Marriage Triggers: Exchanging Spouses' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

by Amber Lia, Guy Lia

Overview

Foreword by Dave and Ashley Willis, authors of The Naked Marriage and hosts of The Naked Marriage Podcast

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and applying God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

Many couples know their marriage has room for improvement, but it is hard to pinpoint exactly why a relationship is suffering. Often times everyday triggers are the culprit. If you are wondering how to break out of the cycle of reactionary outbursts, cold shoulders, resentment, and pain that harms your relationship, you are not alone. Experiencing peace and joy rather than anger and frustration is not as hard as you think!

Marriage Triggers walks you through thirty-one of the most common marital issues that sabotage great relationships, like poor communication, lack of spiritual leadership, busy schedules, and different parenting styles. Married for fourteen years, authors Amber and Guy Lia are your typical couple and they share tips for countering negative reactions to triggers with gentle, biblical responses.

Rather than run from the things that cause conflict, Amber and Guy believe these triggers are opportunities for growth, both individually and as a couple. They challenge you to let Marriage Triggers renew your commitment to responding gently and biblically towards your partner.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781982127916
Publisher:	Howard Books
Publication date:	01/28/2020
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	436,127
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.38(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

A former high school English teacher, Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom of four little boys. She is the bestselling coauthor of Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, say Something New. She and her husband Guy own Storehouse Media Group, a faith-friendly and family-friendly TV and film production company in Los Angeles, California. When she’s not building sand castles with her boys on the beach, or searching for Nerf darts all over her house, you can find Amber writing to encourage families on her blog at MotherofKnights.com.

Guy Lia lives in Los Angeles, California, with his wife of fifteen years, Amber Lia, and their four boys, black lab, and two cats. A former TV development executive, Guy is now the co-owner of the values-based, family and faith friendly TV and film production company, Storehouse Media Group, and he is the cowriter of the book, Marriage Triggers: Exchanging Spouses Angry Reactions with Gentle Biblical Responses.

Table of Contents

Foreword Dave Ashley Willis ix

Introduction Amber xiii

Section 1 External Triggers

Chapter 1 When You Married Mr. Wrong or Ms. All Wrong (Amber) 3

Chapter 2 When the House Is a Mess (Amber) 9

Chapter 3 When You Are Married to a Backseat Driver (Guy) 16

Chapter 4 When Finances Cause You to Clash (Amber) 23

Chapter 5 When Life Gets Too Busy (Amber) 30

Chapter 6 When You Need to Pray Together (Amber) 38

Chapter 7 When In-laws Cause Friction (Guy) 44

Chapter 8 When Your Life Looks Different Than You Thought It Would (Amber) 50

Chapter 9 When You Parent Differently (Guy) 58

Chapter 10 When an Idol Makes Three in Your Marriage (Amber) 66

Chapter 11 When Sex Is Missing from Your Marriage (Amber) 74

Chapter 12 When You or Your Spouse Is Sick or Injured (Guy) 79

Chapter 13 When Your Roles Are Not Defined (Amber) 85

Chapter 14 When Your Spouse Is Having an Emotional Affair (Amber) 94

Chapter 15 When There Is No Spiritual Leader (Guy) 102

Chapter 16 When Your Spouse Is Dishonest (Amber) 109

Section 2 Internal Triggers

Chapter 17 When You Feel Misunderstood and Lonely (Amber) 117

Chapter 18 When You Are Weary and Exhausted (Amber) 126

Chapter 19 When Your Marriage Ebbs and Flows (Amber) 132

Chapter 20 When You Are No Longer Friends (Guy) 140

Chapter 21 When Communication Is Broken (Amber) 146

Chapter 22 When One of You Needs an Attitude Adjustment (Amber) 155

Chapter 23 When You Need a Vision for Your Marriage (Guy) 162

Chapter 24 When Your Personalities Clash (Amber) 169

Chapter 25 When You Need to Know That God Sees You in Your Triggered Marriage (Amber) 175

Chapter 26 When Your Upbringings Were Different (Amber) 184

Chapter 27 When Your Family Needs You but You Want Alone Time (Guy) 192

Chapter 28 When You Don't Feel Loved (Amber) 199

Chapter 29 When Past Wounds Surface (Amber) 206

Chapter 30 When Your Feelings Are Hurt (Guy) 214

Chapter 31 When Your Marriage Needs a Do-Over (Amber) 219

Acknowledgments 229

Notes 233

Editorial Reviews

‘But how do we stop fighting?’ A question we, as marriage mentors, are often asked. Guy and Amber Lia have an answer! With a refreshing transparent and biblical approach, Marriage Triggers is an amazing resource to help you discover practical ways to exchange anger for kindness and conflict for peace. This book will help you and your spouse discover: you’re not alone in your struggle, how to resolve conflict without shouting, ways to re-establish friendship in marriage, hope for real happiness—and so much more! Well done, Guy and Amber. In a world desperate for answers, I pray your biblically sound message transforms marriages to joyfully reflect God’s love, joy, hope, and peace.” —Rhonda Stoppe, “No Regrets Woman,” author of six books, including The Marriage Mentor: Becoming the Couple You Long to Be

