Mucho Mojo (Hap Collins and Leonard Pine Series #2)

Mucho Mojo (Hap Collins and Leonard Pine Series #2)

by Joe R. Lansdale


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780307455390
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Publication date: 01/06/2009
Series: Hap Collins and Leonard Pine Series , #2
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 219,371
Product dimensions: 5.19(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.69(d)

About the Author

Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over thirty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in eighteen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies.

Lansdale has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others.

A major motion picture based on Lansdale's crime thriller Cold in July was released in May 2014, starring Michael C. Hall (Dexter), Sam Shepard (Black Hawk Down), and Don Johnson (Miami Vice). His novella Bubba Hotep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror." He is currently co-producing a TV series, "Hap and Leonard" for the Sundance Channel and films including The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero.

Lansdale is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Read an Excerpt

1.It was July and hot and I was putting out sticks and not thinking one whit about murder.All the other rose-field jobs are bad, the budding, the digging, but putting out sticks, that's the job they give sinners in Hell.You do sticks come dead of summer. Way it works is they give you this fistful of bud wood, and you take that and sigh and turn and look down the length of the field, which goes on from where you are to some place east of China, and you gird your loins, bend over, and poke those sticks in the rows a bit apart. You don't lift up if you don't have to, 'cause otherwise you'll never finish. You keep your back bent and you keep on poking, right on down that dusty row, hoping eventually it'll play out, though it never seems to, and of course that East Texas sun, which by 10:30 A.M. is like an infected blister leaking molten pus, doesn't help matters.So I was out there playing with my sticks, thinking the usual thoughts about ice tea and sweet, willing women, when the Walking Boss came up and tapped me on the shoulder.I thought maybe it was water break, but when I looked up he jerked a thumb toward the end of the field, said, "Hap, Leonard's here.""He can't come to work," I said. "Not unless he can put out sticks with his cane.""Just wants to see you," the Walking Boss said, and moved away.I poked in the last stick from my bundle, eased my back straight, and started down the center of the long dusty row, passing the bent, sweaty backs of the others as I went.I could see Leonard at the far end of the field, leaning on his cane. From that distance, he looked as if he were made of pipe cleaners and doll clothes. His raisin-black face was turned in my direction and a heat wave jumped off of it and vibrated in the bright light and dust from the field swirled momentarily in the wave and settled slowly.When Leonard saw I was looking in his direction, his hand flew up like a grackle taking flight.Vernon Lacy, my field boss, known affectionately to me as the Old Bastard though he was my age, decked out in starched white shirt, white pants, and tan pith helmet, saw me coming too. He came alongside Leonard and looked at me and made a slow and deliberate mark in his little composition book. Docking my time, of course.When I got to the end of the row, which only took a little less time than a trek across Egypt on a dead camel, I was dust covered and tired from trudging in the soft dirt. Leonard grinned, said, "Just wanted to know if you could loan me fifty cents.""You made me walk all the way here for fifty cents, I'm gonna see I can fit that cane up your ass.""Let me grease up first, will you?"Lacy looked over and said, "You're docked, Collins.""Go to hell," I said.Lacy swallowed and walked away and didn't look back."Smooth," Leonard said."I pride myself on diplomacy. Now tell me it isn't fifty cents you want.""It isn't fifty cents I want."Leonard was still grinning, but the grin shifted slightly to one side, like a boat about to take water and sink."What's wrong, buddy?""My Uncle Chester," Leonard said. "He passed."I followed Leonard's old Buick in my pickup, stopping long enough along the way to buy some beer and ice. When we arrived at Leonard's place, we got an ice chest and filled it with