Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way: A Novel

by Bruce Campbell

Overview

"This approach generates some of the most witty showbiz lunacy since This Is Spinal Tap."

—-Sacramento News & Review

What you're reading right now is known as the "flap copy." This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book are cooked down to fit this space. But how does one do that? Do you reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing finger and shouts, "The killer is Mr. Potter"?

I have too much respect for you as an attention-deficient consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But let's not play games here. You picked up the book already, so you either:

A. Know who I am

B. Liked the cool smoking jacket I'm wearing on the cover

C. Have just discovered that the bookstore restroom is out of toilet paper

Is it a sequel to my autobiography If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor? Sadly, no, which made it much harder to write. According to my publisher, I haven't "done" enough since 2001 to warrant another memoir.

Is it an "autobiographical novel"? Yes. I'm the lead character in the story, and I'm a real person, and everything in the book actually happened, except for the stuff that didn't.

The action revolves around my preparations for a pivotal role in the A-list relationship film Let's Make Love! But my Homeric attempt to break through the glass ceiling of B-grade genre fare is hampered by a vengeful studio executive and a production that becomes infected by something called the "B movie virus," symptoms of which include excessive use of cheesy special effects, slapstick, and projectile vomiting.

From a violent fistfight with a Buddhist to a life-altering stint in federal prison, this novel has it all. And if the 72,444 words are too time-consuming, there are lots and lots of cool graphics.

Regards,

Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell

Praise for Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way

"It's a great, goofy what-if."

—-Entertainment Weekly

"Ultimately, Make Love is a Bruce Campbell novel, starring Bruce Campbell, written for Bruce Campbell fans for whom Bruce Campbell can do no wrong. They'll no doubt find Campbell's latest endeavor nothing short of—-to quote one of his most famous characters—-groovy."

—-The Onion

"One of the most delightfully deranged experiences you'll have reading this year. Hail to the king, baby."

—-Rue Morgue

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780312312619
Publisher:	St. Martin's Publishing Group
Publication date:	08/22/2006
Edition description:	First Edition
Pages:	368
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.82(d)

About the Author

Bruce Campbell is the ultimate “B” actor with an ever-growing fan base.  In addition to starring in the huge cult hit Evil Dead series and a series of independent genre films, he has had featured roles in the film Bubba Ho-Tep, the Spider-man movies, the blockbuster Congo, the award-winning independent crime drama Running Time, and Paramount’s romantic comedy Serving Sara. 

Bruce has also done a lot of television work, including appearances in Disney’s TV movies Gold Rush and their update of The Love Bug, and has also starred in the highly touted Fox series The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. Bruce then appeared as a recurring guest star on the hit shows Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess, Ellen, and Showtime’s edgy TV industry comedy Beggars and Choosers.  

Bruce Campbell is also the author of the bestselling books If Chins Could Kill and Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way.

Editorial Reviews

Satire and sharp one-liners are the engines powering low-budget movie hero Campbell's (If Chins Could Kill) first autobiographical novel, a funny, breezy, high-camp affair. After dispensing B-movie witticisms on romance and navigating love scenes, Sci-Fi channel schlock film actor "Bruce Campbell" is unexpectedly offered the A-list role of a "wise-cracking doorman" and "emotional lynchpin" in the new Mike Nichols romantic comedy Let's Make Love, starring Richard Gere and Renee Zellweger. After getting fully immersed in calamitous role research at the Waldorf-Astoria, Campbell postures (and annoys) his way through the first read-through with indifferent cast members, runs lines with a timid Gere, crassly advises Zellweger on how to accentuate her bust line, dishes ex-husbands with Liz Taylor and berates the film's director of photography, Oscar-winning Vilmos Zsigmond (whose name Campbell spells Sigmund). After a Secret Service ambush and more movie set mayhem, Campbell's A-List luck finally runs out. But not even a bumbling S.W.A.T. team can stop this determined day player from getting his due. Campbell knows of what he writes, and this endless barrage of extreme silliness obviously spoofs (and quite possibly mirrors) a frenzied acting career made up of equal parts exasperation and hilarity. Agent, Jodi Reamer at Writers House. (June 13) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Publishers Weekly

A rollicking spoof by B-list actor Campbell, hero of the Evil Dead series, who attempts to rise above his station and wreaks havoc in the bargain. There is a B-list, and there is the A-list, and never the twain shall meet, especially for the fellow who, like the author, just happens to be named Bruce Campbell, a man who ostensibly romances leading women but really "hoards Victoria's Secret catalogs" and is otherwise a bit of a nebbish. Bizarrely, as if in an alternate-universe setup from one of the myriad Sci-Fi channel shows on which Campbell can be seen, Mike Nichols requests him to play the role of a wisecracking doorman in his next film, a hip update of Let's Make Love, with Renee Zellweger and Richard Gere in the place of Marilyn Monroe and Yves Montand. Campbell dutifully appears on location, layers his lines with a hammy backstory of his own concoction and amazes his fellow actors by his very presence. Things get better, and soon Campbell, secret agent of schlock, is running his lines with Richard Gere, coaching Renee's costume designer and the star herself in B-tricks for accentuating breasts and bottom, and even outing the great cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond (not Sigmund, as Campbell has it) as the filmic force behind long-forgotten embarrassments such as Psycho a Go-Go and Wild and Willing. Enter, as the story unfolds, the likes of Robert Evans and Jack Nicholson (who's contemplating capping off Chinatown, about water, and The Two Jakes, about oil, with a film about vinegar), and the A-world begins to take on deeper shades of B. The story takes silly twists-well, sillier than what's come before-as Campbell eludes SWAT team shooters and feds before winding up in the slam,where, "with a little ingenuity and two cartons of Kool Extras, I worked my way up to cleaning executive offices." Scratch the willing suspension of disbelief. But never mind: this is good fun, and lots of it. And besides, anyone who allows that Carrot Top's agent is Satan is all right.

Kirkus Reviews