Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace: Seven Steps to Renew Confidence, Commitment, and Energy

by Dennis Reina Ph.D., Michelle Reina

Overview

An expert guide to resolving coworker conflicts and healing hurt feelings and resentments, to create a more productive—and pleasant—environment.
 
Are you feeling less engaged, less committed, and more skeptical at work? Do you find yourself isolated? Or are you caught in the middle of co-workers’ interpersonal conflicts? If so, you may be experiencing the symptoms of broken trust in workplace relationships. 
 
Small but hurtful situations accumulate over time into the confidence-busting, commitment-breaking, energy-draining patterns consistent with broken trust. Everyone has experienced gossiping, missed deadlines, someone taking credit for other people’s work, or “little white lies.” You may have been hurt. You may have realized that you inadvertently let others down. Or you may be wondering how to help others reeling from broken trust. 
 
No matter your vantage point, this new book from two award-winning authors and consultants to top-tier organizations offers a proven seven-step process to heal pain and rebuild trust. This compassionate, practical approach helps you reframe the experience, take responsibility, forgive, let go, and move on. You can feel motivated to go to work again—and safe to be more fully who you are, giving your organization your best thinking, highest intention, risk-taking, and creativity. And in a place of self-discovery, self-trust, and authenticity, you can connect more fully with others in your personal life as well. While there have been many books on recovering from betrayal in personal relationships, this is the first to focus specifically on the workplace—and the first to give equal weight to what to do when you have hurt others.
 
“Rebuilding trust is a job you cannot ignore if you want a thriving workplace.  Don’t miss this book.” —John Kador, author of Effective Apology

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781605093727
Publisher:	Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date:	10/03/2010
Pages:	192
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Dr. Dennis and Dr. Michelle Reina are cofounders of the Reina Trust Building Institute. Their clients include American Express, AstraZeneca, Nokia, MillerCoors, the US Army Corps of Engineers, Harvard, Yale, and Walt Disney World. Their book Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace won a 2007 Nautilus Book Award and a 2008 Axiom Business Book Award.
Dr. Dennis and Dr. Michelle Reina are cofounders of the Reina Trust Building Institute. Their clients include American Express, AstraZeneca, Nokia, MillerCoors, the US Army Corps of Engineers, Harvard, Yale, and Walt Disney World. Their book Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace won a 2007 Nautilus Book Award and a 2008 Axiom Business Book Award.

Read an Excerpt

INTRODUCTION Betrayal Is Universal
(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace"
by .
Copyright © 2010 Dennis Reina.
Excerpted by permission of Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Preface xi

