No Man Left Behind: How to Build and Sustain a Thriving Disciple-Making Ministry for Every Man in Your Church

by Patrick Morley, David Delk, Brett Clemmer

Overview

You’ve got men, you’ve got a church. Add a testimony, some pancakes, a prayer, and—poof!—a men’s ministry. Right?

Making disciples of men—getting them to walk with Christ, live like Christ, and work for Christ—is hard.

If you’ve been struggling to get traction with men, this revised and updated edition of No Man Left Behind can revolutionize your efforts. Drawing upon thirty years of research and work with more than 2,500 churches, the authors offer a proven strategy that will help you disciple every man in your church.

No Man Left Behind is the blueprint for growing a thriving men's ministry that has the power to rebuild the church as we know it, pulling men off the couch and into active involvement as part of the body of Christ.

Find out how to:

• Shift your paradigm from a men’s ministry to a ministry to all your men
• Identify the unwritten “man code” that your church conveys to every guy who walks in the door
• Develop a concrete, seamless process to help men who don’t know Christ become passionate disciples

You can reach men.
You can help them grow closer to Christ.
This book will show you how.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780802475497
Publisher:	Moody Publishers
Publication date:	07/01/2006
Edition description:	New Edition
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.69(d)

About the Author

PATRICK MORLEY founded Man in the Mirror in 1991 and has since impacted the lives of more than 10,000,000 men worldwide. Since 1986, he has taught a weekly Friday morning Bible study to 150 businessmen in Orlando, Florida. This study is broadcast on iTunes and webcast around the world. Pat also speaks to men daily through the Man in the Mirror radio program. He has written 16 books, including The Marriage Prayer, A Man's Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines and Pastoring Men. Pat lives in Winter Park, Florida with his wife, Patsy. They have two grown children and two granddaughters.

Read an Excerpt

No Man Left Behind

How to Build and Sustain a Thriving Disciple-Making Ministry for Every Man in Your Church

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By Patrick Morley David Delk Brett Clemmer

Moody Publishers

Copyright © 2006 PATRICK MORLEY, DAVID DELK, AND BRETT CLEMMER
All right reserved.
ISBN: 0-8024-7549-3

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Chapter One

Men's Ministry Is Rocket Science

Pat has a favorite business saying he picked up somewhere along the way, "Anyone can bring me a problem; I'm looking for people who can also bring me a solution." This chapter provides an overview of a proven system to help you disciple every man in your church. The rest of the book will unpack this system in detail.

During a high-tech boom, a few young professionals in Orlando, Florida, were creating a dream company. With backgrounds in helping the homeless, the jobless, the disadvantaged, and the sick, they created a unique computerized system to track cases as they passed through the social services community.

As word got out about this new technology, inquiries poured in from all over the country. Soon they had a for-profit company, investors, and consultants. They were going to do good in the world. In the process, they hoped to do well for themselves too.

The American Dream

Brett was one of the dreamers. In the company's first year, they did their first million dollars in sales. It was hard work. One person wasresponsible for selling the software-Brett. He would go anywhere, anytime, to talk to anybody. Brett attended countless conferences and made dozens of sales presentations. He was living the American Dream: being in on the ground floor of a technology company.

Soon, venture capitalists started calling. They told Brett and his team how they should grow. They said if certain benchmarks were hit, they would be ready to invest. Brett and his team began to believe they would hit it big.

Following the venture capitalists' advice, Brett hired a national sales force. Soon six people scattered across the country were looking for potential customers. But those salespeople were new to both social services and the technology, so after they found the prospects, Brett flew out to make the presentations. Instead of one person scheduling trips for him, Brett now had six people doing it!

The Bubble Bursts

Then the stock market started to go south. Suddenly, the venture capitalists who had been breathlessly waiting for the company to grow stopped returning phone calls-even as Brett and his team met the potential investors' benchmarks.

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going," Brett had heard all his life. So he worked even harder. Even without the capital from those investors, he was determined to make the company a success through sheer will.

One afternoon, Brett got an excited call from his representative in Texas. He asked Brett to come the next day to meet with a large government prospect. A little weary, Brett called his wife, Kimberly, to break the news. He told her he had to go on another trip, and on short notice. Kimberly's response caught him off guard. "That's OK," she said. "It's easier when you're not here."

