Neither Here Nor There:: Travels in Europe

Neither Here Nor There:: Travels in Europe

by Bill Bryson


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Neither Here Nor There:: Travels in Europe by Bill Bryson

In the early seventies, Bill Bryson backpacked across Europe—in search of enlightenment, beer, and women. He was accompanied by an unforgettable sidekick named Stephen Katz (who will be gloriously familiar to readers of Bryson's A Walk in the Woods). Twenty years later, he decided to retrace his journey. The result is the affectionate and riotously funny Neither Here Nor There.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780380713806
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 05/15/2001
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 105,340
Product dimensions: 5.31(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.72(d)

About the Author

Bill Bryson's bestselling books include One Summer, A Short History of Nearly Everything, At Home, A Walk in the Woods, Neither Here nor There, Made in America, and The Mother Tongue. He lives in England with his wife.


Hanover, New Hampshire

Date of Birth:


Place of Birth:

Des Moines, Iowa


B.A., Drake University, 1977

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

To the North

In winter, Hammerfest is a thirty-hour ride by bus from Oslo, though why anyone would want to go there in winter is a question worth considering. It is on the edge of the world, the northernmost town in Europe, as far from London as London is from Tunis, a place of dark and brutal winters, where the sun sinks into the Arctic Ocean in November and does not rise again for ten weeks.

I wanted to see the Northern Lights. Also, I had long harbored a half-formed urge to experience what life was like in such a remote and forbidding place. Sitting at home in England with a glass of whiskey and a book of maps, this had seemed a capital idea. But now as I picked my way through the gray late December slush of Oslo, I was beginning to have my doubts.

Things had not started well. I had overslept at the hotel, missing breakfast, and had to leap into my clothes. I couldn't find a cab and had to drag my ludicrously overweight bag eight blocks through slush to the central bus station. I had had huge difficulty persuading the staff at the Kreditkassen Bank on Karl Johansgate to cash sufficient travelers' checks to pay the extortionate 1,200-kroner bus fare -- they simply could not be made to grasp that the William McGuire Bryson on my passport and the Bill Bryson on my travelers' checks were both me -- and now here I was arriving at the station two minutes before departure, breathless and steaming from the endless uphill exertion that is my life, and the girl at the ticket counter was telling me that she had no record of my reservation.

"This isn't happening," I said. "I'm still at home in England enjoying Christmas. Pass me a drop more port, will you, darling?" Actually, I said: "There must be some mistake. Please look again."

The girl studied the passenger manifest. "No, Mr. Bryson, your name is not here."

But I could see it, even upside down. "There it is, second from the bottom."

"No," the girl decided, "that says Bernt Bjørnson. That's a Norwegian name."

"It doesn't say Bernt Bjørnson. It says Bill Bryson. Look at the loop of the y, the two l's. Miss, please."

But she wouldn't have it.

"If I miss this bus when does the next one go?"

"Next week at the same time."

Oh, splendid.

"Miss, believe me, it says Bill Bryson."

"No, it doesn't."

"Miss, look, I've come from England. I'm carrying some medicine that could save a child's life." She didn't buy this. "I want to see the manager."

"He's in Stavanger."

"Listen, I made a reservation by telephone. If I don't get on this bus I am going to write a letter to your manager that will cast a shadow over your career prospects for the rest of this century." This clearly did not alarm her. Then it occurred to me. "If this Bernt Bjørnson doesn't show up, can I have his seat?"


Why don't I think of these things in the first place and save myself the anguish? "Thank you," I said and lugged my bag outside.

The bus was a large double-decker, like an American Greyhound, but only the front half of the upstairs had seats and windows. The rest was solid aluminum covered with a worryingly psychedelic painting of an intergalactic landscape, like the cover of a pulp science fiction novel, with the words "Express 2000" emblazoned across the tail of a comet. For one giddy moment I thought the windowless back end might contain a kind of dormitory and that at bedtime we would be escorted back there by a stewardess who would invite us to choose a couchette. I was prepared to pay any amount of money for this option. But I was mistaken. The back end, and all the space below us, was for freight. "Express 2000" was really just a long-distance truck with passengers.

