Self-Portrait with Nothing

by Aimee Pokwatka

Overview

Orphan Black meets Fringe in a story that reminds us that living our best life sometimes means embracing the imperfect one we already have.

"Fraught and deeply moving...the work of a genuinely exciting new talent." —Booker Prize winner, George Saunders.

“Aimee Pokwatka’s Self-Portrait with Nothing is tantalizing and elusive lacework, delicately balanced between the branches of fantasy, mystery and realism like a spider’s web.” —The New York Times

If a picture paints a thousand worlds . . .

Abandoned as an infant on the local veterinarian’s front porch, Pepper Rafferty was raised by two loving mothers, and now, at thirty-six is married to the stable, supportive Ike. She’s never told anyone that at fifteen she discovered the identity of her biological mother.

That’s because her birth mother is Ula Frost, a reclusive painter famous for the outrageous claims that her portraits summon their subjects’ doppelgängers from parallel universes.

Researching the rumors, Pepper couldn’t help but wonder: Is there a parallel universe in which she is more confident, more accomplished, better able to accept love?

A universe in which Ula decided she was worth keeping?

A universe in which Ula’s rejection didn’t still hurt too much to share?

Combining a thrilling pan-continental race against time with an authentic and touching personal drama, Self-Portrait with Nothing is an unforgettable debut that explores what it means to be part of a family.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250820846
Publisher:	Tor Publishing Group
Publication date:	10/18/2022
Pages:	304
Product dimensions:	8.20(w) x 5.40(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Aimee Pokwatka grew up in Wheeling, West Virginia. She studied anthropology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, and received her MFA in creative writing from Syracuse University. Her work has been published in Fairy Tale Review, Outlook Springs, Hunger Mountain, and elsewhere. She lives in New York with her family. SELF-PORTRAIT WITH NOTHING is her debut novel.

Editorial Reviews

07/11/2022

Pokwatka’s speculative debut straddles the line between sci-fi thriller and literary fiction. Enigmatic painter Ula Frost is missing and the only clues to her disappearance are the portraits she left behind, which are said to manifest an alternate version of the sitter from their universe into this one, often with tragic consequences. Forensic anthropologist Pepper Rafferty was abandoned on a doorstep as a baby and the consequences of that moment echo into Pepper’s present day: she’s “so terrified she’d inherited an instinct to abandon people that she tried to make them abandon her first.” After Pepper mysteriously inherits property from Ula, she follows the painter’s trail first to London and then Wrocław, Poland. Unlike most stories incorporating Many Worlds theory, Pokwatka focuses not on exploration or the mechanics of branching universes but on the emotional ramifications; Pepper spends much of the novel wondering about alternate, “better” versions of herself. But as she delves deeper into Ula’s disappearance and discovers a world of art heists and shady millionaires, Pepper learns to embrace her imperfections. The result is a deeply felt, introspective meditation on motherhood and the nature of the self. (Oct.)

Publishers Weekly

★ 08/01/2022

DEBUT A baby is abandoned in a dog bed on the front porch at the home of two female veterinarians, who quickly decide to keep the baby and name her Pepper. Pepper grows up at the veterinary clinic, learning to care for the animals. As a young teenager, Pepper observes Tilda Hogan, frequent visitor to the clinic and also sister to Ula Frost, a famous but reclusive portrait painter, inserting a package in the family mailbox that includes a large check for Pepper. From that moment, Pepper suspects that her biological mother is Ula, but relates her suspicions to no one. Ula paints self-portraits set in local landscapes, but with slight differences, such as including trees in a field that has no trees. Some claim that her portraits summon subjects from parallel universes. When Ula disappears, Pepper's subsequent hunt for her is affected by many weird and wonderful factors, including the possibility of a multiverse. VERDICT Pokwatka's debut is a unique and well-plotted story with many twists and turns. Recommended for science fiction fans, but it will also appeal to a wider audience.—Vicki L. Gregory

Library Journal

A New York Times Best Fantasy of 2022!

“A thrillingly inventive, highly original debut that manages to be both a compelling mystery story and a dazzling meditation on existence. Pokwatka’s particular gift is her ability to see a strange concept through to its conclusion.” —Booker Prize winner, George Saunders

“Aimee Pokwatka’s Self-Portrait with Nothing is tantalizing and elusive lacework, delicately balanced between the branches of fantasy, mystery and realism like a spider’s web.” —The New York Times

“Self-Portrait with Nothing is a thoughtful, beautiful contemplation on identity and how we build ourselves from all the bones we're given, both by the people who love us and by the people who leave us. How is this a first novel? Gorgeously drawn characters in a new and compelling setting, this is a beautiful book that deserves to be read.” —New York Times Bestseller, Seanan McGuire

“Pokwatka’s debut is a unique and well-plotted story with many twists and turns. Recommended for science fiction fans, but it will also appeal to a wider audience.” —Library Journal, starred review

“A deeply felt, introspective meditation on motherhood and the nature of the self.” —Publishers Weekly

“Self-Portrait with Nothing heralds a serious talent. It's a story that brims with life, ambition, and joy.” —Sarah Langan, author of Good Neighbors

“A beautiful debut about the people we aren’t and the paths we don’t pursue… Pokwatka’s voices are tantalizing and elusive. “ —The New York Times

“[Self-Portrait with Nothing] had me feeling less alone in my own multiverse. And then that ending, despite bittersweet aspects, had me feeling so full of joy to be alive and working to figure out my own happiness.” —Matthew Galloway at Anythink Libraries

From the Publisher

Jesse Vilinsky narrates this debut novel. Pepper loves her adopted mothers, but she's never revealed that she discovered the identity of her biological mother, Ula. Ula is a portrait artist who has found a way to access the multiverse by painting portraits. Through self-portraits with minor differences, she has created at least nine doppelgangers in alternative realities whom Pepper encounters when Ula goes missing. Vilinsky has a broad cast of characters, and she is adept at male and female voices. In searching for her mother, Pepper has adventures in Poland, for which Vilinsky showcases a Polish accent. Pepper stays in touch with her husband primarily through texts, which Vilinsky distinguishes from dialogue effectively. Vilinsky creates plenty of suspense in this quirky mystery-sci-fi mix. J.E.M. © AudioFile 2023, Portland, Maine

MARCH 2023 - AudioFile

Jesse Vilinsky narrates this debut novel. Pepper loves her adopted mothers, but she's never revealed that she discovered the identity of her biological mother, Ula. Ula is a portrait artist who has found a way to access the multiverse by painting portraits. Through self-portraits with minor differences, she has created at least nine doppelgangers in alternative realities whom Pepper encounters when Ula goes missing. Vilinsky has a broad cast of characters, and she is adept at male and female voices. In searching for her mother, Pepper has adventures in Poland, for which Vilinsky showcases a Polish accent. Pepper stays in touch with her husband primarily through texts, which Vilinsky distinguishes from dialogue effectively. Vilinsky creates plenty of suspense in this quirky mystery-sci-fi mix. J.E.M. © AudioFile 2023, Portland, Maine

MARCH 2023 - AudioFile