Saving Ourselves from Suicide - Before and After: How to Ask for Help, Recognize Warning Signs, and Navigate Grief

by Linda Pacha

Overview

HELP, HOPE, AND HEALING

125 FIVE STAR REVIEWS ON AMAZON

A caring, up-close look at suicide with Prevention and Grief in one best-selling book. Why? They relate more than you realize. Considering how loved ones would grieve might be what keeps someone here. Likewise, grief can become so intense that prevention tools are needed to keep safe those left behind. With a detailed table of contents and bulleted lists, you will use this resource again and again.

Pacha, an attorney with a degree and post graduate studies in psychology, public speaks about prevention and grief through her nonprofit, Nick's Network of Hope. She lost her teen son, Nick, and holds nothing back to help others.

SELF HELP: Reasons to stay; how to make a safety plan; yell for help and allow it; you're not a burden; people care more than you think; how to reach out when hope is lost; risk factors and warning signs with real-life examples; bullying is a reflection of them, not you; and what Nick would want you to know

HOW TO HELP PEOPLE STRUGGLING: Okay to ask if suicidal; listen and ask open-ended questions; don't be a cheerleader if more is needed; believe behavior more than words; and seeking professional help

GRIEF: Why push on; release guilt and anger; emotions of the first year; second year and beyond; grieving individually and together; new family dynamics; getting back into society; answering difficult questions; parenting surviving kids; keeping your marriage intact; what to avoid; siblings of suicide; and physical effects

HOW TO HELP THOSE GRIEVING: Don't avoid; listen but don't try to fix; talk about loved ones; and allow to work through birthdays and anniversaries

STIGMA: Why it exists; ways to reduce it, complexities of mental health; misconceptions of selfishness, cowardliness, and lack of faith; and how stigma of mental health morphs and attaches to survivors

HOW TO REDUCE PRESSURE: What is the pressure and ways to reduce it; and recommendations for parents and schools

A BETTER TOMORROW: Ways for a kinder world; how to reduce bullying; how to teach kids to live with more compassion; and how you can make a difference

All Book Sale Net Proceeds Go Toward Suicide Prevention

Book Club Discussion Questions Available on nicksnetworkofhope.org

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781734409680
Publisher:	Autumnbloom Press
Publication date:	05/26/2020
Pages:	300
Sales rank:	229,333
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.81(d)

About the Author

Linda Pacha has firsthand knowledge of the devastation caused by a loved one's suicide and the excruciating pain from losing a child. Her teenage son, Nick, died by suicide while away at college. She shares her insights gained from his painful life, his tragic death, and her personal grief journey. Linda founded Nick's Network of Hope (nicksnetworkofhope.org), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides resources, support, education about life challenges with an emphasis on mental health awareness, suicide prevention, and grief and loss. Pacha is an attorney with a degree and post graduate studies in clinical psychology.

Table of Contents

(All Subheadings Not Shown)

