Saving Ourselves from Suicide - Before and After: How to Ask for Help, Recognize Warning Signs, and Navigate Grief

Saving Ourselves from Suicide - Before and After: How to Ask for Help, Recognize Warning Signs, and Navigate Grief

by Linda Pacha


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Linda Pacha is refreshingly transparent, holding nothing back in this moving and uplifting help book. With the detailed table of contents, you will refer back to her recommendations and warm advice time and time again. Read warning signs in her son's last text messages that are labeled for you. Learn what Nick could not feel or understand: the options and hope that were still there. And if suicide has already happened, she will help you move forward in your grief, release any guilt or anger, and find the hope in life again.

Pacha is an attorney. Her undergraduate degree and postgraduate studies are in psychology and clinical psychology, respectively. Linda public speaks about suicide prevention and the grief process through the nonprofit she founded, Nick's Network of Hope ( She's known for her unfaltering honesty, which is appreciated by many. Pacha is a parent who has been through the worst and shares everything to help others in pain.

  • SUICIDE PREVENTION/SELF-HELP: Reasons to stay; you are not alone; how to make a safety plan; yell for help and then allow it; you are not a burden; people care more than you think; how to reach out when hope is lost; risk factors and warning signs with real-life examples; bullying is a reflection of them, not you; and what Nick would want you to know
  • HOW TO HELP OTHERS WHO ARE STRUGGLING: Okay to ask if suicidal; listen and ask open-ended questions; don't be a cheerleader if more is needed; believe the behavior more than the words; and the importance of seeking professional help
  • GRIEF AND LOSS: Why push on; release guilt and anger; emotions of the first year; the second year and beyond; grieving individually and together; new family dynamics; getting back into society; answering difficult questions; parenting surviving kids; keeping your marriage intact; what to avoid; siblings of suicide; and physical effects
  • HOW TO HELP THOSE WHO LOST SOMEONE TO SUICIDE: Don't avoid; listen but don't try to fix; remember and talk about loved ones; and allow to work through birthdays and anniversaries
  • STIGMA: Complexities of mental health; why stigma exists; misconceptions of selfishness, cowardice, and lack of faith; how stigma of mental health morphs and attaches to survivors; and ways to reduce stigma
  • REDUCING PRESSURE: What is the pressure and ways to reduce it; recommendations for parents and schools; and how to make lunchtime and gym more inclusive
  • TIPS FOR BETTER TOMORROW: Ways for a kinder world; how to reduce bullying; how to teach kids to live with more compassion; and how you can make a difference

All Net Proceeds from Book Sales Go Toward Suicide Prevention

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781734409680
Publisher: Autumnbloom Press
Publication date: 05/26/2020
Pages: 300
Sales rank: 685,403
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.81(d)

About the Author

Linda Pacha has firsthand knowledge of the devastation caused by a loved one's suicide and the excruciating pain from losing a child. In 2013, her teenage son, Nick, died by suicide while away at college. Using the insights gained from his painful life, his tragic death, and her personal grief journey, Linda founded Nick's Network of Hope, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides resources, support, education about life challenges with an emphasis on mental health awareness, suicide prevention, and grief and loss.

Linda is an attorney who practiced law for several years before raising her family. Her undergraduate degree and postgraduate studies are in psychology and clinical psychology, respectively. Linda public speaks about suicide prevention and the grief process through her nonprofit charity, Nick's Network of Hope ( She lives with her family in Naperville, Illinois.

Table of Contents

(All Subheadings Not Shown)

Note To Reader xix

1: Losing A Child: A Metaphorical Look 1

2: Mental Health Issues and Suicide Can Happen In Any Family 5

3: Nick's Story 9

4: Calls, Dorm, and Trip Home 51

5: Initial Days of Grief 59

6: The Memorial Service 67

7: Body is Found, and Videos Appear 73

8: Bullying and Social Difficulties 79

Grade School 81

Middle School 81

High School 90

9: Stigma and Complexities of Mental Health 103

Misconception of Selfishness 110

Misconception of Cowardice 112

Misconception of Lack of Faith in Higher Power 112

10: Social Landmines 115

Going Out for Groceries 115

First Steps Back into Society: Talking with Other School Parents 117

Difficult Social Interactions with Friends 118

Voluntarily Socializing with Others 120

Meeting New People 122

Being Judged 124

Sibling of Suicide 125

11: More Grief and the New Family 133

Emotions of the First Year 133

Grieving Individually and Together as a Family 134

New Family and New Family Dynamic 135

Marriage 137

Physical Effects of Grieving 139

12: First Anniversary, Second Year, and Beyond 141

13: A Matter of Faith 145

Shattered Faith Then Restoration and Renewal 145

Prayerful Moment in Waiting Room 156

Suicide Mom 158

Forgiveness 162

14: Choices, Changes, and Self-Growth 167

Choices after a Tragedy, a Significant Loss, or Both 168

Opportunity for Self Growth 173

15: Practical Tips for Loss Survivors 185

Reasons to Keep Pushing On 186

Recommendations (What Worked for Us) 187

16: Risk Factors and Warning Signs 201

Risk Factors 201

Warning Signs 202

Nick's Risk Factors 206

Nick's Unwritten Warning Signs 206

Nick's Warning Signs in Texts 207

17: Things to Know to Help Yourself and Others 213

To Help Yourself 214

To Help Others in Pain 222

To Help Suicide Loss Survivors 227

18: A Better and Safer Tomorrow 231

Gather Info from Attempt Survivors and Loss Survivors 232

Lessen Pressure on Our Youth 236

Create a Movement to Teach Kindness and Compassion 246

19: Final Stories of Hope 257

Reading Group Discussion Questions 265

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