Brett tried to laugh it off. "Easier when I'm not there. Ha!" He and his wife had two small children, were active in their church, and owned a home. What was she talking about? So when Brett got home, he asked her.

"I mean it's easier when you're not here," she repeated. "You're trying to build a company, I understand. But it's not easy for me either. You call at 5:30 to say you're finishing up and you'll be home in thirty minutes, then you walk in at 8:00. I try to keep dinner warm, but it's ruined. I'm the one who has to answer the kids when they ask, 'Where's Daddy?' or 'Why is Daddy so grumpy?' When you are here, you're so tired that you pretty much ignore us. So go on your trip. We'll be fine. Really. It's just easier when you're not here."

Brett was in trouble. Worst of all, he didn't really know how it happened. He had told himself he was doing it all for his family. He would buy a nice house in a good neighborhood for his wife; send his kids to good schools; give money to charity. But somewhere along the line, he had lost his way. He realized it wasn't really about his family; it was about Brett.

Ironically, while he was losing himself in his company, he and his wife were busy at church, where they led worship for several hundred grade school children in multiple services every weekend.

How did this happen? Brett grew up in church. Now he was a leader in his present church! And yet his wife and family preferred for him to be gone. It was easier. He had become a distraction in their lives.

Why was Brett being left behind? Why hadn't he connected with his church in a way that helped him become a passionate disciple of Jesus Christ?

The Paradox of Men's Ministry: It Is Rocket Science

Men's Ministry. How hard can it really be? Think about it: You've got men; you've got a church. Add a testimony, some pancakes, a prayer, and-poof!-a men's ministry, right?

Man in the Mirror has worked with thousands of churches across America to help them disciple men. Leaders from churches all over the world have journeyed to Orlando to attend classes at our Leadership Training Center. This book is based on what we've learned from these and other churches. You get to stand on their shoulders.

To encourage and motivate these leaders, we used to tell them: "Look. What we're trying to do here is not rocket science."

And then during one class ... a new insight. As we stared at this group of leaders struggling to reach men in their churches, we realized these were not clueless men. Many were successful businessmen and leaders in their churches. They were accomplished, intelligent, hardworking men. And yet, year after year they were struggling to reach and disciple their men.

Why? Because men's ministry is just grueling. As one of our leaders has said, "A man is a hard thing to reach."

Men's ministry actually is rocket science. While the process is simple enough, men themselves are quite complex.

When you are working on rockets, things are pretty objective. It's all about physical laws and mathematical concepts like gravity, velocity, angles of ascent, and coefficients of drag. But men are not nearly as predictable. Rockets don't get laid off, have trouble with their kids, or endure a health crisis.

Still, there are some parallels between rocket science and men's ministry. For example:

Gravity. Most men shoulder the burden of supporting a family financially, trying to be a good husband and father, and resisting the temptations of a world that wants to drag them down. Velocity. New Christians go like gangbusters; but many men have been in church for a long time, and their enthusiasm is waning. Angles of ascent. Some men get it and steadily move forward; others careen back and forth in their spiritual journey, veering off and hurting people as they go. The key is to ensure they are moving toward Christlikeness. Coefficients of drag. Jobs, soccer games, family problems, church commitments, hobbies ... All of these seem to hold men back-leaders too-as they seek to develop their faith and their ministry.

If you've been struggling to get traction in your men's ministry, this should bring you relief and hope. It brings relief when you understand it's not just you (it really is hard to reach and disciple men), and hope because this book contains a strategy that can help you do it. You can reach men in your church. You can get them to grow closer to Christ. This book will show you how.

The Physics of Men's Ministry

You must accept several constants, however, if you are going to launch and sustain a powerful men's ministry. (These will come up again later, but it's good to manage your expectations from the start.) Here are three realistic parameters to remember:

First, it takes a long time to make a disciple. Jesus spent three years with His disciples, traveling with them, eating with them, teaching them. Even then, one of them sold Him out, another one denied he even knew Him, and all of them panicked and hid after Jesus was killed. How can we expect to make disciples in a twenty-four-week class? The corollary to this is ...

