How many times have you been manipulated or taken advantage of by someone's lies? Are you tired of being deceived, tricked, and fooled? Finally, renowned behaviorist David J. Lieberman shows you how to stop the lies and uncover the truth in any conversation or situation. In a simple, user-friendly format, Dr. Lieberman gives you the tools to determine, with uncanny accuracy, if you are being lied to.
Utilizing newly developed techniques in hypnosis and psycholinguistics, this book also shows you how to easily influence anyone to tell the truth within minutes. Use it in any situation, from casual conversation to in-depth interviews. Never Be Lied to Again is chock-full of colorful examples and engaging scenarios to help you keep from being taken advantage of and give you that extra edge. Use these groundbreaking techniques to take control of every personal and business situation...and never be lied to again.
|Publisher:||St. Martin's Press|
|Edition description:||First Edition|
|Product dimensions:||5.67(w) x 8.17(h) x 0.64(d)|
About the Author
David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., whose work has been translated into eleven languages, is an internationally recognized leader in the field of human behavior. He has appeared on more than two hundred programs and is a frequent guest expert on national television and radio shows such as "The Today Show," National Public Radio, "The View," PBS, "The Montel Williams Show," and A&E. Dr. Lieberman holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is the creator of Neural-Dynamic Analysis, a revolutionary short-term therapy. He is a sought-after speaker, lecturer, and consultant and lives in New York City.
Table of ContentsIntroduction: The Process and the Power..............................1
What's in This Book and How to Use It................................2
PART I. SIGNS OF DECEPTION
PART II. BECOMING A HUMAN LIE DETECTOR
PART III. TACTICS FOR DETECTING DECEIT AND GATHERING
INFORMATION IN CASUAL CONVERSATIONS...................................
PART V. ADVANCED TECHNIQUES
PART VI. PSYCHOLOGY ON YOUR SIDE
PART VII. INTERNAL TRUTH BLOCKERS: WE LIE LOUDEST WHEN WE LIE
PART VIII. EXTERNAL TRUTH BLOCKERS: TRICKS OF THE TRADE
The Process and the Power
Honesty is at the cornerstone of every relationship, whether it's business or personal. Being aware of someone else's true intentions is undeniably valuable, often saving you time, money, energy, and heartache. When you know a person's true intent, you have the power to control the situation, or at the very least not be taken advantage of.
There is no greater ability than consistently and constantly making the right decisions in life. Remember, though, your decisions are only as solid and right as the facts that you base them on. You will learn how to get at the message beneath the words, how to know what people are thinking when they don't say what's really on their mind. A former client of mine put it best when she said, "It's like having a man inside their camp -- an outpost in their head."
In an ideal society there would be no need for lies or for this book. But we live in a world of deception. And whether you want to play or not, you're in the game. The question is, do you want to win? In romance you need never play the fool again. In business you'll get the upper hand. Wherever and whenever you deal with people, you'll have the tools to come out a winner.
What's in This Book and How to Use It
I'm what is affectionately referred to as a hired gun, a specialist in the field of human behavior. As a board-certified hypnotherapist with a Ph.D. in psychology, I represent corporations as well as private individuals, and offer a type of leverage that many high-paid attorneys, top-notch accountants, and seasoned executives cannot.
Too often we miss the meaning behind the message. As you know, people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say. This book focuses on the truth and how to get at it.
To be an effective negotiator, you must use many strategies and techniques, all of them relying upon the accuracy of the information you're given. The answers you get from the world's most powerful supercomputer are worthless if the numbers you give it to work with are wrong.
We often forget how easily facts can get lost in a conversation, negotiation, or interrogation. Abraham Lincoln is said to have posed the following question: "How many legs would a sheep have if you called its tail a leg?" "Four," explained Lincoln. "Because calling its tail a leg doesn't make it one."
While people lie for many different reasons, their lying rarely benefits the person lied to. And there's that one undeniable truth about lying. Everybody does it, but nobody likes it when it's done to them.
It takes at least two people for a lie to be effective -- one to offer the lie and one to believe it. And while we certainly can't stop people from trying to lie to us, we can keep them from being successful.
This book is divided into eight parts, each of which explores a facet of lying. The innovative techniques in this book will help you figure out if you're being lied to. If you are the victim of a deception, they will assist you in getting at the truth and in gaining control over the situation. Many of the examples in this book are drawn from personal relationships and business situations; certainly most of us can identify with these scenarios.
Signs of Deception
This book picks up where others leave off, going well beyond observing body language clues. The first part offers a catalog of forty-six clues to deception, divided into seven sections. Some of the clues involve the fundamentals of body language, while others use more advanced techniques and processes such as psycholinguistic emphasis and neural linguistic choice perception. Each section concludes with a summary for easy reference.
Becoming a Human Lie Detector
"We often fly blind into verbal combat." That is to say, we usually think of the questions we should have asked two days after the battle is over. This section offers a specific game plan to detect deceit, detailing exactly what to say and when to say it. This sophisticated system involves choosing from a variety of scripted sequences, each from a different psychological angle. Each script includes a primer, an attack sequence, and silver bullets.
Tactics for Detecting Deceit and Gathering Information in Casual Conversations
Now what about those times in casual conversation when you think someone might be lying to you, but a full-fledged interrogation is out of the question? This section provides phenomenal techniques for gathering more information without being obvious. You will also learn how to steer a conversation in any direction that you choose in order to get the information that you want. This section also covers those times when different tactics are necessary for getting to the truth, instances where you may not have the leverage you need. The psychological process is different than if you were coming from a position of strength.