Note To Reader xix

1: Losing A Child: A Metaphorical Look 1

2: Mental Health Issues and Suicide Can Happen In Any Family 5

3: Nick's Story 9

4: Calls, Dorm, and Trip Home 51

5: Initial Days of Grief 59

6: The Memorial Service 67

7: Body is Found, and Videos Appear 73

8: Bullying and Social Difficulties 79

Grade School 81

Middle School 81

High School 90

9: Stigma and Complexities of Mental Health 103

Misconception of Selfishness 110

Misconception of Cowardice 112

Misconception of Lack of Faith in Higher Power 112

10: Social Landmines 115

Going Out for Groceries 115

First Steps Back into Society: Talking with Other School Parents 117

Difficult Social Interactions with Friends 118

Voluntarily Socializing with Others 120

Meeting New People 122

Being Judged 124

Sibling of Suicide 125

11: More Grief and the New Family 133

Emotions of the First Year 133

Grieving Individually and Together as a Family 134

New Family and New Family Dynamic 135

Marriage 137

Physical Effects of Grieving 139

12: First Anniversary, Second Year, and Beyond 141

13: A Matter of Faith 145

Shattered Faith Then Restoration and Renewal 145

Prayerful Moment in Waiting Room 156

Suicide Mom 158

Forgiveness 162

14: Choices, Changes, and Self-Growth 167

Choices after a Tragedy, a Significant Loss, or Both 168

Opportunity for Self Growth 173

15: Practical Tips for Loss Survivors 185

Reasons to Keep Pushing On 186

Recommendations (What Worked for Us) 187

16: Risk Factors and Warning Signs 201

Risk Factors 201

Warning Signs 202

Nick's Risk Factors 206

Nick's Unwritten Warning Signs 206

Nick's Warning Signs in Texts 207

17: Things to Know to Help Yourself and Others 213

To Help Yourself 214

To Help Others in Pain 222

To Help Suicide Loss Survivors 227

18: A Better and Safer Tomorrow 231

Gather Info from Attempt Survivors and Loss Survivors 232

Lessen Pressure on Our Youth 236

Create a Movement to Teach Kindness and Compassion 246

19: Final Stories of Hope 257

Reading Group Discussion Questions 265

Editorial Reviews

TESTIMONIALS

"The author has a crystal clear vision of mental health and the continuums of illness. Saving Ourselves from Suicide is both a personal journey and warning to families. The author is clearly on a mission to save others from the tragedy that befell her family. It is invaluable." - Christine Z. Somervill, PhD, Director of Programs, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), Cook County North Suburban, Chicagoland

"Saving Ourselves from Suicide is a touching account of one family's survival after losing their son and brother to suicide. While this is a loss that none of us would wish on anyone, Saving Ourselves from Suicide gives us a meaningful glimpse into the powerful loss and the many things we can do to support each other and our loved ones through struggle." - Alison Malmon, Founder/Executive Director, Active Minds

"Linda gives details about the ways she and her family grieved differently and outlines the methods that they used to cope with Nick's traumatic death. The common thread throughout the book is Linda's call for all to be kinder and more compassionate to one another, to search for understanding, and to be aware of how our actions impact others." - Rev. Charles T. Rubey, Founder/Director, Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide (LOSS) nondenominational program, a division of Catholic Charities

"This book is important on so many levels. It describes the emotional journey of living through the events leading up to suicide and walks through the painful steps of the initial shock and long grieving process. It is a valuable resource to make it through grief and loss. This is a visceral but important read." - Steve Arkin, MD, Attending Neurologist, Miami Valley Hospital, Assistant Professor, Wright State University, Dayton, Ohio, Cofounder, SpeakUp

"A significant contribution to the critical dialogue that we all need to be engaged in regarding how to reduce the stigma of mental health in our society. It is a call to action to turn the tide of despair that is now so prevalent in our culture today." - Rev. Dr. Scott Mitchell, MTh, PsyD, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, President and CEO, SamaraCare

"The author's voice in Saving Ourselves from Suicide brings awareness to a new level through her brave and honest account of the death of her beautiful son by suicide and the impact this had on her family and the community." - Fran Zucco, BSN, RN-BC, Clinical Leader, Linden Oaks Behavioral Health

"Insights, information, and resources to help others decide to stay or to assist the healing of those who have experienced the tragic loss of a loved one. Her sharing may be the best informed friendly advice you could receive. It comes from a deep, painful experience and with the authenticity of a mother's broken heart." - The Rev. Dr. Steven R. Rottgers, Canon to the Ordinary, Episcopal Diocese of West Missouri, Author of I AM Yours

"Not only is this book a must-read for anyone suffering a loss of suicide, it is also a guide offering support for those living with a loved one who suffers from mental illness. Rather than hiding behind the stigma of suicide and weighing the reader down with unnecessary stats and references, Linda's heartfelt storytelling opens the door for us survivors to move through our pain and start healing." - Monica Pedersen, Former HGTV Host, Author

From the Publisher