An uproarious, surprising, and poignant satire of American suburbia and youth sports gone wild
When Ben and Jili Holden must move from Manhattan with their three children back to their small hometown of Palace Valley, California, they are forced to reconcile the parents they’ve become with the dreams they had, the choices they’ve made, and a sex life much more down-to-earth than the epic Ferris wheel tryst of their youth. After reluctantly stepping up to lead his son’s Little League team, Ben is challenged to finally come to terms with the long shadow of his father, a legendary high school baseball coach and mentor who is beloved by generations of players, yet largely a stranger to Ben.
At the heart of the story are the universal experiences and themes of family and community, as Ben and Jili struggle to connect with their technology-addicted children and grapple with issues of marital fidelity—both at home and in the hotbed of sexual tension that is the Little League park. Among an unforgettable cast are Del, an autocratic coach who issues his own Ten Commandments; Liza, Ben’s unrequited high school crush; Logan, a smart-aleck ringer whose preteen talents are eclipsed only by his ego; and Cyn, the sultry thong-wearing team mom with the serpent tattoo. Every mother and father of every boy and girl who have ever participated in youth sports can relate, and in Parents Behaving Badly Scott Gummer brilliantly skewers overzealous parents and lunatic coaches, giving the grown-ups who seek vicarious glory the send-up they so richly deserve.
|Edition description:||Simon & Schuster|
|Product dimensions:||5.18(w) x 8.06(h) x 0.70(d)|
About the Author
Scott Gummer is the author of two books, The Seventh at St. Andrews and Homer Kelley's Golfing Machine, and has contributed to over forty magazines including Vanity Fair, Sports Illustrated, Fortune, Travel + Leisure and more. He lives with his wife and four children in the Sonoma wine country, where he has coached youth sports at every level from peewee boys to high school varsity girls, and where he serves on the little league Board of Directors.
Reading Group Guide
This reading group guide for Parents Behaving Badly includes an introduction, discussion questions, ideas for enhancing your book club, and a Q&A with author Scott Gummer. The suggested questions are intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book.
When Ben Holden and his family move from New York City back to his hometown in rural California, he reenters a world of his former classmates, aging parents, quirky siblings, and the agony and ecstasy of Little League baseball, where the parents are often more intense and into the game than the kids. The first novel by journalist and author Scott Gummer, Parents Behaving Badly is a satirical, often hilarious portrait of suburban life and modern parenting. Gummer expertly weaves together provocative and timely storylines, ultimately illuminating what it means to be a true leader, be it in the form of a role model, coach, or parent.
Questions and Topics for Discussion
- Early in the story Ben and his aging father, Coach, share a tender and, for Ben, curious moment when his father gently pats Ben’s hand. (p. 18) How does this brief moment, and Ben’s reaction to it, shed light on his relationship with his father?
- As a high school freshman Ben made the bold choice not to play baseball for his father—because of his father. Ben remembers thinking, “I would rather not play baseball at all than play for you [because] playing for you doesn’t look like any fun at all.” (p. 65) Before Coach kicked Ben’s older brother, Fred, off the high school team for having marijuana, Fred experienced a similar sentiment: “He’d have quit baseball if he could, but that was never an option.” (p. 00) Contrast their experiences with those of Homer King, who was taken in by Coach after a tragic childhood experience left him orphaned, and who gives an eloquent eulogy for Coach at the funeral.
- Consider the character of Del Mann. He issues godlike rules to the team, swears at the kids, instructs a talented newcomer to tank his tryout so Del can draft him, and runs his practices like military boot camp. How much of his behavior seems to be that of an over-the-top, satirical antagonist, and how much seems to be frighteningly realistic?
- The theme of aging and its effects on friends and family is addressed in Parents Behaving Badly. The story opens with Ben’s realization that his father is getting old, and as a result of the mental decline of Jili’s mom, Mitzi, Ben decides to move the family across the country back home to Palace Valley. For Ben, every reason not to uproot the family is “ultimately trumped by caring for Mitzi.” (p. 143) However, he also thinks “the seed of regret grows roots of resentment.” (p. 144) What repercussions does the move have on all the members of Ben’s family?
- The book explores the complexities and challenges of modern parenting, one of the most prominent for Ben being new technology. He ruminates, “Now kids hook up and break up via IM and txt msgs. Vowels are an endangered species. To Ben’s mind, social networking could not be more anti-social. People no longer talked; they tweeted and poked and posted to one another’s walls.” (p. 155) Of Ben's three children, his daughter Kate is most involved with technology. Without it, do you think she would have a different relationship with her father? Or is Ben being old-fashioned in his thinking?
