Love Talk Workbook for Men: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before

Love Talk Workbook for Men: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before


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Love Talk Workbook for Men: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before by Les and Leslie Parrott, Leslie L. Parrott, Leslie Parrott

A breakthrough discovery in communication for transforming love relationships Over and over couples consistently name “improved communication” as the greatest need in their relationships. Love Talk—by acclaimed relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott—is a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships. The first steps to improving this single most important factor in any marriage or love relationship are to identify your fear factors and determine your personal communication styles, and then learn how the two of you can best interact. In this no-nonsense book, “psychobabble” is translated into easy-to-understand language that clearly teaches you what you need to do—and not do—for speaking each other’s language like you never have before. • The Secret to Emotional Connection • Charts and sample conversations • The most important conversation you’ll ever have • A short course on Communication 101 • Appendix on Practical Help for the “Silent Partner” Two softcover ”his and hers” workbooks are full of lively exercises and enlightening self-tests that help couples apply what they are learning about communication directly to their relationships. Love Talk is also available as an abridged Audio Pages® CD.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780310262121
Publisher: Zondervan
Publication date: 10/01/2004
Pages: 80
Sales rank: 641,949
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.25(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are #1 New York Times bestselling authors and founders of the revolutionary Deep Love Assessment. Their bestselling books include Crazy Good Sex, The Good Fight, Love Like That, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. They have appeared on CNN, Today Show, Good Morning America, The View, and Oprah. They live with their two sons in Seattle.

Read an Excerpt

Love Talk Workbook for Men
Someone once said that the achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it. We certainly agree with that. But long before a commitment to a goal is made, one must thoroughly understand his goal. So in this first exercise we challenge you to drill down deep on this thought. We want you to give serious consideration to where you would like to be as a result of completing Love Talk.We have a few ways, right off the top, to help you do just that.
Begin by perusing the following list of potential goals as they relate to communication. Circle any and all that pertain to you. Of course, jot down the goal you may have that is not in this list.
* Be a better listener.
* Stay on point.
* Don't finish my partner's sentences.
* Curb my emotions when talking.
* Be more sensitive to my partner's feelings.
* Think clearly before speaking.
* Avoid jumping to conclusions.
* Tune in to and discern my partner's emotions.
* Maintain eye contact while talking.
* Be more vulnerable.
* Be more comfortable with conflict.
* Speak with more clarity.
* Invite and receive feedback.
* Use more humor.
* Come across personally warmer.
* Express more genuine interest.
* Be more assertive with my needs.
* Better assess when to talk.
* Don't jump to conclusions.
Once you have circled the ones that pertain to you, note a specific time and place where you'd like to see that improvement. For example, if you circled 'Be a better listener,' you may write next to it that you'd like to do that when your partner is talking about her day at work or maybe when she is talking about her mother. The point is to be specific so you can actually recognize and measure your improvement on this goal. So go back to this list now and write something beside the items you circled to make them more specific.
Next, consider the following five realms of communication and indicate on each of the scales where you see yourself on it. Be thoughtful and honest as you answer.
Information Sharing: Stating your thoughts and feelings with accuracy and clarity without getting sidetracked or embroiled in emotion.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Listening: Paying respectful attention to the content and feelings of another in a way that they know they have been accurately understood.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Conflict management: Being aware of conflict and employing methods to diffuse it and move beyond it.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Problem solving: Working out effective steps with one another to effectively and efficiently reach a desired state.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Skill selection: Determining which communication skills are most useful at specific times.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Once you have rated yourself on each of these five scales, you may want to have your partner rate you on these same items. This can heighten your self-awareness as you begin to articulate your communication goals.
Finally, in this exercise, write down two or three specific goals. Consider what you have done in the above exercise. Be specific. The more specific the better.
Goal 1: __________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
Goal 2: __________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
Goal 3: __________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
Exercise 1: Getting Where You Want to Go K 9
Now that you have put your specific goals in writing, be aware of the huge step you have just taken. Only a very small percentage of people put their goals in writing---but those who do are more than twice as likely to reach them as those who just talk about them. And what's more, those who review their goals from time to time are ten times more likely to achieve them. So throughout Love Talk, we recommend that you revisit the goals to see how what you have just learned is bringing you closer to them.
Congratulations! You are off to a great start.

Table of Contents

A Letter to Our Readers5
1Getting Where You Want to Go7
2Assessing Your Communication IQ11
3Your Current Couple-Communication Strengths13
4Let's Get Real17
5Finding the Time to Talk21
6Your Three Levels of Communication23
7Avoiding Unwanted Advice25
8Identifying Your Personal Fear Factor27
9Identifying Your Talk Style29
10The Head/Heart Self-Test31
11The Empathy Exercise37
12Speaking Her Language39
13Do You Hear What She Hears?43
14Reading Your Partner's Body Language45
15I Want to Read Your Mind49
16Is It Time to Clam Up?51
17Enough Advice Already!53
18Tuning In to Your Self-Talk55
19Testing Your Respect Levels61
20Talking from Your Strengths65
Small Group Discussion Guide67

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