Read an Excerpt
  Never in My Wildest Dreams 
 A Black Woman's Life in Journalism 
 By BELVA DAVIS  VICKI HADDOCK 
 Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. 
 Copyright © 2010   Belva Davis 
All right reserved.
 ISBN: 978-1-60994-466-7 
    Chapter One 
                             "What the Hell Are You                           Niggers Doing in Here?"    
  I could feel the hostility rising like steam off a cauldron of vitriol: floor delegates  and gallery spectators at the Republican National Convention were  erupting in catcalls aimed at the press. South of San Francisco, people were  sweltering inside the cavernous Cow Palace, which typically hosted rodeos.  In July of 1964 it offered ringside seats for the breech birth of a right-wing  revolution.  
     My radio news director, Louis Freeman, and I lacked credentials for the  press box—actually we knew that some whites at this convention would  find our mere presence offensive. Although Louis was brilliant and had  a deep baritone voice and a journalism degree, his first boss had warned  Louis he might never become a radio reporter because Negro lips were  "too thick to pronounce polysyllabic words." But Louis, whose enunciation  was flawless, eventually landed an on-the-hour news slot on KDIA-AM,  the Bay Area's premier soul-gospel-jazz station; and he was determined to  cover the convention. It was said that the national press was flocking to the  GOP confab to "report Armageddon." Louis wanted to be at the crux of the  story, relaying to our black listeners all the news that white reporters might  deem insignificant. I was the station's intrepid ad traffic manager, a thirty-one-year-old  divorced mother of two, who had no journalism training. No  question Louis would have preferred a more formidable companion: I'm  delicately boned and stand merely five foot one in stockings. But I was an  eager volunteer. More to the point, I was his only volunteer. And I was, in  his words, "a moxie little thing." He had finagled two spectator passes from  one of the black delegates—they made up less than 1 percent of convention  participants. So there we were, perched in the shadows under the rafters,  scribbling notes and recording speeches, mistakenly presuming we had  found the safest spot to be.  
     Day One of the convention had been tense but orderly. GOP organizers  had strictly instructed delegates to be on their best behavior for the television  cameras, and they had complied.  
     Day Two would be different. Day Two was starting to spin out of control.  
     Indeed, the "Party of Lincoln" was ripping apart before our eyes.  Arizona senator Barry Goldwater, a flinty firebrand whose ruggedly chiseled  face would have rested easy on Mount Rushmore, had tapped into a  mother lode of voter anxiety about Communism, crime, and especially civil  rights. His followers came prepared to jettison the party's moderate wing,  and they were spurred on by Goldwater's fantasy of sawing off the Eastern  Seaboard to let it float out to sea. The press noted that he could win the nomination  by coalescing the right and attracting fringe groups such as the John  Birch Society and the Ku Klux Klan, and reporters were openly questioning  whether the party was on the verge of being taken over by extremists.  
     So when former president Dwight D. Eisenhower stepped into the spotlight  at the podium, I leaned forward intently, hoping the avuncular Ike  would provide a soothing balm of rationality.  
     Indeed his speechwriters had crafted a temperate address that gave  nods to free enterprise, a denunciation of violent radicals on the left or  right, and even benign praise about America's progress on civil rights. But  Eisenhower had personally and uncharacteristically inserted a couple of  poison-tipped arrows into his script, and he let the first fly straight at the  press: "Let us particularly scorn the divisive efforts of those outside our  family—including sensation-seeking columnists and commentators—because   my friends I assure you, these are people who couldn't care less  about the good of our party."  
     The Cow Palace erupted in jeers, boos, and catcalls. Fists shot up in the  air and shook angrily in the direction of the press box and broadcast anchor  booths. The convention's contempt for even the most respected reporters  of the day was palpable—when professorial John Chancellor of NBC News  refused to surrender his floor spot to the dancing "Goldwater Girls," security  guards brusquely carted him out, prompting him to wryly sign off with  "This is John Chancellor, somewhere in custody."  
     Eisenhower, meanwhile, wasn't finished. "Let us not be guilty of maudlin   sympathy," he bellowed, "for the criminal who, roaming the streets with  the switchblade knife and illegal firearm, seeking a helpless prey, suddenly  becomes, upon apprehension, a poor, underprivileged person who counts  upon the compassion of our society and the laxness or weakness of too  many courts to forgive his offense." Without actually uttering the word  Negroes, the former president spoke in a code that needed no translation for  those white Americans who regarded black people as an encroaching threat.  Eisenhower, whether he realized it or not, seemed to be granting permission  to the whites' prejudice and hatred. I suspect he was unprepared for the  deafening applause, cheers, shouts, and honked Klaxons that ensued.  
     Louis and I warily locked eyes, neither of us willing to outwardly betray  a hint of alarm. Next on the agenda were controversial platform amendments  on civil rights. We had a job to do.  
