Resolving Conflict: How to Make, Disturb, and Keep Peace

by Lou Priolo

Overview

Many Christians see conflict as a dirty word—something wrong to be avoided at all costs. After all, aren’t Christians to be peacemakers who strive to maintain unity? But, as Lou Priolo reminds us, many other things that the Bible exhorts us to do—including its commands to convict, rebuke, and admonish other Christians—make conflict a necessary part of the Christian life. Lou takes us through the biblical principles of conflict resolution, beginning before conflict even starts. He shows us the prerequisites we must have as we go into conflict, what is at the heart of our conflict, when it is biblical and unbiblical, and how we should respond to it. He also shares practical steps and advice, giving us specific talking points to resolve conflict and journaling exercises to help us to grow when it happens. Learn how to “make every effort” to maintain unity—even when that effort involves conflict first!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781596389090
Publisher:	Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing
Publication date:	08/12/2016
Pages:	320
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x (d)

About the Author

Lou Priolo (1954–2023) was a full-time biblical counselor for nearly forty years, the author of many counseling books and resources, and an international speaker who encouraged and equipped pastors in biblical counseling. A fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, he last served as counseling pastor at Christ Covenant Church in Atlanta, Georgia.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments 9

Preface 11

Introduction 13

Part 1 Prerequisites for Conflict Resolution

1 Prerequisite 1: Humility 19

2 Prerequisite 2: Gentleness 35

3 Prerequisite 3: Patience 61

4 Prerequisite 4: Loving Forbearance 87

Part 2 Biblical Principles of Conflict Resolution

5 Three Types of Conflict 115

6 Love Communicates 143

7 Responding to Reproof 169

8 Getting to the Heart of Conflict 189

9 Unbiblical Responses to Conflict: Internal 209

10 Unbiblical Responses to Conflict: External 227

11 Conflict-Resolving Questions 245

12 You Put the Words Right into My Mouth 259

13 Have We Gone Too Far? 269

14 The Hidden Prerequisite 283

Appendix A How to Use a Conflict Journal 291

Appendix B Conflicts with Unbelievers 303

Appendix C Biblical Alternatives to Commonly Used Terms for Sin 311

Editorial Reviews

Everything Lou writes is helpful, practical, and biblical because of his wisdom gained through years of counseling experience and his love for God’s Word. What makes this book unique among books dealing with conflict and peacemaking is how specifically he deals with the details of the heart issues that need to be addressed and the practical steps that need to be taken. There are numerous valuable diagnostic tools and questions that will be very useful for pastors and counselors. His self-deprecating and transparent personal examples are also helpful as Lou shows that he too is engaged in this struggle.

Jim Newheiser

Conflicts are like forest fires. If you can put them out while they're still small, you can save an enormous amount of time and effort. That's why this book is so valuable: it provides simple, biblically sound, and incredibly effective insights for resolving conflict in its earliest stages, when it still involves only two people. If you learn and practice these principles, you will spend more time enjoying the people around you—rather than fighting prolonged relational fires.

Ken Sande