Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples

by Gina Senarighi PhD, CPC

Overview

Learn to communicate effectively, meaningfully, and lovingly with your partner—even in tense situations.

Conflict is part of every relationship, even the healthiest ones. The key to a long-lasting relationship isn't avoiding fights, but rather seeing them as opportunities to work together. In her book, Gottman-certified relationship coach Dr. Gina Senarighi gives us the tools and strategies we need to communicate effectively, rebuild trust, and repair past hurts.

Love More, Fight Less features:

30 COMMUNICATION SKILLS AND ACTIVITIES for building self-awareness, identifying and interrupting emotional reactivity, eliminating judgment, separating thoughts from feelings, and more

29 COMMON PITFALLS IN RELATIONSHIPS around issues of intimacy, career, finances, family and home matters, and friendships with other people—and how to navigate them

STEP-BY-STEP GUIDANCE AND EXPERT INSIGHT to help you transform your relationship's conflict patterns by integrating effective communication skills

This relationship workbook is for couples who want to learn new skills and build a solid foundation for working through conflicts and moving forward in ways that strengthen their bonds.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780593196656
Publisher:	Zeitgeist
Publication date:	07/28/2020
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	120,836
Product dimensions:	7.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Gina Senarighi, PhD, CPC is an author, teacher, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach. She's been supporting clean fights and dirty sex in happy, healthy relationships as an educator, coach, consultant and couples therapist for over ten years.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Part 1 Effective Communication Skills 10

1 Self-awareness 12

Skill #1 Building Awareness of Your Defaults 13

Skill #2 Identifying Reactivity 20

Skill #3 Learning to Interrupt Reactivity 24

Skill #4 Stopping Distorted Thinking 30

Skill #5 Managing Tough Emotions with Discernment 37

2 Talking 43

Skill #6 Creating a Secure Space for Vulnerability 37

Skill #7 Moving from Judgment to Curiosity 49

Skill #8 Practicing Gratitude to Deepen Emotional Intimacy 53

Skill #9 Recognizing Unresolvable Conflicts 58

Skill #10 Giving the Benefit of the Doubt 62

3 Listening 65

Skill #11 Establishing Emotional Consent 66

Skill #12 Building Emotional Literacy 71

Skill #13 Developing Empathetic Communication Skills 73

Skill #14 Separating Thoughts from Feelings 77

Skill #15 Following Up 80

4 Accountability & repair 82

Skill #16 Shifting from Blame to Personal Accountability 83

Skill #17 Understanding Your Conflict Dance 87

Skill #18 Circling Back to Repair Misunderstanding 92

Skill #19 Making an Apology that Counts 94

Skill #20 Building Trust by Following Through 99

5 Trust & intimacy 103

Skill #21 Building Safety for Intimacy 104

Skill #22 Cultivating Physical Intimacy 107

Skill #23 Emotional, Spiritual, & Intellectual Intimacy 111

Skill #24 Nourishing Functional or Familial Intimacy 114

Skill #25 Identifying Intimacy Needs in Relationships 117

6 Healthy boundaries 120

Skill #26 Recognizing When Boundaries Need Work 121

Skill #27 Differentiating Among Wants, Needs, & Requirements 123

Skill #28 Asking for What You Need 126

Skill #29 Moving Toward, Away, & Against 128

Skill #30 Using a Mindful Approach to Conflict 131

Part 2 Relationship Issues 134

7 Intimacy 135

Issue #1 Diminished Desire 137

Issue #2 No Sex 140

Issue #3 Sharing New Sexual Fantasies 143

Issue #4 Desire Fatigue 146

Issue #5 Bad Sex 149

8 Career 151

Issue #6 Personal Purpose Clarity 152

Issue #7 Career & Legacy 155

Issue #8 Professional Purpose 157

Issue #9 Visioning & Long-Range Plans 161

Issue #10 Transparency, Honesty, & Trust 164

Issue #11 Changing Plans 167

9 Finances 170

Issue #12 Financial Upbringing 171

Issue #13 Decision-Making & Power with Money 174

Issue #14 Household Contribution 177

10 Family 180

Issue #15 In-Laws & Family Norms 181

Issue #16 Boundaries with Family 184

Issue #17 Information Sharing & Privacy 187

Issue #18 Differing Social Needs 190

Issue #19 Reaffirming the Couple Bubble 193

11 Home 196

Issue #20 Default Responsibilities 197

Issue #21 Never Checking In or Updating Processes 200

Issue #22 No Accountability or Follow-Through 203

Issue #23 Request Expectation Management 206

Issue #24 Building Resentments 209

12 Friendships & other people 212

Issue #25 No Autonomy 213

Issue #26 Isolation 216

Issue #27 Jealousy 219

Issue #28 Insecurity 222

Issue #29 Infidelity 225

Conclusion 231

Appendix 232

References 235

Index 236

Acknowledgments 245

About the Author 246

Editorial Reviews

"Gina is skilled at offering practical information with warmth and compassion. She's taken a large topic and broken it down into easy-to-understand steps and practices that you can apply to your own life right now. Love More, Fight Less is an essential resource for anyone wanting deeper connection (and less conflict) in their relationship." —Julie Jeske, LMFT, Cohost of Swoon Podcast

"Hands down, this is the most accessible book I’ve come across for anyone in a relationship that wants to improve their communication. Perfect for new relationships that want to build trust and excellent for older relationships that want to deepen connectivity. If you ever wanted a relationship expert to hold your hand through difficult conversations with your partner, this book is a must-buy. It’s a treasure trove of easy-to-implement activities and conversations that we all should have learned in high school." —Jeff Guenther, LPC, TherapyDen

"I've enjoyed using this resource with clients in my couples counseling practice. The activities for building trust are really helpful, and I absolutely love the fact that this book talks about consent to speak and listen before even getting to sex. I hope to use Love More, Fight Less as a text in my classroom this fall." —Catherine Nyhan, LPC Counseling Supervisor at Portland State University

From the Publisher