for giving to Your servant Kwang-Jin Jung fresh possibilities, extended hopes, and a new nation. You have given him life; and now You call him to new loyalties, new responsibilities, and new opportunities. We make no claim for the perfection of this nation; but we do make full claim upon Your presence in its work for justice, its care for the poor, and its openness to those who seek to be its people.
Keep alive in this citizen the gifts of a past and the fruits of a heritage. As he turns toward the duties of a different flag, grant him the joys of its best memories and the challenges of its weaker moments. And in all things keep him pointed toward that kingdom which knows not human boundaries and which will finally show peace and abundance to all the nations; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
CRIMINAL TRIAL
Questions of guilt and innocence may shape the ultimate spiritual needs of one who undergoes a criminal trial, but the pressures and hazards and unanticipated moments all create a basic pastoral setting: a confused, hurting, off-balance time.
Example
The charges were serious. Sylvia Pilaster said she had been misunderstood: what some took for illegal assault had really been self-defense when her home was being invaded. "You don't use a snow shovel to hit a young teen before he has a chance to turn and leave, but that is what she did," the prosecutor said. "Ms. Pilaster had no way to know this intruder's intent when he showed up on her screened porch," the defense lawyer stated. Out of jail on bond, Sylvia Pilaster wanted her pastor to pray.
To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice. (Proverbs 21:3)
Prayer
Everything seems to be coming unglued, O Lord. To some, our yes sounds like a no, and our no sounds like a yes. Tomorrow holds we know not what. And today holds enough troubles to suffice for a season. But we look on that hill far away, and the cross is still empty. We look into that tomb beside the useless rock, and the tomb is still empty. It's Your presence with us now that gives us power that is not written by human hand or decided by human thought. You who see the heart as quickly as others see the hand, flush with forgiveness the sinful places of our lives and love us enough that we shall be able to forgive those who wrong us or seek to wrong us.
Be with those to whom our society has entrusted judgments of right and wrong, and when those decisions please You, we give You thanks, and when those decisions make sad your heart, grant us grace to live toward righteousness, which we have seen in and claim through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
SENTENCING HEARING
Once a court's guilty verdict has been heard, some persons are disappointed, shocked, angered; others feel justified, pleased, even triumphant. In each case, the hearing to determine an appropriate sentence is high in emotion and expectation.
Example
Odell Paschal knew that he had been found guilty. "Why don't I feel guilty?" he asked the Reverend Ms. Swanson. "I know I did wrong, but I never thought it would come to this. I could even be put in prison! What about my family? Maybe that is what I feel guilty about—leaving them for prison—not for this technical violation of some obscure tax law!" Ms. Swanson knew it was not a moment for her to speak. "I guess I'm in denial," added Mr. Paschal. "Will you pray for me?"
The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
because the LORD has anointed me;
he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed,
to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and release to the prisoners. (Isaiah 61:1)
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Pastoral Prayers in Public Places by F. Belton Joyner Jr.. Copyright © 2006 Abingdon Press. Excerpted by permission of Abingdon Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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