Second, it can take up to ten years to build and sustain a successful men's ministry. That's right. Ten years. As Richard Foster said, "Our tendency is to overestimate what we can accomplish in one year, but underestimate what we can accomplish in ten years." There's just no such thing as an "overnight men's ministry success story." If you stick with it, eventually you'll look around your church and see men who are disciples and leaders. You'll realize that your ministry is responsible in some way for most of those men. And it will take ten years. You are not called to produce immediate results, just to be faithful.

Third, there are no "Five Easy Steps to an Effective Men's Ministry." There aren't even five hard steps. At the Leadership Training Center we sometimes refer to this as "Insert Tab A into Slot B Men's Ministry." It just doesn't work that way. This book is preceptive, not prescriptive. We explain "why" and "how" to disciple men, but we don't specify exactly "what" you should do. Instead, we will help you plan your own concrete next steps according to the culture and needs of your church.

From Prototype to Manufacturing

The hard, cold reality is that we will not see a revival in America and the world if effective disciple-building of men in churches does not move from the prototype stage to the manufacturing stage. What do we mean by that?

Imagine you were alive in 1900. You might have seen an automobile drive through town. People would have gathered to point and stare at this unusual new apparatus. But only twenty-five years later, to see an automobile would have been no big deal. Why? Because in 1913 Henry Ford invented the assembly line with a conveyor belt. By 1927 the Ford Motor Company had manufactured fifteen million Model T's! Ford helped move the auto industry from the prototype stage to the manufacturing stage.

Right now, hundreds of churches are doing a wonderful job discipling men. You may have heard about some of them-we can all point and stare and learn from their success. But there are about 350,000 churches in America. Our passion is to see a dynamic disciple-making ministry to men in hundreds of thousands of churches. Discipling men needs to move from an unusual activity in a few churches to a common characteristic of the life of most churches.

A System Perfectly Designed

What about your church? In business we have an axiom: "Your system is perfectly designed to produce the results you are getting." Imagine a factory where the front right fender falls off of every third car that rolls off the assembly line. The manufacturing "system" of the factory is perfectly designed to produce cars that have a one in three chance of a fender falling off!

This applies to more than manufacturing processes. The same can be said of ministry systems (or models). In other words, the discipleship "system" of your church is perfectly designed to produce the kind of men you have sitting in the pews (or not sitting in the pews, as the case may be).

How This Book Is Structured

That's why at Man in the Mirror we focus on helping churches by equipping and training leaders, and that's why we wrote this book. We will present you with a system designed to sustain an effective disciple-making ministry to men in your church. This model has been proven in local churches-it's a system that works, a system that's designed to create passionate disciples.

This model demonstrates how to build a "people mover" or "conveyor belt" to disciple men within your church. Just like a moving sidewalk at an airport or an assembly line at Henry Ford's factory, this process helps men get from where they are to where God wants them to be.

The remainder of this chapter presents an overview of the components of the model as well as a preview of what's to come in the rest of the book. We'll take a helicopter view and fly over the major concepts and insights. Don't feel like you have to grasp it all now because the following chapters unpack each aspect step-by-step.

Why are we presenting these items here? It's important to be familiar with all these ideas before discussing each one in detail because together they form an integrated whole. This system is most definitely more than the sum of its parts.

The model-and this book-has three sections. The focus of Part One: The Promise of Men's Ministry is to better understand how men are doing, what they need, and how to help them. The focus of Part Two: The Foundations of Your Ministry to Men is to understand the building blocks of a sustainable discipleship system in your church. The focus of Part Three: Executing Your Men's Ministry is to give you a strategy to disciple every man in your church.

By the end of chapter 12-especially if you work through it with a team-you will create a concrete plan for exactly what to do in your church.

Part one will be explored in chapters 2-4; part two in chapters 5-7; and part three in chapters 8-12. Here's a quick introduction to each.

Part 1: The Promise of Men's Ministry: What Your Church Can Do for Men

Before you start building a system, it's a good idea to understand both your starting and ending points. We begin with the men. Exactly what is it we hope to accomplish with them?

The men you are trying to reach are the raw materials of your system. The men in your church and community are the inputs on the left side of the conveyor belt. You will read more about the state of men in America in chapter 2.

Disciples. Your goal is to create an environment that God can use to produce disciples. Disciples are men who are called to walk with Christ, equipped to live like Christ, and sent to work for Christ (1 Timothy 3:15-17). These are the outputs, or products, of your men's ministry system. Disciples are biblical Christians. Some will become leaders, and some of these leaders will become allies. (Read more about disciples in chapter 3.) What do men look like at each of these stages?