"Mind Games" includes two simple techniques that provide extraordinary results. When you use the first, almost no one will be able to lie to you. When you employ the second, you will be able to discern anybody's true intentions and motivation in any situation.
This section presents the most advanced and groundbreaking techniques for getting at the truth. Using a blend of hypnosis and a system I have developed called Trance-Scripts, you'll be able to give commands directly to people's unconscious minds -- all in conversation and without their awareness. Through this process you can persuade others to tell the truth.
Psychology on Your Side
This part explores the ten fundamental laws of human behavior, the principles that govern our thinking. Once you learn these laws, you'll know how to get the truth out of anyone. With an understanding of how the brain processes information, you will be able to easily influence other people's decisions.
Internal Truth Blockers
Here's the biggest truth in a book about lying: we lie loudest when we lie to ourselves. We all know someone who absolutely refuses to believe that his or her spouse is unfaithful, despite all the warning signs. This section shows you how to become aware of and eliminate those internal blockers that keep you from seeing what's really going on.
External Truth Blockers
This section lets us in on the psychological secrets of the experts. You will discover how the pros -- from professional poker players to master negotiators -- keep you from perceiving the facts in an objective fashion, even affect your ability to evaluate information. The influence of the pros is enormous; they can have a powerful impact on your perception of reality -- unless, of course, you've read this book and can outthink them.
Excerpt from NEVER BE LIED TO AGAIN, copyright © 1998 by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I have read the negative reviews and strongly disagree with some of them. I am in law enforcement and I agree it is useful for those in the law enforcement career. I also agree that some of the techniques, if used in the wrong situation, can be damaging in a relationship. That being said, I do not agree it is only for law enforcement or that it will ruin relationships. Some of the techniques are quite useful in the right settings. You must also know when and how to use them. There are times when it is necessary to lie, for example, to save a life (if a loved one is on drugs or engaging in criminal activities). If you are trying to get the truth out of a teen who is suspected of doing drugs and being truthful and honest hasn't worked then this book will give techniques that can help get the truth out. Sometimes we lie to spare someone's feelings ("Do I look good in this dress?"), therefore, I don't think lying is always a no-no. It is sometimes necessary to maintain relationships or protect loved ones. The techniques in this book aren't for everyday use, they are for specific situations to use for the greater good...getting to the truth so things can be corrected. If anyone disagrees please do not respond with insults, I am only giving my opionion.
If anyone thinks this book is completely useless, they're biased in ways they probably aren't even aware of. There is a lot of information in it and whether or not people like the techniques, everyone who has read it learned at least a few things from it. The book has helped me figured out who my real friends are. I also showed this book to my friends and we happily discussed it. There was no conflict at all...my friends didn't accuse me of not trusting them or asked if I tested them with it. The innocent has nothing to hide. I wouldn't mind it if someone used these techniques on me to see if I were lying. I would be happy that my friends are intelligent and cautious. It will also indicate to me that I haven't opened up enough. Suspicion is not something that we have control over. I rather have my friends tell me the truth and let me know that they don't completely trust me so we can work out our problems. It's being real. Trust is an essential part of strong relationships but trust takes time to build. I can't just say: "I should trust you, therefore I trust you." Just because I want to trust someone doesn't necessarily mean it will happen automatically. Trusting people blindly leads to being taken advantage of. Aside from that, anyone with an open mind will learn something from it. On a certain level, it is manipulative and people may be offended. However, saying that it is a horrible book because of that is absurd. This book was well put together. It is easy to understand, easy to read, and the techniques are easy to apply in real life.
I've been reading the book and it brings some really interesting insights on how people think and act and can help us better understand why someone would lie.
I'm reading this piece of bs because a college professor who I'm seeing for therapy recommended it when he saw I was reading 'Why We Lie' by David L.Smith. NO comparison. Smith's book wins hands down. Lieberman's attempt to help us spot liars or teach us how to lie better (which is it?) is so simplistic, he stretches the truth beyond belief for all but the most naive among us. I'm half-way through and thought I'd push through it for the sake of my client but I feel like it's so little meat and so much fat, I may just fib and say I'm done. I like the college prof but he's not as smart as I thought he was. Read Smith's book on this subject. It's fascinating. I'm really amazed by what gets on the New York Times Bestseller list....says a lot about us, doesn't it? No wonder this country is so messed up.
although it has some interesting psychological techniques, mostly towards the end of the book, it is ironic that many of the suggested techniques depend on making assumptions, bending the truth, lying or misleading. It shows many sample conversations,where a particular question or statement is supposed to railroad your 'opponent' into 'confessing'. However there are many alternatives for the opponent to take or say, not just the ones Dr Lieberman assures us would happen. Getting the truth he promises can by no means be guaranteed, as he appears to do. However in many cases what he advises you to say to try to get your opponent to tell the truth can seriously damage your relationship if he was telling the truth.
David brings up many great pionts and has very good techniques! I'm going to purchance his next book because the infermation in this book is so stunning!
I read the book once and now I¿m reading through it again. The book is far and away more comprehensive and practical than any training I¿ve received. I work as a loss-prevention specialist for a large retail company, and have read everything on the subject. Nothing comes close to matching the ease and effectiveness of the techniques in this book. This book is as fascinating as it is effective.
You cannot use law-enforcement tactics in a personal relationship. You will erode trust and make your partner defensive. This should be standard reading for law enforcement, and nobody else.