     The satirist H. L. Mencken once observed that a national political convention  often is as fascinating as a revival, or a hanging: "One sits through  long sessions wishing heartily that all the delegates and alternates were  dead and in hell—and then suddenly there comes a show so gaudy and  hilarious, so melodramatic and obscene, so unimaginably exhilarating and  preposterous, that one lives a gorgeous year in an hour."  
     Mencken, of course, had the luxury of being white. We did not. For  Louis and me, the next hour would indeed feel like a year, but a grotesque  one.  
     First, the entire Republican platform was read aloud—a tedious ploy to  delay any ugly debate over amendments until the prime time viewing hour  would be past. At 10 p.m. the first amendment was offered, condemning  radical zealots such as the KKK and the Birchers. Liberal establishment icon  New York governor Nelson Rockefeller, whom Goldwater had defeated for  the nomination, rose to speak in the amendment's favor. "These extremists  feed on fear, hate and terror," he said, as a cacophony of boos began to rise  from the crowd. "They encourage disunity. These are people who have nothing  in common with Americanism. The Republican Party must repudiate  these people!" Enraged at him, the Goldwater crowd interrupted Rockefeller  twenty-two times in five minutes, drowning him out with shrieks, noisemakers,  a bass drum, and the rebuking cry, "We want Barry! We want  Barry!"  
     While the Goldwater organization tried to keep its delegates in check on  the floor of the Cow Palace, snarling Goldwater fans in the galleries around  us were off the leash. The mood turned unmistakably menacing. Even  eminent campaign historian Theodore White abandoned the arena for the  relative sanity of the trailers outside; he would later write that although no  one in the Goldwater organization and few on the delegate floor remotely  qualified as kooks, "the kooks dominated the galleries, hating and screaming  and reveling in their own frenzy."  
     Suddenly Louis and I heard a voice yell, "Hey, look at those two up  there!" The accuser pointed us out, and several spectators swarmed beneath  us. "Hey niggers!" they yelled. "What the hell are you niggers doing in here?"  
     I could feel the hair rising on the back of my neck as I looked into  faces turned scarlet and sweaty by heat and hostility. Louis, in suit and tie  and perpetually dignified, turned to me and said with all the nonchalance  he could muster, "Well, I think that's enough for today." Methodically we  began wrapping up the cords to our bulky tape recorder and packing it and  the rest of our equipment into suitcases. As we began our descent down the  ramps of the Cow Palace, a self-appointed posse dangled over the railings,  taunting. "Niggers!" "Get out of here, boy!" "You too, nigger bitch." "Go on,  get out!" "I'm gonna kill your ass."  
     I stared straight ahead, putting one foot in front of the other like a soldier  who would not be deterred from a mission. The throng began tossing  garbage at us: wadded up convention programs, mustard-soaked hotdogs,  half-eaten Snickers bars. My goal was to appear deceptively serene, mastering  the mask of dispassion I had perfected since childhood to steel myself  against any insults the outside world hurled my way. Then a glass soda  bottle whizzed within inches of my skull. I heard it whack against the  concrete and shatter. I didn't look back, but I glanced sideways at Louis and  felt my lower lip begin to quiver. He was determined we would give our  tormentors no satisfaction.  
     "If you start to cry," he muttered, "I'll break your leg."  
     It took an eternity for us to wend our way through the gauntlet, from  the nosebleed rows of the arena down to the sea of well-coiffed whites on  the ground floor. Security guards popped into my peripheral vision, but I  knew better than to expect them to rescue us—that wasn't a realistic expectation  for any African American in 1964. Louis and I pushed through the exit  doors and into the darkness of the parking lot, dreading that our antagonists  might trail us. When at last we made it to our car, we clambered inside,  locked the doors—and exhaled.  
     Later I would learn that the smattering of other blacks inside the Cow  Palace suffered their own indignities. San Francisco dentist Henry Lucas  was ejected twice from his seat. Oakland real estate entrepreneur Charles J.  Patterson, then vice president of the Alameda County Republican Central  Committee, was denied his rightful place at a luncheon and discovered that  none of the white Republicans there would even meet his gaze. "There was  no one to complain to," he would say. "The major press seemed scared of  the Goldwater people." The Tennessee delegation cited race as its reason for  refusing to grant a vote to its sole black delegate. And another black delegate  walked out with holes singed in his best suit after a bigot sloshed him with  acid.  
     Jackie Robinson, who had attended as a special delegate for Rockefeller,  almost came to blows with a white delegate—whose wife held him back to  stop him from attacking the baseball legend. "Turn him loose, lady, turn  him loose," Robinson shouted, ready for retaliation himself. The next night,  Goldwater would accept the GOP nomination and proclaim his signature  line: "Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice." Although ample evidence  exists to show that Goldwater personally was not racist, he had allied  himself with those who were. And he would go down to defeat in a landslide,  carrying only six states: aside from his home state of Arizona, all were in the  Deep South. His campaign, however, set in motion an electoral realignment  because a huge number of Southern whites abandoned the Democratic Party  for the GOP. His campaign also laid the foundation on which actor Ronald  Reagan, having charmed the 1964 convention with a passionate speech on  Goldwater's behalf, constructed a conservative "Reagan Era" that would  dominate the 1980s and beyond. As for Jackie Robinson, he would always  recall the GOP Convention of 1964 as one of the most unforgettable and  frightening experiences of his life. "A new breed of Republican had taken  over the GOP," he wrote. "As I watched this steamroller operation in San  Francisco, I had a better understanding of how it must have felt to be a Jew  in Hitler's Germany."  