1. Biblical Christians. These are men who grasp the gospel and are hungry to grow. They have stopped seeking the God they want and have begun to seek the God who is. They understand that change takes place from the inside out. They know from their own experience that Christianity is not about behavior modification; it's about heart transformation. We go into greater detail about biblical Christians in chapter 9.

2. Leaders. These are men who are beginning to live out of the overflow of their own personal relationship with Jesus. No longer are they concerned only with their walk with God; now they want to do what it takes to help other people grow too. These are the "trustworthy" men who will, in turn, pass what they have learned on to others (2 Timothy 2:2 TLB). Read more about leaders in chapter 6.

3. Allies. These are men who have become passionately convinced that God can use them and your church to transform the world for His glory. These are the men who become future members of your men's leadership team and fuel growth in your discipleship ministry with men. Pray and focus your energies on creating allies. Read more about allies in chapter 4.

Part 2: The Foundations of Your Ministry to Men

Three components provide a solid base on which to build your men's ministry-the Portal Priority (your philosophy of ministry), a Man Code (the environment you create for men), and the Three Strands of Leadership.

The Portal Priority. Churches that reach men effectively make discipleship their portal priority (see Matthew 28:19). By this we mean that all the other initiatives of the church serve the purpose of discipleship. You cannot produce worshipers by begging men to worship; you can't produce tithers by guilting men to give; you can't create evangelists simply by training men to share. Men will not worship a God they do not know and revere; they won't give to a God they don't love; and they won't share about a God they aren't passionate about. Jesus' model is to produce disciples who worship, disciples who tithe, and disciples who are passionate to share the good news about what He has done for them. We discuss the portal priority in chapter 5.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from No Man Left Behind by Patrick Morley David Delk Brett Clemmer Copyright © 2006 by PATRICK MORLEY, DAVID DELK, AND BRETT CLEMMER. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments  / 9
Introduction: A Passion for No Man Left Behind  / 11
     1. Men's Ministry Is Rocket Science  / 15

Part One: The Promise of Men's Ministry
     2. No Man Falls on Purpose  / 31
     3. What Is a Disciple?  / 41
     4. How Do Men Change?  Helping Men Experience
         Heart Transformation  / 51

Part Two: The Foundations of Your Men's Ministry
     5. The Portal Priority and the Man Code  / 67
     6. The Three Strands of Leadership  / 81
     7. An All-Inclusive Ministry to Men  / 95

Part Three: Planning and Executing Your Ministry to Men
     8. Vision: A Compelling Reason for Men to Get Involved  / 113
     9. Create Momentum by Providing Value  / 127
   10. Capture Momentum with the Right Next Step  / 145
   11. Sustain Momentum through Relationships  / 161
   12. Build Your Plan: How to Implement the Model in Your Church  / 179

Epilogue: Raising Up Fourth Seed Leaders  / 197
The Big Ideas  / 201
Notes  / 203

Appendix A: Twenty-five Ways to Connect with Your Pastor  / 205
Appendix B: Sample Vision Statements  / 207
Appendix C: Creating Momentum for the Five Types of Men  / 209
Appendix D: Man in the Mirror Bible Study Table Leader's Job Description  / 211

Suggested Readings  / 215

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

Want to see the men in your church come alive?  Read this book.
-David Murrow, author of Why Men Hate Going to Church

Get this book, read it, know it, practice it - it works.
-Larry Malone, Director, United Methodist Men's Ministries, General Commission on United Methodist Men

This is my 32nd year of ministry to men around the world and this is the most comprehensive and effective material I have found.
-Leonard Albert, Director, LifeBuilders Men’s Ministry, Church of God

Our church has embraced a theme of ministry to and through men that is best captured by the title of this book...No Man Left Behind. 
-Danny Singleton, Men's Ministry Leader, First Baptist Church, Woodstock, Georgia

The lack of effective blueprints for ministry to men in the local church has been a major problem for a long time.  Good news—we now have one.  No Man Left Behind is a must read for all pastors and men’s ministry leaders.
-Vince D'Acchioli, Founder, On Target Ministries

This is the one book every pastor and church leader should read and then encourage their men to read and live, and we would see a mighty movement of God result!
-Phil Downer, President, Discipleship Network of America

