Light on the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You (Life After Divorce, Divorce Book for Women)

by Elizabeth Cohen

Overview

Create a Life After Divorce That You Love

“…divorce is a grand opportunity for reinvention of oneself. It has the potential to be a bright new beginning.” —Christiane Northrup, MD, NY Times bestselling author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom; The Wisdom of Menopause; and Goddesses Never Age

#1 New Release in Divorce

Offering a well-researched and tested method for recovering from a broken heart after divorce, Dr. Elizabeth Cohen brings her highly successful "Afterglow" process to you in Light on the Other Side of Divorce. Don’t just move on after a breakup―thrive.

Letting go of someone you loved. Dr. Elizabeth Cohen has been there―she knows how it feels to have your life derailed by divorce. As a therapist who has worked with hundreds of divorcing clients, she has developed the Afterglow method, which teaches you how to rediscover a life of growth, change, and abundance. Her method has been informed by her own healing journey and is based primarily on research-supported strategies, resulting in a balanced method that takes advantage of modern psychology and science, while remembering what it feels like to experience the emotions of divorce-recovery.

Set yourself up for success. It’s true, letting go and moving on is hard. But if you read this book and try the exercises, you will see change. You will feel different. You will feel a positive shift in your life and your attitude. People will comment that you look different. You will get more sleep, feel at ease, and have more hope.

Learn about:

• Tools for stoppling self-defeating thoughts and self-doubt
• State-of the art therapeutic approaches to managing fear and overwhelm
• Active strategies for lasting positive changes and results

Readers of divorce books for women and men like This Is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe, Conscious Uncoupling by Katherine Woodward Thomas, and Finding Love After Heartbreak by Stephan Labossiere will find joy after heartbreak with Light on the Other Side of Divorce.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781642505566
Publisher:	Mango Media
Publication date:	04/20/2021
Pages:	294
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Clinical psychologist, Dr. Elizabeth Cohen is the CEO and Director of Dr. Elizabeth Cohen and Associates, a group private practice in the heart of New York City serving hundreds of clients a year. The practice is dedicated to teaching, witnessing and encouraging clients to learn, grow, and heal so they can feel mastery in their lives.

Dr. Cohen is the founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce. This course teaches women how to thrive not just survive their divorce no matter how difficult the process has been.

Dr. Cohen received her PhD in clinical psychology from Boston University. As part of her graduate training, she treated clients at the world-renowned Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders in Boston, MA.

Dr. Cohen was the recipient of the prestigious American Psychological Foundation Research Award for her doctoral research. Following her time at BU, Dr. Cohen completed her pre-doctoral internship at Bellevue Hospital Center and the New York UniversityChild Study Center.

Dr. Cohen has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, The Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women’s Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast and Good Housekeeping. She is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her “Divorce Course” column.

Hometown:

Port Crane, New York

Date of Birth:

June 13, 1959

Place of Birth:

Indianapolis, Indiana

Education:

B.A., University of New Mexico, 1983; M.A., Temple University, 1987; M.F.A., Columbia University, 1990

Read an Excerpt

Growing up I was often in the position of figuring out ways to handle sticky situations. My parents were often overwhelmed by the demands of their lives to help me problem solve. They were plagued by their own internal struggles and did not have mental energy to guide me. I was left to my own resources. I found ways to make things work for me. For example, despite repeatedly telling my mother I did not like the food she prepared for lunch at school she continued to pack it day in and day out. Since she could not hear my request, I found a way to have food that I liked. I simply asked the lunch attendants if I could have school lunch. Despite my not having signed up for this benefit they absolutely gave me lunch along with a smile every day.

Everyone who knows me would say, “Liz, you always find a way to work things out.” I am a master planner, organizer and strategist.

So, imagine how I felt when I was faced with the deep truth that I could not fix this man. I could not heal his drinking disease. I could not find a way for him to commit to and be in our family in a healthy way.

I did not give up easily though. I tried all the things I could.

I just could not accept that I could not fix this. Truly, that was my mistake. That was what I contributed to the end of our relationship, my resistance to let him and the relationship go.

I did not want to let go. My determination to hold tight became more about me trying to be successful rather than trying to help him. I recall a mentor at the time saying, “figuring it out is not a solution in this situation but, letting go is.” I really did not want to hear that, but somewhere deep inside I knew this to be true.