“From the day we published Triggers for parents, Amber and I have received hundreds, if not thousands, of requests from husbands and wives asking for this book! How wonderful that the Lias took up the challenge! Together, they offer biblical insight into our marriages’ most common triggers and give us practical application so that we might learn to respond with gentleness and love rather than bitterness and strife. Even if you don’t struggle with big, explosive anger, recognizing these common triggers will safeguard your marriage and help you grow in your communication skills as husband and wife. Truly. If you knew that your marriage could be transformed through the reading of this book, wouldn’t you do it? Well, it can! So grab a copy of the book and grab your spouse today.” —Wendy Speake, co-author with Amber Lia of Triggers and Parenting Scripts, and author of The 40-Day Sugar Fast

“Marriage Triggers is a must-have resource for any couple who desires a thriving marriage. With a well-balanced approach, Guy and Amber give your marriage a fighting chance by addressing triggers that threaten to divide you. Confront angry patterns with grace-infused conversations as you move toward a healthier, hope-filled relationship.” —Adam Reid, lead pastor at Central Church and Katie M. Reid, author of Made Like Martha and co-hosts of the live marriage show Stop! Hammock Time

"In today's world full of stress with couples bringing dysfunction and baggage into their marriage, EVERY Couple needs to know proven tools and tips for handling the triggers that so often pop up in EVERY relationship. We know Guy and Amber Lia, they are top-notch relationship coaches and their wisdom is just what EVERY couple needs to keep love alive." —Pam and Bill Farrel, authors of 50 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti

"I love this book! The Lias have put their finger on the pulse of the most difficult issues of most marriages and then given us inspiration and practical ways to cultivate a more mature and peaceful partnership. Filled to the brim with stories and examples that bring sympathy to our own struggles, and yet, the chapters leave us with very practical and insightful ways forward. You will leave this book empowered to grow in communication with your spouse.” —Sally Clarkson, bestselling author of The Lifegiving Home

“Marriage is rarely what we expect, but it is good because God says it is good. So how do we protect what is precious in God’s eyes? Leaving no stone unturned, Guy and Amber dive deep into the common issues that plague couples everywhere. Their transparency and practical advice is a breath of fresh air. Marriage Triggers reminds us we aren’t alone and gives us the courage to fight for the marriage we’ve always dreamed of. And the one God wants for us.” —Patrick and Ruth Schwenk, founders of TheBetterLifeMinistry.com, and authors of For Better or for Kids and Faith Forward Family Devotional

From the Publisher

"Marriage is rarely what we expect, but it is good because God says it is good. So how do we protect what is precious in God’s eyes? Leaving no stone unturned, Guy and Amber dive deep into the common issues that plague couples everywhere. Their transparency and practical advice is a breath of fresh air. Marriage Triggers reminds us we aren't alone and gives us the courage to fight for the marriage we've always dreamed of. And the one God wants for us."

authors of For Better or For Kids and Faith Forward Family Devotional - Patrick and Ruth Schwenk

"I love this book! The Lia's have put their finger on the pulse of the most difficult issues of most marriages and then given us inspiration and practical ways to cultivate a more mature and peaceful partnership. Filled to the brim with stories and examples that bring sympathy to our own struggles, and yet, the chapters leave us with very practical and insightful ways forward. You will leave this book empowered to grow in communication with your spouse.

bestselling author of The Lifegiving Home - Sally Clarkson

"In today's world full of stress with couples bringing dysfunction and baggage into their marriage, EVERY Couple needs to know proven tools and tips for handling the triggers that so often pop up in EVERY relationship. We know Guy and Amber Lia, they are top-notch relationship coaches and their wisdom is just what EVERY couple needs to keep love alive."

authors of 50 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti - Pam and Bill Farrel

Marriage Triggers is a must-have resource for any couple who desires a thriving marriage. With a well-balanced approach, Guy and Amber give your marriage a fighting chance by addressing triggers that threaten to divide you. Confront angry patterns with grace-infused conversations as you move toward a healthier, hope-filled relationship.

author of Made Like Martha and co-hosts of the live marriage show Stop! Hammock Time - Adam Reid

From the day we published Triggers for parents, Amber and I have received hundreds, if not thousands, of requests from husbands and wives asking for this book! How wonderful that the Lias took up the challenge! Together, they offer biblical insight into our marriages’ most common triggers and give us practical application so that we might learn to respond with gentleness and love rather than bitterness and strife. Even if you don’t struggle with big, explosive anger, recognizing these common triggers will safeguard your marriage and help you grow in your communication skills as husband and wife. Truly. If you knew that your marriage could be transformed through the reading of this book, wouldn’t you do it? Well, it can! So grab a copy of the book and grab your spouse today.

co-author with Amber Lia of Triggers and Parenting Scripts, and author of The 40-Day Sugar Fast - Wendy Speake

‘But how do we stop fighting?’ A question we, as marriage mentors, are often asked. Guy and Amber Lia have an answer! With a refreshing transparent and biblical approach, Marriage Triggers is an amazing resource to help you discover practical ways to exchange anger for kindness and conflict for peace. This book will help you and your spouse discover: you’re not alone in your struggle, how to resolve conflict without shouting, ways to re-establish friendship in marriage, hope for real happiness—and so much more! Well done Guy and Amber. In a world desperate for answers, I pray your biblically sound message transforms marriages to joyfully reflect God’s love, joy, hope, and peace.

author of The Marriage Mentor: Becoming the Couple You Long to Be - Rhonda Stoppe