We left at exactly noon. I quickly realized that everything about the bus was designed for discomfort. I was sitting beside the heater, so that while chill drafts teased by upper extremities, my left leg grew so hot that I could hear the hairs on it crackle. The seats were designed by a dwarf seeking revenge on full-sized people; there was no other explanation. The young man in front of me had put his seat so far back that his head was all but in my lap. He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor and he was reading a comic book called Tommy og Tigern. My own seat was raked at a peculiar angle that induced immediate and lasting neckache. It had a lever on its side, which I supposed might bring it back to a more comfortable position, but I knew from long experience that if I touched it even tentatively the seat would fly back and crush both the kneecaps of the sweet little old lady sitting behind me, so I left it alone. The woman beside me, who was obviously a veteran of these polar campaigns, unloaded quantities of magazines, tissues, throat lozenges, ointments, unguents, and fruit pastilles into the seat pocket in front of her, then settled beneath a blanket and slept more or less continuously through the whole trip.

We bounced through a snowy half-light, out through the sprawling suburbs of Oslo and into the countryside. The scattered villages and farmhouses looked trim and prosperous in the endless dusk. Every house had Christmas lights burning cheerily in the windows. I quickly settled into that not unpleasant state of mindlessness that tends to overcome me on long journeys, my head lolling on my shoulders in the manner of someone who has lost all control of his neck muscles...