Man In The Mirror jump-started our Men's Ministry in 2004 by providing a firm foundation through their Leadership Training Center and ongoing education and insight to build our ministry to men.  Their training is the best investment our church has made: men are excited about coming to church and so are their women!
-W. Mark Shirley, Men's Ministry Director, The MET (Metropolitan Baptist Church), Houston, TX

The vision for men's ministry is not to have a men's group in every congregation!  Morley, Delk, and Clemmer have nailed it--the vision is for every man to have a living, growing relationship with Jesus Christ; for every man to be a disciple!  This book will give you tools to help make disciples of the men in your congregation and beyond.
-Doug Haugen, Director, Lutheran Men in Mission, Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

Two problems plague the church today: biblical illiteracy and lack of male involvement.  No Man Left Behind helps solve the second problem by providing a paradigm for churches to develop mature disciples for Christ.  Best of all the work is clear, readable, practical, and highly recommended.  No Man Left Behind is a men's book for men.
-Paul A. Tambrino, EdD, PhD, Director, Adult and Theological Education, First Presbyterian Church of Maitland

In 2003, a friend from my church and I attended the Building a Sustainable Men's Ministry training in Orlando.  It was an "AHA" moment for both of us!  Pat, David, and Brett share concepts in this book that are "battle-tested."  Apply them to your life and ministry with men.  Believe me--they work!
-Brian Shuler, Men's Ministry Pastor, First Baptist Church of Atlanta

Our association with Man in the Mirror has transformed our men's ministry...It's no longer business as usual.  Our motto is: "Every man a leader, every man an influence for Christ, and every man needs a lift!"  We may want to add a line: "And no man left behind!"
-The Reverend Dr. H. William Green, Associate pastor of First United Methodist Church in Cary, N.C., Recipient of the Ross Freeman Leadership Award in Men's Ministry (N.C. Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church)

At last!...A book that doesn't promise an irresistible men's ministry in five easy steps.  It's hard work and someone--you--gets to do it.  Revealing what they've learned from helping thousands of churches, Pat, David, and Brett offer an approach that will help you develop a unique--not cookie cutter--disciple-making ministry for men.
-Leary Gates, BoldPath Life Strategies

I had a chance to attend the Leadership Training Center at Man In The Mirror.  I love the concept of building an all-inclusive ministry to men.  If you want to start a ministry to men, start where they are.  No Man Left Behind is a must read.
-Rex Tignor, People Matter Ministries

I brought my pastor and several other men to the LTC training classes.  We gained tremendous insight into building a sustainable Men's Ministry at East Cooper Baptist Church here in Mt. Pleasant, SC.  When we returned, we recruited a group of men and explained the system.  We were so excited about what we saw at Pat's Bible study that we copied it.  It has been a huge hit with our men.  The ECBC "Man 2 Man" Bible study is regularly attended by over 90 men each week.  The fruit of this effort has been wonderful.  To God be the glory!
-Randy Bates, Director, Wood Partners

Men's ministry in our church is no longer defined as those who come to our men's events.  Rather, men's ministry is defined by how we are able to disciple a man where he is at.  No Man Left Behind is thankfully not another book giving seven steps that will ultimately lead to frustration, aggravation, and despair.  Instead, if you will learn to walk with Christ and show others how to walk with Him as well.
-Malcolm H. Light III, Pastor to Adults, Grace Community Evangelical Free Church

No Man Left Behind provides a proven template for building an effective ministry to men.  It is a valuable guide for moving from burned pancakes to disciplemaking.
-Len Ruffner, National Director, Christian & Missionary Alliance Men's Ministry

Many of us Montana share the vision of using Man in the Mirrorto bring a credible message of Jesus to all the men in our state.  Discipleship is not easy.  Jesus never said it would be.  No Man Left Behind provides us with many needed tools to work with.  It is exactly what we need.
-Harrison Fagg, Montana Man in the Mirror

As the men of the church go, so goes the church.  Most Christian denominations in America and Europe are in a serious decline.  Men are absent and too many of those in the pews are sadly living as cultural Christians.  No Man Left Behind holds the promise of being one of the seminal books of our time for the renewal and revival of Christian men, and for the Kingdom.
-David R. Reed, Member, Board of Directors, United Methodist Men's Foundation