the ice and the beer and carried it out to the front porch.Leonard, like myself, didn't have air-conditioning, and the front porch was as cool a spot as we could find, unless we went down to the creek and laid in it.We eased into the rickety porch swing and sat the ice chest between us. While Leonard moved the swing with his good leg, I popped us a couple."Happen today?" I asked."They found him today. Been dead two or three days. Heart attack. They got him at the LaBorde Funeral Home, pumped full of juice."Leonard sipped his beer and studied the barbed-wire fence on the opposite side of the road. "See that mockingbird on the fence post, Hap?""Why? Is he trying to get my attention?""He's a fat one. You don't see many that fat.""I wonder about that all the time, Leonard. How come mockingbirds don't normally get fat. Thought I might write a paper on it.""My uncle's favorite bird. I always thought they were ugly, but he thought they were the grandest things in the world. He used to call me his little mockingbird when I was a kid because I mocked him and everybody else. I see one, I think of him. Hokey, huh?"I didn't say anything. I focused my eyes on the floorboards at the edge of the porch, watched as a hot horsefly staggered on its disease-laden legs, trying to make the little bit of shade the porch roof provided. The fly faltered and stopped. Heatstroke, I figured."I want to go to Uncle Chester's funeral tomorrow," Leonard said. "But I don't know. I feel funny about it. He probably wouldn't want me there.""From what you've told me about Uncle Chester, spite of the fact he disowned you when he found out you were queer—" "Gay. We say gay now, Hap. You straights need to learn that. When we're real drunk, we call each other fags or faggots.""Whatever. I'm sure, in his own way, Chester was a good guy. You loved him. It doesn't matter what he would have wanted. What matters is what you want. He's dead. He's not making decisions anymore. You want to go to the funeral and tell him 'bye because of the good things you remember about him, go on.""Come with me.""Hey, I'm sorry for Uncle Chester on account of what he meant to you, but I don't know him from brown rice. Fact is, him dying, you coming around upset, and me leaving the rose fields like that, I figure 1 don't have a job anymore. He screwed up my income, so why the hell would I want to go to his funeral?""Because I want you to and you're my friend and you don't want to hurt my teeny-weeny feelings."This was true.I didn't like it, but I agreed. Going to a funeral seemed harmless enough.2.Funeral was the next day at three in the afternoon, so early next morning we drove to LaBorde in Leonard's car and over to J. C. Penney's.We went there to buy suits, something neither Leonard or I had owned in years. My last suit had had a Nehru collar and a peace symbol about the size of an El Dorado hubcap on a chain a little smaller than you might need to tow a butane truck. Leonard's last suit had been designed by the military. Suits from Penney's didn't come with a vest and two pairs of pants anymore, least not the decent ones, and the prices were higher than I remembered. I thought perhaps we ought to go over to Kmart, see if they had something in sheen green.Something we got tired of wearing, we could use to upholster a chair.I ended up with a dark blue suit and a light blue shirt and a dark blue tie. I bought black shoes, socks, and a belt. I tried the stuff on and looked at myself in the mirror. I thought I looked silly. Like a tall, biped pit bull in mourning.Leonard bought a dark green Western-cut suit, a canary-yellow shirt, and a tie striped up in orange and green and yellow. Shoes he got were black with pointy toes and zippers down the side. Kind of shoes you hoped they stopped making about the time the Dave Clark Five quit making records."You're gonna bury Uncle Chester," I said. "Not take him on a Caribbean cruise. Show up in that, he might jump out of the box and throw a blanket over you.""Jealousy is an ugly thing, Hap.""You're right. I wish I looked like a head-on collision between Dolly Parton and Peter Max."We changed back into our clothes, and I paid up because I was the only one working these days, even if it was sporadically, and because Leonard never let me forger it was my fault his leg was messed up. He'd say stuff like, "You know I got this leg messed up on account of you," then he'd pick something he wanted and I'd pay for it, because what he said was true. Wasn't for him, my funeral