Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love's 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship

by Jamie Turndorf

Overview

Heated fighting triggers a biochemical imbalance in men that causes them to flee from conflict. The technical name for this is the Demand/Withdraw Negative Escalation Cycle, also known as "husband withdrawal." This is the number one cause of marital and relationship strife, divorce, and domestic violence. Dr. Jamie Turndorf’s techniques, based on 30 years of research out of her Center for Emotional Communication, transform conflict into connection for a lifetime of lasting love. Even if you’re locked in battle and have been for years, your relationship can change. Beginning with simple Cool-Down steps, you’ll learn why husband withdrawal occurs and then how to use Climate Control strategies to reset the relationship. Women will discover the real reason why men never seem to listen—it’s nothing personal—and the secret trick that actually makes them want to listen and stick around to settle disputes. Dr. Turndorf’s proven conflict-resolution method interrupts the cycle of fighting for the majority of couples, and can also be used to defuse disagreements among friends and family members.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781401945336
Publisher:	Hay House Inc.
Publication date:	01/20/2014
Pages:	272
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Known to millions as "Dr. Love," Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D., has been seen on numerous TV shows and is the "go-to" relationship expert on CNN, CBS, FOX, VH1, WebMD, and MSNBC. She has been delighting audiences for three decades with her engaging blend of professional expertise and humor, and her remarkable ability to translate clinical psychobabble into easy-to-understand concepts that transform lives. Her conflict-resolution and communication methods help people turn clashes with spouses, partners, family members, or friends into deeper connections.Website: AskDrLove.com

Table of Contents

Preface xi

Introduction xv

Chapter 1 Understanding the Chemistry of Fighting 1

Chapter 2 The Relationship Battleground: Identifying and Rating Your Conflicts on the Fighting Richter Scale 11

Chapter 3 The No-Fly (Off the Handle) Zone: Eliminating Fight Traps and Faulty Conflict-Resolution Tactics 31

Chapter 4 Battle of the Bulge: The Sex Wars 61

Chapter 5 Battle Scars: How Childhood Wounds Cause Chronic Relationship Conflict and How to Heal Them 75

Chapter 6 How Your Head Can Be Your Own Worst Enemy: Training Your Mind to Fight For (Not Against) You 107

Chapter 7 The Battle-Ax: How Women Can Use Climate Control Techniques to End Relationship Fighting 117

Chapter 8 Listening to the Battle Cry: How to Use Your Ears to Resolve Conflicts 151

Chapter 9 On Furlough: Knowing When Not to Negotiate 181

Chapter 10 The Peace Treaty: How to Negotiate a Contract 199

Afterword: Declaring a Permanent Truce 237

Bibliography 241

Acknowledgments 247

About the Author 249

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“Dr. Turndorf has relationships figured out. If you want a great relationship, you must follow her ten-step method for lasting love.”
— Jack Canfield, multiple New York Times best-selling author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and contributor to The Secret, with more than 500 million books in print
 
“If anger and fighting are ruining your dream of a happy marriage (or relationship), Dr. Turndorf’s conflict-resolution program is for you.”
— John Gray,author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
 
“This well-researched book offers a thorough, step-by-step program that provides tools for couples to heal even the most troubled relationships.”
— Dr. John Mack, Pulitzer Prize–winning author and former professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
 
“This book is mandatory reading for every couple that wants to build lasting love.”
— John Bradshaw,author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Homecoming

Editorial Reviews

"Dr. Turndorf has relationships figured out. If you want a great relationship, you must follow her ten-step method for lasting love."
— Jack Canfield, multiple New York Times best-selling author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and contributor to The Secret, with more than 500 million books in print

"If anger and fighting are ruining your dream of a happy marriage (or relationship), Dr. Turndorf’s conflict-resolution program is for you."
— John Gray, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"This well-researched book offers a thorough, step-by-step program that provides tools for couples to heal even the most troubled relationships."
— Dr. John Mack, Pulitzer Prize–winning author and former professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School

"This book is mandatory reading for every couple that wants to build lasting love."
— John Bradshaw,author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Homecoming

From the Publisher