Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption

by Vanessa McGrady

Overview

From a story first told in the popular New York Times parenting blog comes a funny, touching memoir about a mother who welcomes more than a new daughter into her home.

After two years of waiting to adopt—slogging through paperwork and bouncing between hope and despair—a miracle finally happened for Vanessa McGrady. Her sweet baby, Grace, was a dream come true. Then Vanessa made a highly uncommon gesture: when Grace’s biological parents became homeless, Vanessa invited them to stay.

Without a blueprint for navigating the practical basics of an open adoption or any discussion of expectations or boundaries, the unusual living arrangement became a bottomless well of conflicting emotions and increasingly difficult decisions complicated by missed opportunities, regret, social chaos, and broken hearts.

Written with wit, candor, and compassion, Rock Needs River is, ultimately, Vanessa’s love letter to her daughter, one that illuminates the universal need for connection and the heroine’s journey to find her tribe.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781503903685
Publisher:	Amazon Publishing
Publication date:	02/01/2019
Pages:	204
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Writer Vanessa McGrady spends time thinking about feminist parenting, high-vibrational food, and badass ways to do things better. She often wonders why people aren’t more freaked out about plastic in the oceans. Whether in New York, the Pacific Northwest, or Glendale, California, she is grateful to call each place home. She’s lucky and profoundly grateful to be a mom to a magical sprite child named Grace. To learn more about Vanessa, visit www.vanessamcgrady.com.

Editorial Reviews

The love McGrady feels toward Grace, whom she has dedicated the book and her life to, is the sweet layer of frosting on top on a multilayered cake. An expressive and love-filled tale of adoption and of befriending the biological parents of the adopted child.” —Kirkus Reviews

“Moving…McGrady’s memoir is a touching and honest adoption story.” —Publishers Weekly

“McGrady chronicles her non-fairy-tale path to parenthood with uncommon candor.” —Washington Post

“McGrady’s adoption story is rare and important.” —The Atlantic

“[A] complicated, compelling ride.” —Bustle

“Vanessa McGrady opened her home to the birth parents of her infant daughter when the couple struggled with money problems and, eventually, homelessness. In the same spirit of generosity, she invites readers into her heart and mind. We ride the ups and downs with her as she endures the heartache of miscarriage, responds to difficulties within her own marriage, and tries to forge a balance between helping her daughter’s birth parents and maintaining the integrity of her own family. McGrady’s candor and courage are breathtaking! I devoured every word.” —Jo Robinson, author of Eating on the Wild Side

From the Publisher

09/24/2018
McGrady’s slim and moving memoir follows her decade-long journey to becoming a parent, during which she suffered three miscarriages before adopting her daughter. Living in New York City and Seattle, McGrady worked an assortment of jobs—waitress, owner of a dating service, voice-over actor, playwright—while involved in a series of relationships. She didn’t seriously start thinking about having children until she became pregnant for the first time, in 2000 at age 32, and suddenly she fell “madly, irreversibly in love with the idea of becoming a mom.” She told everyone she knew that she was going to have a baby, and when the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, she was devastated. A decade later while living in Los Angeles, McGrady decided to contact an adoption agency. After a few failed matches, she received a call about a young pregnant woman named Brigett, who had already backed out of an agreement with another potential adoptive parent. McGrady agreed to help Brigett and her boyfriend Bill with their living expenses and eventually adopted their daughter, named Grace Magnolia. McGrady also allowed the newly homeless Brigett and Bill to live with her and Grace until they got back on their feet. McGrady wrestles with gratitude to Grace’s birth parents, for finally giving her the daughter she’d always dreamed of, and concern for Grace’s (and her own) mental health with Grace’s birth parents living under the same roof for six months. McGrady’s memoir is a touching and honest adoption story. (Feb.)

Publishers Weekly

2018-10-15

A memoir from a woman who adopted a baby girl and then supported the birth parents when they became homeless.

In her early 30s, McGrady pregnant and fell in love with the idea of being a mother, but then miscarried. Suddenly, the need for a child was foremost in her mind, but her body wouldn't cooperate and bring a pregnancy to term. So the author and her partner, Peter, turned to adoption as an alternative. After two years of waiting, a baby girl, Grace, arrived. McGrady thought she had it all—house, husband, and child—and then it began to fall apart. Peter's drinking led to divorce, but they continued to co-parent Grace. Remarkably, when Grace's biological parents became homeless, the author took them in. Though they only planned to stay a few nights, they lived with her for a month before moving out, only to come back when they had nowhere else to turn. Amid the tumult, McGrady wondered about the psychological effects for Grace—e.g., would she still call McGrady "mom" when her biological mother was living in the house with them? In this open, honest tale, the author shares the intimate thoughts and feelings that led to her decision to adopt, to leave Peter, and to let Grace's parents into their lives. The conversational tone makes the reader feel like a trusted friend as the author meanders through her thoughts on motherhood and the memories of her parents and childhood and of the men she was involved with prior to Peter. She offers interesting insight into the lives of those who adopt and those who give up a child for adoption, as well as the personal angst that goes along with such a decision.

An expressive and love-filled tale of a unique adoption scenario.

Kirkus Reviews