SELF-ish: A Transgender Awakening

by Chloe Schwenke

Overview

SELF-ish is a narrative drawn from an international life, beginning with some early glimpses out at the world by a girl in a boy’s body. Chloe Schwenke was raised as Stephen in a Marine Corps family, and was sent off at age fourteen to “man-up” at a military academy. Later—and still embodied as a man—she ventured abroad to work in some of the roughest regions of Africa, the Gaza Strip, Turkey, and many other locales. Her far-flung global journey was matched in intensity by an inner identity and spiritual struggle and the associated ravages of depression, before she came to the revelation of being a transgender woman. At a time when many Americans are just waking up to the reality of the transgender phenomenon, this portrayal of Chloe’s life, her challenging gender transition, and her many accomplishments and adventures along the way (including being among the first three transgender political appointees in U.S. history, under President Obama), creates a poignant story of authenticity, self-discovery, and the meaning of gender set against a fascinating international backdrop.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781597096089
Publisher:	Red Hen Press
Publication date:	05/04/2018
Pages:	260
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Chloe Schwenke is an openly transgender Quaker woman whose life’s journey includes living in five countries and working on projects in more than forty, mostly in Africa and the Middle East. As a human rights and peacebuilding activist, an international development practitioner, an academic, a former Obama Administration appointee, and the parent of two children, she has committed her life to assisting marginalized groups in some of the world’s most challenging countries. In 2013 she received the National Center for Transgender Equality’s National Public Service Award.

Table of Contents

Prologue 1

Self-Ishness and Authenticity

A Question of Sanity, a Journey of Choice 15

Testing Friendships 37

Approaching Sisterhood

Starting in the Third Basement 57

Separation, Divorce, and Then? 67

Destination: Sisterhood 77

Transgressing "No!"

Rejection 91

Stereotypes 100

Stardust, Golden, and Fired 112

Madam Professor 122

Authenticity and Oatmeal 131

Singing Messenger, Dancing Advocate-in Africa! 140

Owning A Past, Restarting A Life

Reincarnation 165

When I Was a Little (blank) 175

In Such a Place at Such a Time 185

Butler's Wretched Scripts 189

Girl Missing 194

Dreaming Acceptance 199

Renegotiating Roles 208

Transgender Life, Chloe Life

Still Parenting 221

Looking over the Parapet 226

Reasonable Expectations 233

Being Chloe, Being Human 238

Epilogue 243

Interviews

Interview in Quaker Speak : My Journey as a Transgender Quaker

Editorial Reviews

Interview in Quaker Speak: My Journey as a Transgender Quaker

Chloe Schwenke’s Self-ish offers an intelligent, thoughtful look at the complex journey that is gender transition, illuminating aspects of gender transition—such as the difficulties of job hunting, the process of forming and renegotiating friendships, and the intersection of trans identity and Quaker religious practice—that haven't received much attention in memoirs or the media.
—Joy Ladin, author of Through the Door of Life: A Jewish Journey Between Genders

Self-ish takes the reader through a powerful, heart-wrenching journey of the innumerable, daunting challenges of gender transition confronted by a transgender woman. It is ultimately also a story of extraordinary courage in persevering through formidable odds to be true to oneself. Schwenke underscores the moral, human and societal imperative to confront and ameliorate the challenges faced by transgender people, and others marginalized by mainstream society.
—Sanjay Pradhan, CEO, Open Government Partnership

What makes this story compelling is this push-pull of perspectives: the emerging identification as Chloe and diminishing association as Stephen. We identify with and root for Chloe—yet it’s like a horror movie for those closest to Stephen...Self-ish is a fascinating puzzle of identity.
—Master Michael Quinn, Gertrude Press

From the Publisher

05/15/2018
In her debut book, Schwenke takes readers on a journey from her childhood in a marine corps family, where she felt like a girl trapped in a boy's body, to her work as a senior advisor on democracy, human rights, and governance for Africa under the Obama administration. Although presented in narrative format, the writing at times comes across as a series of essays detailing the reality, and often struggles, of transitioning one's gender presentation in American society while simultaneously reflecting on the author's former life with her ex-wife and two children along with her spiritual journey as a Quaker. "In my distress I owned that authenticity, together with the satisfaction of having brought such a person into the lives of family and friends. For me, Chloe is worth it. For others, the arrival of Chloe is not always welcomed." Schwenke's story provides a personal perspective into the life of a person who transitioned in order to be true to herself. In many ways, her story raises questions and generates discussion regarding the future of gender definitions and norms. VERDICT A candid memoir that belongs on the shelves of all libraries.—Mattie Cook, Flat River Community Lib., MI

Library Journal