Introduction: Betrayal Is Universal

The Betrayal Continuum 2

The Impact of Betrayal 4

Betrayal: A Gift and a Teacher 6

The Three Vantage Points 8

The Seven Steps for Healing 9

Step 1 Observe and Acknowledge What Happened 15

When You Have Been Betrayed 17

When You Have Betrayed Others 22

When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 27

Step 2 Allow Feelings to Surface 31

Ways to Surface Your Feelings 34

When You Have Been Betrayed 39

When You Have Betrayed Others 41

When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 43

Step3 Get and Give Support 47

Ways to Get Support 49

When You Have Been Betrayed 54

When You Have Betrayed Others 56

When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 58

Step 4 Reframe the Experience

See the Bigger Picture 64

Focus on Choices and Opportunities 69

Identify the Lessons 69

When You Have Been Betrayed 73

When You Have Betrayed Others 75

When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 77

Step 5 Take Responsibility 81

Determine What Part You Own 82

Take Action 83

Realize What You Gain 84

When You Have Been Betrayed 86

When You Have Been Betrayed others 90

When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 95

Step 6 Forgive Yourself and Others 99

Forgive Yourself 101

Forgive Others 103

When You Have Been Betrayed 104

When You Have Been Betrayed Others 111

When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 113

Step 7 Let Go And Move On 115

Accept What Is So 116

How You Know When You Are Ready to Move On 119

Moving On Is Choosing to Act Differently 121

Integrate and Celebrate 123

When You Have Been Betrayed 124

When You Have Been Betrayed Others 127

When You Want to Help others Rebuild Trust 129

Conclusion: Renewing Confidence, Commitment, and Energy 131

The Healing Journey 131

The Outcome: Confidence, Commitment, and Energy 139

Transforming Others' Lives: Helping Rebuild Trust 146

Notes 149

Acknowledgements 151

Index 155

About the Authors 161

Working with the Authors 163

Trust Building® Resources 165

Editorial Reviews

The definitive book on sustaining trust in your organization. Dennis and Michelle Reina have created a practical manual for understanding, building, and rebuilding trust in working relationships.”
—Paul Rosner, Chief Information Officer, Energy Coal, BHP Billiton, Sydney, Australia

“The Reinas’ true-to-life stories inspired me to reframe broken trust and arrive in a place of renewed energy and understanding.”
—Peggy Niemer, Corporate Vice President, Human Resources, Children’s Hospital and Health System

“Dennis and Michelle demonstrate their profound understanding of the human spirit and human frailties—and their ability to step back and observe the strengths that can come from both. I believe this book is for everyone in relationships everywhere, not just those in the workplace.”
—Stephen H. Rhinesmith, PhD, coauthor of Head, Heart, and Guts

“Michelle and Dennis Reina are at the forefront of helping leaders understand the importance of trust in building high performance organizations. Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace presents actionable concepts that leaders can put to immediate use in rebuilding trust in relationships in the workplace as well as at home.”
—Deborah Garrett, Vice President, Human Resources, Intuit

“The principles in this book have had an important and valuable influence on how members of our team talk to each other, how we treat each other, and how we expect to be treated by others. The Reinas’ work has given us a gift that allowed us to move forward. We found a path to becoming better individuals and teammates.” 
—David J. Whaley, Vice President, Development and Alumni Relations, Norwich University

“As organizations become more diverse, trust emerges as a critical prerequisite for the conversations necessary to align different world views in support of a common mission and vision. Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace breaks this seemingly complex issue into kaizen-like steps that can help employees, supervisors, and leaders effectively manage and best leverage a multicultural workforce.”
—Harry R. Gibbs, MD, Chief Diversity Officer, MD Anderson Cancer Center, Houston

“Given that trust is fragile—it can be built and broken—knowing how to rebuild trust is essential. Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace offers practical advice and guidance for how to build and bolster trust. And effective leaders know that trust is the foundation for the kind of engagement that drives high quality, sustainable results.”
—Sue Hoffman, Program Manager, Talent Acquisition, 3M

“As a multi-dimensional non-profit agency, we see the demand for our services at an all-time high. With pressure on staff and stress in relationships peaking, I will use this book daily in my work with managers and our teams. I know its advice will produce great results.”
 —Jill C. Dagilis Executive Director, Worcester Community Action Council

“By applying the Reinas’ proven methods and tools for rebuilding trust, you will come to learn more about yourself and others. You will also learn how to create and sustain the strong relationships that are necessary to navigate today’s complex environment. Read this practical, easy-to-read book and turn the elusive trust we all seek into reality!”
—Kate Beatty, Director, Global Portfolio Management, Center for Creative Leadership

“Trust is a fragile thing—easy to break and hard to repair—but rebuilding trust is a job you cannot ignore if you want a thriving workplace.  Don’t miss this book.  The trust you rebuild may be in yourself.” 
—John Kador, author of Effective Apology

“This book speaks to managers as imperfect beings—the reality is that in our work organizations, we have the potential to inadvertently be on both sides of a complex trust issue, feeling betrayed and instigating betrayal.  Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace not only explains this paradox but also shows how to reflect internally and then take action.”
—Thom Johnston, President, New England School of Communications

“Workplace trust is at an all-time low. Fortunately there is help within the pages of Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace.  Dennis and Michelle Reina adeptly describe the issues underpinning the loss of trust while giving readers ways to reframe their thinking. The authors also provide pragmatic steps that can be put to use immediately to rebuild trust among coworkers.”
—Jon Peters, President, The Institute for Management Studies