Neither Here Nor There. Copyright © by Bill Bryson. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 47 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Negative remarks seem forced and are offendive. He comes off as the ugly American. He should have stayed home.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have read his books & saw the movie, A Walk in the Woods, but I will NEVER buy another of his books. He was losing me with his constant belittling - parts were funny but they were clouded over by the negative remarks then he declared that he wished all dogs be shipped off to an island and all poodles should be shot to death. I now agree with the reader who said Bryson should lose his passport. There is no reason to be so critical & so cruel - who enjoys reading such as that. I am finished with Bill Bryson.
katgirlKB More than 1 year ago
I read this on the plane returning from Europe, and it was a humorous, quick read that brought a smile to my face and had me almost laughing out loud as Bryson so remarkably described the experiences I had just undergone attempting to cross streets in Paris and Rome, or weeding through tourists in Florence in an attempt to see the beautiful sights the city offered. A nice collection of short essays reflecting back on his travels 20 years earlier, as well as describing his return visit more recently. After reading it, I had no desire to add Naples or Capri to the bucket list of travel, but would love to spend time in Bruges some day. He brings each location to life through his vignettes.
JYakus More than 1 year ago
I havn't read in years. I was given "A Walk In The Woods" and read it on the way home from Maine this summer. I became hooked on Bill Bryson's books. Neither Here Nor There is an entertaining look at a man who's traveled many lands, and in his witty sense of humor, makes Europe look both pleasing and monotanous. If you're not pleased and inspired to see the world or at least somewhere besides your local town by reading this book, you should stop reading, period!
cinesnail88 on LibraryThing 6 days ago
I like travel essays a lot, and have read a good few. I've read three of Bryson's other books, and I had a rollicking good time with each of them. This book was a bit different. Yes, I had fun, and Bryson's sense of humor was ever present, but this book almost seemed like a step by step of his journey across Europe, which I suppose it was. At times it seemed repetitive, but overall it was enjoyable enough, and somewhat enlightening at points.
Niecierpek on LibraryThing 6 days ago
I like Bryson very much, but this must be his weakest book. It is a travelogue from his backpacking trip across Europe. He is retracing his steps, from Norway to Istanbul, from the journey he made with his friend Katz eighteen years earlier.Unfortunately, it is truly neither here, nor there. What we mostly learn about is where Bryson slept, had coffee and how many beers he had each night, and how expensive it all was. These irrelevant facts take up a disproportionate amount of text as opposed to the interesting historical, sightseeing and cultural remarks. This information is there as well, thank goodness, as otherwise it wouldn¿t even be `neither here, nor there¿, but `nowhere¿.I enjoyed parts of it, had an occasional chuckle, but I wouldn¿t have finished it, if I hadn¿t read it by bits over a good few weeks.I don¿t think I can really recommend it.
mmh166 on LibraryThing 6 days ago
I loved it. Biting sarcasm throughout. Bryson is my hero. Those who complain about his "ignorance" have clearly missed the point and should stick to Fodors or Frommers if they're looking for a travel book.
ptpdx on LibraryThing 6 days ago
I believe this was the first book of Bryson that I've read. And, I have to say that his writing is very witty and fun to read. I bought this to read on my first trip to Eastern Europe. Having read this one, I would like to read more of his stuff.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book makes me want to travel. Witty. Educational. And easy to pick up where you left off.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Whiny ethno-centric account of someone who should have stayed home .
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Enjoyed the humor.
soconfuzed3 More than 1 year ago
After reading multiple reviews, I agree with many of the like & dislike. It seems one is either a fan or definitely not. I've read all the books, have a few audio & prefer Bryson as the reader. At Home is one I read/listen to often due to the trivia factor. Maybe he has ADD as I do & it's easy to wander about off the subject. As for Neither Here.... yes, some very caustic 'humor', often unnecessarily unkind. However, it's his perspective on remembering views held of a trip in his youth opposed to 20+ years later with a very different set of values, insights, education and dare I say, age. For those under 50, I believe you may see life differently with, all of the aforementioned aspects, by another 20+ years. While reading this one I had tight control over the laughing fits with a vivid image of understanding the situation. While I never agree completely with BB's viewpoint, he has some bare, blatant comments on travel worth considering. I doubt he came across as the Ugly American in reality, it's a case of venting, imagery writing of what he'd like to do. At least he's given me ideas on travel & the abiding love of the British countryside, not particularly the cities.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is the first I've read from this author. I find it off-putting and adolescent so far. I'm not sure I will finish it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I like his humor and accidental insights; a bit upsetting and depressing by the end, but probably it is just a reflection on the huge gap between his high expectation vs. reality. Read if if you like the author and his style, but not for the actual travel experiences.
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Maddog1970 More than 1 year ago
The novel expertly describes the great sites in Europe to visit. Bill Bryson does a very good job in bringing the sites he visits to life. He describes both the Pros and Cons of the sites visited in each country. The humor and writ make these sites come to life, as well as expresses the attitiudes of the populace in each country. The people interaction was one of the most interesting parts of the commentary, which I enjoyed and helped me realte to the adventure Bill Bryson was describing about his travels. Bryson's writ and humor made it almost impossible to put the novel down, because I could not wait to read about the next spot to be visited. This is a 5-Star reading for anyone, who travels.
crazy4hawaii More than 1 year ago
I enjoy Bill Bryson's books. This one has some laugh out loud moments. It was a little less enjoyable than "Notes From a Small Island" for instance. It was more caustic, and he just didn't seem to like many of the places he was visiting. I will eventually read all of his books, though, as I love travel and reading about travel.
Megabite More than 1 year ago
I have read nearly all of Bill Bryson's books, and I must say - Neither Here Nor There has to be the funniest of all of them. A Walk in the Woods was the first Bryson book I ever read, and the return of Katz in another novel was great - both men are hilarious, and it is even better knowing that they're actual people. Neither Here Nor There is poignant and has the ability to spark the travel bug in anyone, let alone someone like myself. His accounts are humorous while also being informative - I would have decided to be a history major long ago if every textbook was written by Mr. Bryson. I love the biting and sarcastic tone.
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