- Issues of marriage and fidelity recur throughout the story. Ben and Jili categorize their sex life using Starbuck’s lingo. Ben has an ongoing infatuation with his high school crush, Liza Heston, though he is “not naïve enough to believe that Jili had never thought about other men.” The stakes are raised when Ben has sexual fantasies about and then a physical encounter with Cyn. But does Ben cheat? Is he unfaithful to Jili, or do his thoughts and actions stop short of crossing the line?
- How is Homer King’s status as a role model affected immediately after he announces that he is gay? (p. 216) Does this change as the story progresses? How do his actions compare with those of many of the “parents behaving badly” in the story?
- Ben’s visions of what it will be like to bump into Liza Heston again are dashed when he encounters her in a pub. (p. 272) Ben is surprised that she has not aged well and that she misremembers the events of graduation night, which Ben remembers with perfect clarity. What does this passage say about the elusive qualities of memory and perspective? How does it relate to the idea that “you can’t go home again?
- How does becoming coach of his son's team help Ben gain a better understanding of his father than he was able to when Coach was alive? As the story explains, “the picture long etched in his mind of his father as a brute between the chalk lines gradually blurred as Ben got a taste of the crap Coach had to stomach for a half a century.” (p. 256) How do you think this experience affects Ben as a coach in his own right? How does it affect him as a parent?
- When Del is ultimately exposed as the one who pulled the infamous prank on Principle Middleton (p. 281), is his tearful reaction enough to redeem his character?
- The opening dedication in the book is “for every parent who lives for—not through—their kids.” (p. 4) Indeed, there are many examples of youth sports parents whose obsession with the game overshadows everything else. Discuss some of the examples that stood out to you and why. How do the actions of the parents seem to affect their children? How does the behavior of the Little League fathers contrast with that of the mothers? What implications are made about the values of modern society?
- What are the similarities between coaching and parenting in the story? What are the differences? Do good parents make good coaches and vice versa?
- The book explores the idea of learning to appreciate true value. Consider examples from the book, including Ben’s apprenticeship with Olle Olleson, learning more about his father as both a coach and parent after becoming a coach himself, his encounters with Cyn and their effect on his marriage, and even the bad behavior of other Little League parents. How do these experiences help Ben develop a better appreciation for what really matters?
ENHANCE YOUR BOOK CLUB
- Ask each of the members of your group about their experiences with youth sports, either as a child or an adult. Are the experiences similar or different than those portrayed in the book? These can be shared verbally at your meeting or you can request participants to write a paragraph or two in advance and bring to discuss.
- Serve classic baseball refreshments at your book group meeting. Some ideas include chili dogs, a nacho bar, peanuts warmed in the oven, kettle corn, or Cracker Jack. You can even make baseball-decorated cupcakes! Experiment with your own favorite ballpark foods.
- Find a Little League game in your area to attend—you can go to www.littleleague.org and use the “Start/Find a League” tool. Be sure to observe kids and parents alike! Discuss your impressions and see how they compare to what happens in Parents Behaving Badly.
A CONVERSATION WITH SCOTT GUMMER
The story is primarily told from Ben’s perspective, but you chose to write it in the third person rather than the first, creating a little more distance between the reader and Ben. What affected this decision?
I never thought about writing it from Ben's perspective, I suppose, because it would have been too partial. Ben's vision is clouded in the beginning of the story, and as the story goes on he achieves clarity—about his marriage, his father, his children, etc. Also, in this way readers can consider Ben in the same way they consider other parents and coaches.
You have coached youth sports at almost every level. How did your experiences inform this story?
I had a solid knowledge of the inner workings of youth sports from every angle—as a former player who was never the star of a team, a parent of kids who both were and were not All-Stars, a recreation league assistant coach, a varsity high school head coach, a member of the board of directors—and I believe that aided in my ability to paint a credible portrait of all that is both wrong and also wonderful about youth sports.
This is your first work of fiction. How did the writing process differ for you compared to those with your nonfiction books, like Homer Kelley's Golfing Machine or The Seventh at St. Andrews?
It was incredibly liberating not to be shackled by facts. I liken nonfiction to interior decorating: all the pieces are there, and it is the author's job to arrange them. With fiction every decision is a blank slate, which is at once daunting but empowering.
Do you hope your nonfiction fans will follow you into the realm of fiction with this book? Or are you aiming at an entirely new audience?
I would hope that people who have read my previous works might give me another chance, but each book has an audience unto itself and I am deeply appreciative of anyone who will spend their time and money with my work.
Have you personally experienced the level of “badness” displayed by some of the parents in the book? Can you share an example of an episode that particularly struck you?
Every mom and every dad of every boy and every girl involved in competitive youth sports has a story about some misbehavior that made them cringe. My hope is that people will read this and have a laugh, while at the same time thinking to themselves, “Am I that parent?”
Much like Ben’s family in the book, you also moved with your family from New York to California. How much of this event influenced the plot of your story?