     That night, as Louis and I drove back to our station—our hearts still  thumping and our ears ringing with echoes of the pandemonium—I was  lost in thought. I contemplated the loss of President John F. Kennedy, who  had been the first real hope for black people until he was cut down by an  assassin's bullet. I recalled how only two weeks before, President Lyndon B.  Johnson had signed the Civil Rights Act to prohibit racial discrimination. I  thought about James Chaney, Michael Schwerner, and Andrew Goodman,  three idealistic civil rights workers who vanished in Mississippi that summer;  their murdered bodies would later be found buried in an earthen dam.  And I thought about how much easier it was to change federal policy than it  would be to change the hearts and minds of America.  
     All too many white Americans refused to believe the harsh truth about  race relations in their own country. Too many turned a blind eye to the  prejudices great and small that polluted the air African Americans had to  breathe every day. Hatred was a powerful force. But I wondered: could it  ultimately withstand the power of the press? Journalists were beginning to  bring the stories of black Americans out of the shadows of the rafters and the  alleys and the backwoods, out of the sharecropper plots and the inner-city  ghettos, and into the light of day. They were reporting on the cross burnings  and water hosings, the beatings and lynchings, in vivid details that the  public could no longer ignore.  
     I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to broadcast the reality of my community  to those who could not otherwise imagine it, to fill in that missing  perspective. I wanted to do work that mattered. I wanted to tell stories that  changed the world. And if it was then inconceivable for a petite, soft-spoken  black woman to ever become a journalist—much less an Emmy-winning  television reporter and anchor—well, chalk that up as just one more thing  in the world that was about to change.  
  
  Fast forward almost a half century, to November 2008—another pivotal  presidential contest. Again, the Republicans have nominated a senator from  Arizona. Again, the GOP convention has featured jeering demonstrations in  support of "real Americans" and against urbanites and "media elites." This  time it's the Democrats who have nominated a candidate once known as  Barry, although he now prefers his real name, Barack.  
     Don't ever let anyone tell you history doesn't have a sense of humor.  Against all odds, the Democrats nominated Barack Hussein Obama, a  Harvard-trained former community organizer and law professor, and the  freshman U.S. senator for Illinois. His mother was white and from Kansas;  his father was black and from Kenya. Obama became the Democratic Party  standard-bearer by defeating its presumptive nominee, former first lady  turned New York senator Hillary Clinton. Further proof of history's twisted  wit: in high school she was one of the costumed "Goldwater Girls," from  the tip of her cowboy boots to the top of her straw hat, emblazoned with the  chemistry pun "AuH20"—Au for gold, H20 for water.  
     As for me, I'm in another car driving through the night, lost in thought.  The world has changed in ways I never could have envisioned. I have  been a reporter for almost five decades and fortunate to report on many  of the major stories of my lifetime. I've talked with five presidents. I even  interviewed Goldwater in his later years, when he had grown repulsed by  religious fundamentalists seizing the reigns of the right away from more libertarian  conservatives like him. I've been awarded eight local Emmys and a  Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Academy of Television Arts  and Sciences. In my seventies, I continue to host a weekly news roundtable  and special reports on KQED-TV, one of the nation's leading PBS stations.  My children are grown and launched into the world; and I've been happily  married for more than four decades to Bill Moore, one of the country's first  African American television news cameramen.  
     Bill and I arrive at Harris's steakhouse in San Francisco, where an  election-night dinner party is underway, hosted by our close friend and  California's senior U.S. senator, Dianne Feinstein. We've talked about  whether the nation could possibly elect its first black president. I don't allow  myself to think it will really happen.  
     We mingle and finally sit down to dinner and try to follow state-by-state  returns, although television reception is poor. From time to time, Dianne  rises, regally clinks her knife against a glass to catch our attention, and  announces the latest development. Prospects appear promising for Obama,  but I refuse to let myself celebrate before CNN projects him the winner.  
     Even when the projection is made it is unbelievable. The sound is muffled  — should we check another channel?  
     But no one else is hesitating. Nearly a hundred guests applaud, and  more than a few jump up and down and whoop for joy. As I look around, I  realize that fewer than a handful of those present are black. A lump swells  in my throat, and I lean toward Bill to tell him I feel an irrepressible urge to  speak publicly. He looks puzzled for a moment.  
  (Continues...)  
  
     
 
 Excerpted from Never in My Wildest Dreams by BELVA DAVIS  VICKI HADDOCK  Copyright © 2010   by Belva Davis.   Excerpted by permission of Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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