“There has never been a greater sense of the loss of trust in the religious community than there is today. Every congregational member or clergy leader has found himself or herself at one or more of the vantage points of betrayal outlined in Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace, whether we realize it or not, for broken trust is all around us. Thank goodness we now have a road map in the form of this approachable, compassionate book.”
—Rev. Phill Martin, CAE, CCA, Deputy CEO, National Association of Church Business Administration

“Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace is equally powerful in both one-on-one relationships and group settings. A central theme in the book involves taking responsibility, whether you are the betrayer or the victim, in order to move forward in the healing process. The book offers practical yet thought-provoking advice and provides an excellent framework for rebuilding trust.”
—Barbara Kimmel, Executive Director, Trust Across America

“Dennis and Michelle Reina walk the reader through a process that can lead beyond personal feelings and reactions to effective resolution. This book addresses a very important missing link in most companies’ handling of human resource issues!”
—Randy Spencer, Vice President for Residential Services, Presbyterian Children’s Homes & Services

“Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace is a very useful guide that provides an easy-to-understand process, a helpful framework, a variety of real-world examples, useful tips and memorable quotations. I appreciated the well-rounded perspective that addresses both the betrayed and betrayer, invokes both compassion and courage, and details how to give to yourself and others.”
—Simon Hayward, Managing Partner, Cirrus, Cheshire, UK

“This book will help individuals heal their relationships with intention and courage. It provides a proven path to reclaim trust and restore the relationships that underpin satisfaction, performance, and achievement at work.”
—Leslie Yerkes, President, Catalyst Consulting Group, Inc. and Adjunct Faculty member, Case Western Reserve University, and author of Fun Works and They Just Don’t Get It!

“As a leader, I'm always looking for tools that will help supervisors, whether at the executive level or on the front lines, be the best managers they can be. In this book, I found such a tool. Its practical model and real-life stories make it accessible and effective for anyone tackling the challenge of broken trust.”
—Ted A. Mayer, Executive Director, Harvard University Hospitality and Dining Services

“Rebuilding trust should be a competency required of all leaders and all individual contributors across all organizations. Dennis and Michelle Reina tell us how to hone the skills that will prepare us to repair damaged relationships. All who read Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace will come away with a deeper understanding of themselves and a greater appreciation of others.”
—Beverly Kaye, Founder and CEO, Career Systems International and coauthor of Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em

“Do you have a hard time winning back the hearts of your employees? Has your team become paranoid? Do you wonder what to do and where to start? If so, your top priority should be reading Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace. You’ll find valuable insights to spot trust-breakers and practical tips to shepherd the healing process.”
—Philippe Masson, Founding Partner and President, MyDevelopment.Pro, Paris, France

“We all know that people, performance and profits suffer when trust is broken. Dennis and Michelle Reina provide step-by-step guidance for healing personally and organizationally. Follow their sage advice to re-establish leadership credibility and create a positive emotional environment in your organization.”
—Diana Whitney, PhD, President, Corporation for Positive Change and author of Appreciative Leadership

“Trust is at the core of the best schools I have worked in and visited, and it is evident in each school’s top educators and administrators. Yet it’s hard to imagine a group of organizations more in need of trust rebuilding than our public schools. I hope all schools tap into this book, for Dennis and Michelle provide clear, proven steps on strengthening the trustful relationships that are essential among students, teachers, parents, and administrators.”
—Heidi Berlyak, Owner, LearningReviews.com

“Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace is likely to be one of the most important books on workplace relationships you will ever read.  Full of compelling and moving real life examples, it speaks directly to you, draws you in and makes you feel part of the story. There were times, in fact, when I thought I was the person they were writing about.   Dennis and Michelle Reina are exceptional coaches who walk you through a proven process. From the first page to the last, you will find useful things you can do immediately to heal a broken relationship and steer it back to one that’s renewing and productive. Do yourself a big favor and buy this book now, read it tonight, and put it to use tomorrow. You’ll thank yourself and so will those you work with.”
—Jim Kouzes, coauthor of The Leadership Challenge and The Truth About Leadership and Dean’s Executive Professor of Leadership, Leavey School of Business, Santa Clara University

From the Publisher