On Giving Up

by Adam Phillips

Overview

From acclaimed psychoanalyst Adam Phillips, a meditation on what we must give up to feel more alive.

To give up or not to give up?

The question can feel inescapable but the answer is never simple.

Giving up our supposed vices is one thing; giving up on life itself is quite another. One form of self-sacrifice feels positive, something to admire and aspire to, while the other is profoundly unsettling, if not actively undesirable.

There are always, it turns out, both good and bad sacrifices, but it is not always clear beforehand which is which. We give something up because we believe we can no longer go on as we are. In this sense, giving up is a critical moment—an attempt to make a different future.

In On Giving Up, the acclaimed psychoanalyst Adam Phillips illuminates both the gaps and the connections between the many ways of giving up and helps us to address the central question: What must we give up in order to feel more alive?

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780374614140
Publisher:	Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Publication date:	03/26/2024
Pages:	160
Sales rank:	54,348
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Adam Phillips, formerly Principal Child Psychotherapist at Charing Cross Hospital, London, is a practicing psychoanalyst and a visiting professor in the English department at the University of York. He is the author of numerous works of psychoanalysis and literary criticism, including On Wanting to Change, Attention Seeking, In Writing, Unforbidden Pleasures, and Missing Out. He is the general editor of the Penguin Modern Classics Freud translations and a fellow of the Royal Society of Literature.

Editorial Reviews

02/19/2024

“We give things up when we believe we can change; we give up when we believe we can’t,” observes psychoanalyst Phillips (On Wanting to Change) at the outset of this intermittently insightful analysis. Though he touches on the subject of suicide—the “ultimate giving up”—Phillips writes from the assumption “that life is by definition always worth living,” and characterizes giving up as “sacrificing something in the service of something deemed to be better.” The book’s eight chapters interrogate what this notion might mean for death, wanting, exclusion, intellectual nihilism, loss, and censorship (for instance, what are “censors”—whether external or mental—attempting to protect through exclusion?). Unfortunately, Phillips’s discussions are often weighed down by esoteric considerations of Freud and Lacan, as well as his own Freudian interpretations of literary masterpieces. He’s at his best when distilling such ideas as psychoanalyst Marion Milner’s concept of “narrow attention” versus “wide attention,” the former an example of the mind as “questing beast” focusing on “what serves its immediate interests” and ignoring the rest, the latter showing how, without the drive of want, “it became possible to look at the whole at once.” Many chapters evolved from previously published essays, which may account for the narrative’s jagged feel. It’s a scattershot exploration of an original and arresting idea. Agent: Amy Rennert, Amy Rennert Agency. (Mar.)

Publishers Weekly

Phillips has rendered the term ‘giving up’ spacious and flexible, having woven together psychology and literature to reveal suggestive points of contact . . . Phillips makes an ambitious case: that giving up is as important to our psychological well-being as hope and love are . . . The best form of giving up, it seems, may just be to take up a book.”
—Sarah Moorhouse, Los Angeles Review of Books

“One of the most arresting things about Adam Phillips’s work is how it resists easy summary, dissolving into a trace memory the moment you try to describe it. . . . Phillips doesn’t try to prevent us from thinking whatever it is that we want to think; what he does is repeatedly coax us to ask if that’s what we really believe, and how we can be sure.”
—Jennifer Szalai, The New York Times (An Editors' Choice)

“Phillips continues to find inspiration in Freud—not only the provocative concepts, but the allowances for speculation in Freud’s language . . . The connectivity between his observations carries a certain charge, an impetus to be curious rather than strictly determined about and by our wants.”
—Ron Slate, On the Seawall

“If this collection marks the beginning of Phillips’ late style, we have a lot to look forward to.”
—Booklist

“A thought-provokingly cerebral meditation.”
—Kirkus Reviews

From the Publisher

2024-01-18
A British psychoanalyst examines the “essential and far-reaching ambiguity of a simple idea.”

Phillips, author of Unforbidden Pleasures, Becoming Freud, and Attention Seeking, premises his latest book on the notion that giving something up—or giving up on something—is based on beliefs about change. “We give things up when we believe we can change; we give up when we can’t,” he writes. Underlying that assumption is that life itself is always worth living, an assumption many are questioning at a time when the planet is in dire social, political, and ecological crisis. Turning to writers and thinkers like Kafka for illumination, Phillips suggests the two-sided nature of giving up: “defeatedness and sacrifice, or failure and compromise, or weakness and realism.” At the same time, he also suggests what few discuss. In giving up, humans can take “sadistic pleasure” in such possibilities as suicide, what Camus would call the most “serious” of all philosophical problems. Yet most will choose to carry on, which leads Phillips to ask, “What is worth surviving for?” Darwin would suggest that survival itself is the endgame, while Freud would suggest that it is pleasure. Yet Phillips finds these “answers” to be as reductive as they are problematic. He offers a partial “answer” of his own by building on Freud’s ideas about loss, which is itself at the heart of all forms of giving up. Loss—being forced to reckon with it—is perhaps a catalyst needed to spur both transformation and inventiveness, which is perhaps the one great hope that remains for humankind. Some readers may find the author’s tendency to speak in high-culture abstractions not to their taste. However, those who enjoy heady engagement with ideas from the upper registers of literature, philosophy, and psychology will undoubtedly find this book exhilarating.

A thought-provokingly cerebral meditation.

Kirkus Reviews