One of the joys of writing fiction is the opportunity to delve into uncharted situations. I am happily married, but through Ben I was able to explore issues of infatuation and infidelity. For my wife and me, we were thrilled to move back home, but I was interested in what it would be like to move home against your will but for all the right reasons.
The behavior of many of the parents in the story, although bitingly satirical, can also border on disturbing. Would you describe your work as a modern social commentary? Do you think kids in the environment you describe can still benefit from Little League, or have things gone too far?
My book is absolutely an indictment of how insanely intense youth sports have become, but it is my passion for and belief in the benefits of organized youth activities—not just sports—that compelled me to write a book that skewers the absurdity of how parents are sucking all the fun out of the games for the kids.
Do you ever meet your fans in person at book readings or events? If so, what is the most valuable or helpful aspect of meeting a reader face to face?
I feel humbled and honored anytime someone takes time out of their day to seek me out for a chat about my work. The most satisfying aspect is when people say they suggested or shared my book with a friend. That is the true measure of success.
How does meeting fans in person differ for you, compared to chatting with them online on social media sites like Facebook?
I am always happy to hear from readers, all the more happy to meet then in person. Being a write, is a lot like being a chef in that it is a solitary endeavor best shared with friends.
What are you working on now? Will any of the characters you created in Parents Behaving Badly make it into a new work of fiction?
I am working on a new novel, another suburban satire. I had not thought of having any characters make a cameo, but if I do it would likely be Liza Heston. I loved writing her.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Parents Behaving Badly, by Scott Gummer, is a fun read. Several scenes are hilarious, but the sweet, tender side to this story makes it most memorable. Ben and Jili move back to their hometown, where many broken and unfulfilled dreams are buried. As they adjust to their once familiar surroundings, they learn to deal with the ghosts of their pasts. Old flames flicker, secrets are revealed, and unspoken questions receive answers. To be honest, I feel the beginning of the story is a little slow and confusing-too many characters to follow and not enough background to feel grounded in the story. That quickly changes when the characters burst to life and the storyline becomes infused with humor. That's not to say the entire story is fun and games. It also touches on the frustrations, insecurities, temptations and questions that Ben and Jili's marriage faces. The author does a great job of projecting imagery through his words. Although the physical descriptions of the characters (with an exception here and there) are not as crisp as I would have liked, the scenes are vivid, lively and full of color. I'm not a baseball fan, so many of the coaching references, plays, and strategies go over my head; but my lack of knowledge does little to thwart my enjoyment of the story and its satirical undertone. There are two basic storylines: Ben's relationships with his family and friends, and the mad goings-on of little league baseball. The tales meld together nicely; glued together by pain, frustration, fear and laughter. As a parent, even though my children did not participate in team sports in school, I can relate to a large part of this story. The small town of Palace Valley contains residents with big problems. There are several characters I swear live down the street from me ... the middle-aged Barbie wannabe, the obsessed and obnoxious little league coach, the gorgeous temptress who wants nothing more than to steal someone else's man, and the insufferable know-it-all. Let's not forget the children caught in the middle of the madness, forced to live the dreams of their parents. *I received this book as an early release. It did not influence my review or rating.
As someone who both played Little League as a kid and now watch my son play it I found myself in this book in a dozen different places both as the kid and the parent. There has not been a book I've read in a long time that touched me as much as this one because I saw myself in it over and over. Scott Gummer does a magical job of relating every day life and experiences in a way that is touching and real in a way where most other novels fail. At the same time, the book is infused with a wicked sense of humor that made me laugh out loud in many places. While parents and former Little Leaguers will relate to incidents on nearly every page, you don't need to be either to enjoy this book because it's also a tale of every day incidents with which we can all relate, and it's very accessible and very, very funny. You'd never know it was a first novel because Scott has found a strong comic voice that jumps off the page. And if you love writers like Jonathan Tropper you'll love Scott Gummer. Great read, highly recommend it!...