would have come before Uncle Chester's.The services were in a little community on the outskirts of LaBorde, and after we went home and hung our awhile, we put the suits on and drove over in Leonard's wreck with no air-conditioning.Time we got to the Baptist church where the funeral was being held, we had sweated up good in our new suits, and the hot wind blowing on me made my hair look as if it had been combed with a bush hog. My overall appearance was of someone who had been in a fight and lost.I got out of the car and Leonard came around and said, "You still got the fucking tag hanging on you."I lifted an arm and there was the tag, dangling from the suit sleeve. I felt like Minnie Pearl. Leonard got out his pocket knife and cut it off and we went inside the church.We paraded by the open coffin, and of course, Uncle Chester hadn't missed his chance to be guest of honor. He was one ugly sonofabitch, and I figured alive he hadn't looked much better. He wasn't very tall, but he was wide, and being dead a few days before they found him hadn't helped his looks any. The mortician had only succeeded in making him look a bit like a swollen Cabbage Patch Doll.After the eulogies and prayers and singing and people falling over the coffin and crying whether they wanted to or nor, we drove out to a little cemetery in the woods and the coffin was unloaded from an ancient black hearse with a sticker on the back bumper that read BINGO FOR GOD.Underneath a striped tent, with the hot wind blowing, we stood next to an open grave and the ceremony went on. There was a kind of thespian quality about the whole thing. The only one who seemed to be truly upset was Leonard. He wasn't saying anything, and he's too macho to cry in public, but I knew him. I saw the way his hands shook, the tilt of his mouth, the hooding of his eyes."It's a nice enough place to get put down," I whispered to Leonard."You're dead, you're dead," Leonard said. "You told me that. It's a thing takes the edge off how you feel about your surroundings.""Right. Fuck Uncle Chester. Let's talk fashion. You'll note no one else here looks like a black fag Roy Rogers but you."That got a smile out of him.During the preacher's generic marathon tribute to Uncle Chester, I spent some time looking at a pretty black woman in a short, tight black dress standing near us. She, like Leonard, was one of the few not trying out for the Academy Awards. She didn't look particularly sad, but she was solemn. Now and then she turned and looked at Leonard. I couldn't tell if he noticed. A heterosexual would have noticed if there was anything romantic in her attitude or nor. It can't be helped. A heterosexual dick senses a pretty woman, no matter what the cultural and social training of its owner, and it'll always point true north. Or maybe it's south, now that I think about it.The preacher finished up a prayer slightly longer than the complete set of the Encyclopedia Britannica and signaled to lower the coffin.A long lean guy with his hand on the device that lowers the coffin pushed the lever and the coffin started down, wobbled, righted itself. Someone in the audience let out a sob and went quiet. A woman in front of me, wearing a hat with everything on it but fresh fruit and a strand of barbed wire, shook and let our a wail and waved a hanky.A moment later it was all over except for the grave diggers throwing dirt in the hole.There was some hand-shaking and talking, and most of the crowd came over and spoke to Leonard and said how sorry they were, looked at me out of the corners of their eyes, suspicious because I was white, or maybe because they assumed I was Leonard's lover. It was bad enough they had a relative or acquaintance who was queer, but shit, looked like he was fucking a white guy.We were invited, not with great enthusiasm, to a gathering of friends and family, but Leonard passed, and the crowd faded out. The pretty woman in black came over and smiled at Leonard and shook his hand and said she was sorry."I'm Florida Grange. I was your uncle's lawyer, Mr. Pine," she said. "Guess I still am. You're in the will. I'll make it official if you'll come by my office tomorrow. Here's my card. And here's the key to his house. You get that and some money."Leonard took the key and card and stood there looking stunned. I said, "Hello, Miss Grange, my name's Hap Collins.""Hello," she said, and shook my hand."You know my uncle well?" Leonard asked."No. Not really," Florida Grange said, and she went away, and so did we.