I could only let go of the relationship when he put one of the children at risk and I found the courage to kick him out.

I felt angry, scared, overwhelmed,broken, unmoored, and shattered. I did not know who I was without my marriage and the life I was leaving behind. I had spent years building that life and in what felt like an instant, it was all over. I could not imagine a future or even the next day. My relationship was excruciatingly painful and I felt somewhere deep inside that it was all my fault.

I would go over and over what I had said the moment before he went out and got drunk. I reviewed how my demands and requests might have been too much. As a therapist I tried to analyze his deep avoidance of his responsibilities and see where I could have done more.

I was tortured with my thoughts. I was walking around the city I live in like a zombie. If you were to see me at the playground with my kids you would have thought I was having a fine time as I had learned over the years married to an alcoholic to pretend, I was ok. Inside I was a mess. I was sad, scared, and ashamed.

One cold winter day in NYC I was pushing the kids in an unwieldy double stroller trying to get around the pedestrians without pissing them off too much. I walked by a store window. I turned to look at my reflection and was stopped in my tracks. There in the corner of the window was a jewelry box with script writing on it in a gorgeous shade of purple. There was something about this object that was so compelling to me. The phrase etched on the box was “just when the caterpillar thought life was over, it became a butterfly.” I felt chills all over my body and began to tear up. I went into the store and bought that box. I did not believe this quote and couldn’t imagine how it would help me, but I knew I had to have a reminder of this possibility around me.

As a problem solver I quickly started looking for solutions. One evening, once our kids had gone to bed (thank goodness) and with two glasses of champagne, another recently divorced girlfriend and I started googling support groups and retreats for divorced women.

We were so desperate for answers and guidance. We felt like starving animals searching for their next meal. We wanted to relieve the pressure of feeling like such failures. We were searching for compassion, support, and skills to handle what was coming. We wanted a community to help us feel less ashamed and less alone. We were hoping for knowledge of what to expect with co-parenting, dating, friends, and our senses of selves.

Believe it or not, we found NOTHING.

We could not find a comprehensive program anywhere!

Given, my problem-solving attitude I got to piecing together a healing program for myself using my clinical knowledge and, honestly, pure willpower.

Table of Contents

Introduction: My Story and Where this Book Came From
Chapter 1: Ready, Set...How To Use this Book Successfully
Chapter 2: Divorce is not so bad! : Attacking Assumptions about Divorce
Chapter 3: Let your anger out!: How to Process Anger
Chapter 4: You got it going on!: How to stop Negative Thinking In It’s Tracks
Chapter 5: You can create a life you love: How to Live By Design Not By Default
Chapter 6: Friends or foes? : How to Get the Support You Need During Your Divorce
Chapter 7: You got this!: Believing in Your Ability to Heal
Chapter 8: Letting go of resentment: How to Feel At Ease with your Ex
Chapter 9: Co-parenting with ease: How to Share Loved Ones with your Ex
Chapter 10: Jumping Back into the Pool: Dating post-divorce
Chapter 11: Self-care central: The Art of Taking Care of Yourself
Chapter 12: Treat yo’ self: How Pleasure is the Key to Healing
Chapter 13: No pain no gain, baby: Processing Loss and Grief
Chapter 14: Living After Afterglow: The Long Term Impact of Divorce

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“Going through a divorce is like going through a death...except that no one dies. In my personal experience, I felt that the whole process would have been easier if one of us had, in fact, departed this life. As with all things that spur personal growth, however, divorce is a grand opportunity for reinvention of oneself. It has the potential to be a bright new beginning. In this marvelous book The Light at the Other End of Divorce, the pathway to this new life is fully illuminated so that you won't be wandering in the dark with no flashlight. If you've been through a divorce or are even contemplating one, this book is for you. I wish I had had a copy way back when. Thank you Elizabeth Cohen for this gift of healing wisdom.”
—Christiane Northrup, MD, NY Times bestselling author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, The Wisdom of Menopause, and Goddesses Never Age

“What is groundbreaking about Dr. Cohen’s book is her thoughtful, step-by-step approach that transforms our notions of love and marriage, making the process of divorce no longer something to be feared but instead an opportunity to grow into our new selves and to build a bridge to our new tomorrows.”

—Dr. Shefali, clinical psychologist and NYT bestselling author of The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children