Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World

Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World

Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World

Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World


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Has Technology Taken Over Your Home?

In this digital age, children spend more time interacting with screens and less time playing outside, reading a book, or interacting with family. Though technology has its benefits, it also has its harms.

In Screen Kids Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane will empower you with the tools you need to make positive changes. Through stories, science, and wisdom, you’ll discover how to take back your home from an overdependence on screens. Plus, you’ll learn to teach the five A+ skills that every child needs to master: affection, appreciation, anger management, apology, and attention. Learn how to:

  • Protect and nurture your child’s growing brain
  • Establish simple boundaries that make a huge difference
  • Recognize the warning signs of gaming too much
  • Raise a child who won’t gauge success through social media
  • Teach your child to be safe online

This newly revised edition features the latest research and interactive assessments, so you can best confront the issues technology create in your home. Now is the time to equip your child with a healthy relationship with screens and an even healthier relationship with others.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780802422200
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Publication date: 10/06/2020
Pages: 208
Sales rank: 370,517
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

GARY CHAPMAN, PhD–author, speaker, counselor–has a passion for people and for helping them form lasting relationships. He is the #1 bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages series® and director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information, visit his website at

ARLENE PELLICANE is a speaker, podcaster, and author of several books including Parents Rising, 31 Days to a Happy Husband and Calm, Cool, and Connected. She is the host of the Happy Home podcast, and has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Wall Street Journal, and Focus on the Family. She and her husband James have three children. To learn more and for free family resources visit

Table of Contents

Authors' Note 7

Introduction 11

Part 1 Kids on Tech

1 Screen Time and the Brain 23

2 Screen Time and Relationships 37

3 Screen Time and Safety 49

4 Screen Time and Emotional Health 65

5 Screen Time and the Single Parent 79

Part 2 The A+ Social Skills

6 The A+Skill of Affection 93

7 The A+ Skill of Appreciation 105

8 The A+ Skill of Anger Management 119

9 The A+ Skill of Apology 131

10 The A+ Skill of Attention 145

Part 3 Restart Your Home

11 Screen Time and You 161

12 Top Ten Questions and Answers 173

Quiz: Does Your Child Have Too Much Screen Time? 183

Quiz: Is Your Child Addicted to Video Games? 185

Notes 187

About the Authors 201

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"Whether you are a parent, grandparent, neighbor, or friend, Growing Up Social is a must-read! The electronic age has brought us the amazing miracles of television and computer technology, but it has also brought risks to the social and intellectual development of our children. This book will inform you, and perhaps even alarm you, but then it will show you how children can enjoy screens without becoming addicted to them."
—MEL CHEATHAM, MD, clinical professor of neurosurgery

"As a mom of six children, I see now more than ever how important real connections with real people are. For those of us who grew up with corded phones and letter writing pen-pals, it’s easy to worry about how the screen-driven world impacts our children. Thankfully Arlene Pellicane and Dr. Gary Chapman have provided sound advice for parents in how to train children in important relational skills, while setting realistic boundaries for electronic entertainment. Need help in teaching your children communication, care, and empathy for others? This is the book you’ve been looking for! Great research, sound advice, and steps to success—what could be better than that?"
—TRICIA GOYER, USA Today bestselling author of 40 books, including Lead Your Family Like Jesus

"The advent of the digital world is a technology that has created an enormous challenge for parents. It is causing our children to spend more time in front of a computer screen or smartphone than in healthy social contact, and the consequences on children’s emotional health is frightening. Research here is very clear: we are rewiring the human brain in ways that will have longterm detrimental effects. Growing Up Social is absolutely correct in its identification of the risks facing our children. It offers practical guidance and scientifically validated techniques for protecting them from the damaging consequences of prolonged digital engagement. It has my full recommendation."
— ARCHIBALD D. HART, author of The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationships

"How do you raise children thoughtfully in a screen-centric world? It’s one of the most urgent questions of our time, and Growing Up Social is a full of smart, practical answers. Any parent seeking to nurture their family’s spiritual life in this connected age, no matter their faith or philosophy, will benefit from reading it."
—WILLIAM POWERS, author, Hamlet’s BlackBerry

"It’s not too late! You can rescue your children from their technology and help them learn why and how to be social. Without social skills, they’ll be miserable, lonely, confused, angry, misled, depressed, unfulfilled. You know it’s a huge issue today and I’m glad you’re concerned. In Growing Up Social, Chapman and Pellicane share ideas that will equip you to have instructive conversations with your kids and make realistic and significant changes so they willingly decrease their screen time and confidently increase their friend time."
— KATHY KOCH, founder and president of Celebrate Kids, Inc., and author of Finding Authentic Hopeand Wholeness and How Am I Smart? and coauthor of No More Perfect Kids

"If you think your child is immune to an overdependence on screens, think again.Written by my trusted friends Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane this book is a reality pill that many modern day parents need to swallow."
—DR. KEVIN LEMAN, New York Times bestselling author of Have a Happy Family by Friday

"Finally a book that educates on the very real effects screen time has on our children and daily home life. Growing Up Social is packed with practical wisdom and brilliant suggestions to effectively and intentionally pull families trapped in isolation away from their screens to reestablish God intended family time! Gary and Arlene, count me a raving fan of this much needed guide book for parents!"
— TRACEY EYSTER, founder of FamilyLife’s, author of Be the Mom and Beautiful Mess

"A timely and practical book that tackles one of parenting’s biggest dilemma: how do we navigate this new world of technology? This book will equip parents to confidently set boundaries and create an atmosphere that uses technology in a healthy way."
—TED CUNNINGHAM, pastor and author of several books including Trophy Child

"This book will help parents navigate the slippery slope of electronics in a way that emphasizes family bonding, social relating, and maintaining a healthy balance of electronic and non-electronic activities. A most welcome addition to the library of any intentional parent."
—TODD CARTMELL, child psychologist and author of Project Dad and Raising Flexible Kids

"In this unprecedented age of technology and its accessibility, I cannot think of a more needed or more important resource for parents than Growing Up Social. While this book recognizes the positive contributions of technology, it serves as an important handbook for educating parents on the effects of too much screen time in our lives. It offers creative alternatives and encouragement to take back our home from the digital invasion and I highly recommend it!"
—KRISTEN WELCH, author of Rhinestone Jesus and blogger at We Are THAT Family

"As a mom, I have often felt outnumbered in my own home: Laptop, iPod, smartphone, Xbox, tablet: 5 vs. Mom and Dad: 2. Besides living in a wireless bunker, what’s a parent to do? Growing Up Social will help you reclaim your home and your family. More than a media manifesto, this book gives a commonsense, real world approach to building relationships and helping our kids who are screen savvy become socially savvy."
— KATHI LIPP, author of I Need Some Help Here: Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan and 21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids

"Growing Up Social is a must-read for wisdom to maximize the positives and minimize the negatives of life and love in the ever-changing digital world."
— PAM AND BILL FARREL, co-directors of Love-Wise; authors of Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make

"Imagine this: A two-year-old picks up his mother’s phone and swipes his finger across the screen. Not hard to imagine, is it? What’s wrong with that picture? What’s right? Arlene Pellicane and Dr. Gary Chapman will help you answer both of those questions. Growing Up Social is a must-read for today’s parents and grandparents too!"
— KENDRA SMILEY, author of Journey of a Strong-Willed Child and Be the Parent (and mother of three, grandmother of nine and counting)


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