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Mucho Mojo (Hap Collins and Leonard Pine Series #2) 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 13 reviews.
BBWG More than 1 year ago
A good friend of mine, a poet, said I should read this guy for a lot of reasons. I put it off for nearly a year. That was a mistake. This guy can write. If I can carry out dialog like this, I will have accomplished something. I know these guys; I've met them in all kinds of strange places: in the military, in schools, in factories, on farms, in carnivals. Never have there been two guys that don't seem to go together more and yet you know by the end of the story that there is a rare and precious thing between them. Don't miss this. I'm reading all of Joe R. Lansdale now.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The third novel in the ¿Hap Collins/Leonard Pine¿ series by Joe R. Lansdale is MUCHO MOJO. The title basically translates into ¿very bad magic¿ or ¿evil,¿ while the story itself deals with the actual evil that human beings are capable of perpetrating. The novel begins when Leonard¿s Uncle Chester passes away and leaves his house and a hundred thousand dollars to his nephew. Leonard decides to stay in his late uncle¿s house in order to fix it up and talks Hap into moving in with him to help with the repairs. Everything is running smoothly until they rip up some old floorboards and discover a trunk beneath the house that has the bones of a murdered child in it, along with magazines of kiddy porn. At first they think that Uncle Chester was the culprit who killed the child, but as they probe deeper into the mystery it soon becomes apparent that LaBorde, Texas has a serial killer living within its midst¿a person who is still alive and has been killing children for the last nine years. If that isn¿t enough, next door to Leonard¿s new home is a crack house, occupied by drug dealers who don¿t particularly like their new neighbors, but do like selling drugs to kids. This has all of the makings of a keg of black powder ready to explode; and, when it does, you definitely don¿t want to be on the receiving end of Hap and Leonard¿s anger! Needless to say, the East Texas duo will have their hands full as they do battle on two different fronts, taking names, kicking butt, and driving stakes into the hearts of the human monsters that are killing LaBorde¿s children. MUCHO MOJO delivers the same powerful kick of fun and entertainment as the other books in this utterly addictive series, but there¿s much more to this novel than meets the eye. Hap and Leonard have dealt with bad people and bad situations throughout most of their lives. This time around, however, they get a taste of what pure evil is like and have to question their own belief system about life, God, and the nature of being human. Neither one of them will come away untouched by what they encounter, knowing deep within themselves that sometimes people become evil by the circumstances of their lives, while others are simply born that way. Whatever the reasons, these are dangerous predators that have to be taken out the hard way, even if it means becoming judge, jury, and executioner. Mr. Lansdale¿s writing is as smooth as melted butter being poured on hot popcorn, his skill at creating believable dialogue is matched only by Elmore Leonard and Stephen King, and his unique ability to weave a suspenseful story line with characters that live and breath the East Texas air is simply unmatched. Pick up any of the ¿Hap Collins/Leonard Pine¿ novels, and you will quickly find yourself addicted to the writings of this remarkable author. This is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for readers searching for that special kind of writer who, not only entertains us, but also causes us to think and question our own day-to-day living. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!
drakevaughn More than 1 year ago
Mucho Mojo is the second book in the Hap and Leonard series of crime novels. In typical Lansdale style, the tale is action-packed, thrilling, and delivers massive amounts of witty trash talk. The strength of the story is rooted in the charming touch-guy characters of Hap (a washed up former war protestor) and Leonard (a black gay Vietnam vet). Both are unique and quite entertaining, especially when contrasted against each other and Lansdale’s treatment of Leonard’s homosexuality is quite progressive for the time. The plot revolves around the death of Leonard’s uncle and evidence the duo discover in his basement which links the uncle to a series of ghastly sex crimes. Leonard is determined to clear his uncle’s name, leading them into a dark mystery. Outside of the fast paced action, the story is overshadowed by the characters and a bit predictable, though always fun. It is a quick read, full of hilarious banter, and perfect for Lansdale fans. 
datrappert on LibraryThing 8 months ago
One of the more effective entries in the Hap Collins/Leonard Pine series, but nice to see that Lansdale has branched out to more serious works that still preserve the essence of his incredible imagination.
mikedraper on LibraryThing 8 months ago
"Mucho Mojo" would be a good book to bring on vacation. The story moves along nicely and it has an interesting plot.Leonard Pine is surprised to learn that his uncle Chester has left him his home and $100,000. Leonard's feeling was that his uncle didn't approve of him because Leonard is gay.His friend, Hap Collins, is with him when they arrive at Leonard's uncle's home and find that drug dealers from the crack house next door are conducting their business on Leonard's uncle's porch.Leonard asks Hap to move in and help him fix the house. While they are doing this, they find the body of a young child in the basement, along with some coupons and photos of children in sex positions. At first, they think that Leonard's uncle must be a killer and child molester but after looking at the evidence, Leonard remembers that his uncle was a cop wanna be and they realize that he must have been searching for the killer and perhaps leaving a message before the dementia that wasbeginning, took his mind.The author brings up a number of important issues in this book. Leonard is a black man who is gay. Cap is a white man who is straight. We see how these men deal with each other and the respect they have for the other's differences. We also read about the problem of crack houses in the inner city and how this effects the children of the area. We also read of child abduction and pedophilia.The story is entertaining and the characters likable. The author has a talent for having his characters use dialog in a manner that makes it seem as if they are telling you the story while in the room with you.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Excellent yet again .
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you're familiar with Lansdale I don't have to tell you how good it is. If not, well, Lansdale is one of the best. Actually, he's a cut above the rest.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The narrative allowed one to visualize the action in the book plus the feelings of Hap & Leonard. A good read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If it wasnt for my new friend i would never have bought the first book. And now after reading the first book im now glued to this book series!!
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For the deputy. ~ Galeastar