Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction

Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction

by Caleb Kaltenbach


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Sometimes, grace gets messy.
Caleb Kaltenbach was raised by LGBT parents, marched in gay pride parades as a youngster, and experienced firsthand the hatred and bitterness of some Christians toward his family.
But then Caleb surprised everyone, including himself, by becoming a Christian…and a pastor.
Very few issues in Christianity are as divisive as the acceptance of the LGBT community in the church. As a pastor and as a person with beloved family members living a gay lifestyle, Caleb had to face this issue with courage and grace.
Messy Grace shows us that Jesus’s command to “love your neighbor as yourself” doesn’t have an exception clause for a gay “neighbor”—or for that matter, any other “neighbor” we might find it hard to relate to. Jesus was able to love these people and yet still hold on to his beliefs. So can you. Even when it’s messy.
“Messy Grace is an important contribution to the conversation about sexual identity for churches and leaders. Caleb's story is surprising and unique, and he weaves it together compellingly. He states his views clearly, leaves room for disagreement, and champions love no matter where you are in this conversation.”
—Jud Wilhite, Sr. Pastor, Central Christian Church

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781601427366
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Publication date: 10/20/2015
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 91,898
Product dimensions: 5.15(w) x 8.01(h) x 0.58(d)

About the Author

Caleb Kaltenbach is a pastor who speaks widely on issues of faith, reconciliation, and sexual diversity. Caleb is a graduate of Talbot School of Theology (Biola University) and received his doctorate from Dallas Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Amy, have two young children and reside in southern California.

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Excerpted from "Messy Grace"
by .
Copyright © 2015 Caleb Kaltenbach.
Excerpted by permission of The Crown Publishing Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Foreword Kyle Idleman xi

1 A Collision of Communities 1

2 Saying Yes to the Mess 18

3 The Right Kind of Pursuit 36

4 Us Versus Them? 50

5 The Power of Touch 63

6 No Compromise 75

7 The Marriage of Grace and Truth 97

8 Choose Your Relationship 115

9 Another Way 129

10 A Messy Church 151

11 Truth to Tel! 169

12 A New ID 185

A Final Word 202

Acknowledgments 204

Notes 208

More Reading 210

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Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Thank you for so clearly showing what compassion without compromise looks like. I applaud this book highly!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Convicted me even as a heterosexual.
Kassie17 More than 1 year ago
As humans, I think that it is a very difficult thing to love like Jesus loved. Jesus loves selflessly, and humans are naturally selfish. Jesus loves to serve people, and humans are naturally greedy. Jesus loves unconditionally and humans are conditional. We were born with the natural ability to love ourselves first. That's why grace and mercy are so important. God has so much of both of these. Grace is the free and unmerited favor of God. Mercy is compassion and forgiveness shown to someone whom it is in ones power to harm or punish. Both of these definitions make me stop and really try to fathom the beautiful God we serve. Mercy, however, is something that I just can't wrap my mind around. God has mercy for us. He knows what selfish, greedy people we are, and yet he has compassion for us. He forgives us. Why? Because He is a loving God. And because of His grace and His mercy, we are able to love others in the same ways that He loves us. We love because God loves us. We extend mercy because we have been given mercy (that none of us deserve). So why does the Christian world have such a hard time loving certain people? For instance, the LGBT community. Whether we consider ourselves a part of it or not, the Christian faith has had a bad name with the LGBT community. They tend to be cold and hateful toward Christians because many Christians have been cold and hateful toward them. As Caleb Kaltenbach explains in his book, Messy Grace, Christians and the LGBT community have a lot in common. They just dont realize it because they are too busy hating each other. Kaltenbach's book is a book written for Christians and the LGBT community alike. It is a call to love others like Jesus loves us. As a pastor with gay parents, Kaltenbach has had experience in both worlds, and this book talks of how he has learned to love without sacrificing his convictions. It is truly a book that should be read by all people, especially Christians. Its time for us to get in the Word, see what the Bible really says, and stop hating people because they make you uncomfortable. Let's love like Jesus loves. I received this book free from To learn more about this book or the author (which I highly recommend you do), click here.