Parents Behaving Badly, by Scott Gummer, is a fun read. Several scenes are hilarious, but the sweet, tender side to this story makes it most memorable. Ben and Jili move back to their hometown, where many broken and unfulfilled dreams are buried. As they adjust to their once familiar surroundings, they learn to deal with the ghosts of their pasts. Old flames flicker, secrets are revealed, and unspoken questions receive answers. To be honest, I feel the beginning of the story is a little slow and confusing¿too many characters to follow and not enough background to feel grounded in the story. That quickly changes when the characters burst to life and the storyline becomes infused with humor. That¿s not to say the entire story is fun and games. It also touches on the frustrations, insecurities, temptations and questions that Ben and Jili¿s marriage faces. The author does a great job of projecting imagery through his words. Although the physical descriptions of the characters (with an exception here and there) are not as crisp as I would have liked, the scenes are vivid, lively and full of color. I¿m not a baseball fan, so many of the coaching references, plays, and strategies go over my head; but my lack of knowledge does little to thwart my enjoyment of the story and its satirical undertone. There are two basic storylines: Ben¿s relationships with his family and friends, and the mad goings-on of little league baseball. The tales meld together nicely; glued together by pain, frustration, fear and laughter. As a parent, even though my children did not participate in team sports in school, I can relate to a large part of this story. The small town of Palace Valley contains residents with big problems. There are several characters I swear live down the street from me ... the middle-aged Barbie wannabe, the obsessed and obnoxious little league coach, the gorgeous temptress who wants nothing more than to steal someone else¿s man, and the insufferable know-it-all. Let¿s not forget the children caught in the middle of the madness, forced to live the dreams of their parents. *I received this book as an early release. It did not influence my review or rating.
This book should be required reading for any parent signing up their precious little one for sports as well as anyone contemplating coaching! An enjoyable and quick read, it has a nice "people-watching" feel to it as it explores just how messed-up suburban families can be. I wanted the plot to dig a little deeper...the conflicts were almost watered down, but sometimes it's nice to have a light read. I also liked hearing the story from the male perspective. Parents Behaving Badly will appeal just as much to men as it does women, especially the detailed accounts of dramatic Little League games. There is a good balance between humor and sentiment -- would make a great foundation for a television sit-com.Please note that I was provided an advance reading copy of this book by the publisher which has not affected my review.
Here's the main reason I didn't like this book: I find the topic of Little League Baseball to be quite boring. So the vast majority of the novel did not hold my interest one bit. I kept hoping maybe things would turn around and get interesting. What's more, Parents Behaving Badly read, well, badly. At the beginning of the book I had a hard time keeping straight which character was which. Part of the problem is the author never really spent any time telling me who was who and the other part of the problem was they all had boring and generic names. Anyway, I kept reading without trying to figure it out because I didn't really care.The title suggests the parents in this book are going to be behaving badly. But there wasn't much of that going on. They thought a bit about cheating, but they thought about it passively and never actually considered going out and cheating. That's not actually behaving badly so much as it is contemplating behaving badly. Snore. Then there was a little incident at the end of the book, but other than that, there wasn't much behaving badly going on that I noticed.On the plus side, though it was a very, very minor part of the plot, I did have to admire the family for moving across the country when Grandma starting getting really forgetful. Not too many families would do that that these days. This book might be excellent for some people, and I'm sure there are people who would find this book hilarious (I giggled once or twice) and relatable, but overall, it just wasn't for me.*Disclaimer: I won an advanced copy of this novel through a Goodreads giveaway. Trust me, that fact did not influence my review in any way.
This books was filled with fantastic humor and touched so close to home with the antics that I have found not only on our own local baseball field but attaches itself to my 8 year old youth hockey organization as well... Step back Dad (That includes me too) and let these kids have fun...
My two children had been though the local soccer program and I was anxious to see if any of the bad behaving parents from the book seemed familiar. While our soccer program had the occasional parent/coach who put his child above others or the parents who used the program for a babysitter, that now seems tame compared to this story. This is the story of Ben and his wife Jili. They were living the good life in New York until they moved back to California to be near their aging parents. After the death of his father "Coach", Ben and Jili's two sons wanted to sign up for the local baseball program. Suddenly Ben, who was a little introverted, found himself pulled into a cast of characters he would have rather stayed away from. There was the over zealous coach who bent the rules in his favor, put his own child's well-being on the line to win games, and who was responsible for the local "promgate". There was the local MILF, who shamelessly flirted with Ben and wouldn't share her cevichi recipe as promised. There was the boy who's mother married his father's father and who's father married his mother's twin sister, making his grandfather his step-father and his aunt his step-mother. This book is about how Ben and Jili navigate their way through all these crazy people and keep their own lives intact. This was a great book, except for one little thing - I don't know much about baseball. Every so often I had to go to my husband to explain a baseball term for me. If he wasn't around I could have easily skimmed over those parts and it wouldn't have affected the story line, but I think my husband enjoyed my sudden sports interest. I think he may even read the book - when baseball season is over.
Definitely a laugh out loud, really hits home book! As you read the book, you start imagining that it's written about people and coaches you know! I would recommend this book to every parent and coach who has every played little league. It really opens your eyes to the big picture; from coaching perspective, player perspective and parent perspective! Loved it!
A great read with great insight into that great American tradition, Little League Baseball. Even if you're not a parent and have never played Little League, pick up Parents Behaving Badly: it's funny, perceptive, and on-target about life in suburban America today. The characters ring true--little kids, teens, and parents alike. It's clear that Scott Gummer knows his territory. Play ball!