Okay Fine Whatever: The Year I Went from Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things

Okay Fine Whatever: The Year I Went from Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things

by Courtenay Hameister


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The "hilarious and poignant" story of one chronically anxious woman's quest to become braver by seeking out the kinds of experiences she's spent her life avoiding (Cheryl Strayed).

For most of her life (and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show), Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. How likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home.

Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her -- things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: "nope."

Things like: attending a fellatio class. She did that. She also spent an afternoon in a sensory deprivation tank, got (legally) high in the middle of a workday, had a session with a professional cuddler, braved twenty-eight first dates, and (perhaps scariest of all) actually met someone who might possibly appreciate her for who she is.

Refreshing, relatable, and pee-your-pants funny, Okay Fine Whatever is Courtenay's hold-nothing-back account of her adventures on the front lines of Mere Human Woman vs. Fear, reminding us that even the tiniest amount of bravery is still bravery, and that no matter who you are, it's possible to fight complacency and become bold, or at least bold-ish, a little at a time.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780316395700
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Publication date: 07/31/2018
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 1,180,449
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Courtenay Hameister is a professional nervous person. During her twelve years as host and head writer for Live Wire, a nationally-syndicated public radio show, she interviewed over 500 intimidating people and wrote 200 personal essays in bursts of anxiety-fueled inspiration at midnight the night before each show. Her work has also been featured in McSweeney's, APM's Marketplace, More Magazine, and some scathing emails to the customer service department at Macy's.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Getting Plucky 3

Stepping Down: Wherein I Unknowingly Plant the Seeds for a Series of Tiny Adventures 9

The Sensory-Deprivation Tank: In Which I Spend a Terrifying Ninety Minutes in a Bath of Warm Water 26

Casa Diablo: In Which a Stripper's Vagina and a Blind Chihuahua Cause Me to Send a Monumental Text 40

A Little Bit of Background: Wherein I Attempt to Explain My Dating Situation 55

Adventures in Dating I: Winter, Spring, and How Microsoft Excel Turned Me into an Asshole 76

A Brazilian in Portland: Wherein I Discover a Border I'd Rather Not Cross Again 94

Adventures in Dating II: Summer, the Season of Underboob and Back-of-Knee Sweat 106

Getting Legally High: In Which I Learn That Some People Just Shouldn't Smoke Pot 120

Dating the Polyamorous I: In Which I Develop an Aversion to Soccer Equipment 137

Dating the Polyamorous II: In Which I Learn Who the Boss Is, and It's Not Judith Light 153

Build-Your-Own-Burrito Night at the Sex Club: Wherein I Am Disappointed by Public Sex and Tortillas 166

An Hour with a Professional Cuddler: Wherein I Learn Not to Hate Affirmations … As Much 185

Water Aerobics: In Which I Learn How to Make Myself Feel (Relatively) Young and Attractive 206

Adventures in Dating III: Winter Is Coming 220

Fellatio Class: Wherein I Learn That There Are Ways in Which My Oral Fixation Makes Me an Overachiever 239

Adventures in Intimacy: Wherein I Test the Boundaries of Affection and My Bladder 252

The MRI: Wherein I Go on a Medical Adventure of My Own Making and It Is Louder Than Expected 260

One Last Leap: Wherein I Do the Thing I Should've Done Years Ago and Try Not to Wallow in Regret 279

The Epilogue That's Really Just Another Chapter: Wherein I Attempt to Tell You Why You Just Read This Whole Fucking Book 290

Acknowledgments 303

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