S.E.X., second edition: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties

S.E.X., second edition: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties

by Heather Corinna
S.E.X., second edition: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties

S.E.X., second edition: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties

by Heather Corinna

Paperback(Second Edition)

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The go-to sex ed guide for teens and young adults, tackling everything you want to know about sex, from consent, safe sex, emotional health and more, from the founder of scarleteen.com.

As a teen or emerging adult, dealing with all the changes going on in your life, body, and mind can be mighty overwhelming. When it comes to sex, everyone seems to have strong feelings and opinions about who you should be and what you should (shouldn't) do. How do you decide who to listen to? Heather Corinna and Scarleteen have provided sex education and information to millions of young people, parents, and mentors since 1998; S.E.X. tackles all the big topics:

  • Self-image and how to find and claim your own sexual self
  • How to best protect and support your sexual and emotional health
  • Sorting out gender and sexual identities, even when they're complicated and confusing
  • The latest on contraceptive methods and other reproductive choices, sexually transmitted infections, and safer sex
  • Finding, creating, and managing healthy and happy relationships
  • How to set and respect limits and boundaries, and rock consent
  • Identifying, preventing, or healing from abuse or assault
  • ...and much more.

Whatever your gender or sexual identity, whether you've already been actively exploring your sexuality or are only just getting curious, S.E.X clearly spells out what you need and want to know—no shame, no judgement, just comprehensive and accurate info in a clear, straightforward language.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780738218847
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 07/12/2016
Edition description: Second Edition
Pages: 480
Sales rank: 318,294
Product dimensions: 7.30(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.30(d)
Age Range: 14 - 18 Years

About the Author

Heather Corinna is a dedicated queer feminist activist, author, educator, artist, teacher, organizer and innovator. They are the founder and direction of Scarleteen (www.scarleteen.com), the first truly comprehensive sex, sexuality and relationships education online resource for young people, since 1998.

Heather is also the author of S.E.X: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties, now in its second edition. Their award-winning work in sex and health education has received acclaim from Roxane Gay, Emily Nagoski, Ms. Magazine, BUST, Bitch, On Our Backs, the New York Times, and the ACLU, and their essays, fiction, poetry and photography have appeared in publications such as Teen Vogue and The Guardian.

Heather is navigating middle age with as much grace as they can muster (spoiler: not much), and currently lives and works in their hometown of Chicago.

Table of Contents

Thank You xiii

Foreword xvii

Judy Norsigian and Wendy Sanford, cofounders, The Boston Women's Health Collective, and coauthors of Our Bodies, Ourselves

Who's Tills look for, Anyway? 1

A Foreword for Parents, Teachers, Mentors, and Other People Who Care About Teens and Emerging Adults

1 Pledge Allegiance … to Myself and the United State of My Sexuality: 11

An Introduction for Readers

2 Your Sexuality and Your Body: An Owner's Manual 14

What Is "Sexuality"? 14

What Can Be Part of Sexuality? 15

Circles of Sexuality 16

Let's Talk About Sex 19

Mega-Metamorphosis: Puberty 20

Braaaaaaaaiiiinnns 24

Tingly Bits 25

Reproductive and Sexual Anatomy: What's Up Down There? 26

Every Body's Got One 26

You've Got Some Nerve! 27

The Vulva, Vagina, and Uterus: From the Outside In 27

Clit Lit 28

Life on the Inside 30

The Menstrual Cycle. Period 33

Where Can Aunt Flo Go? Menses Management 35

When the Rag's a Drag 37

Breast Basics 39

The Penis and Testes: From the Outside In 41

The Foreskin (or Not) 42

Life on the Inside 43

Vasocongestion (aka Blue Balls) 47

Too Loose/Too Tight! Too Long/Too Short! Too Large/Too Small! Or, What Goldilocks and the Three Bears Have to Do with Your Genitals 48

What's "Normal" Down There? 55

3 The Problem with Perfect: Body Image: Or, Why Appearance Isn't All It Appears 56

Body linage 57

Ten Bodacious Ways to Boost Body Image 57

Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders 61

Don't Make a Mate a Minor 62

Who's at Risk of Disordered Eating, Body Image, or Self-Image Problems? 63

The Ideal Spiel 64

Whole Body/Whole Sexy 66

Viva la Revolución! 67

4 Sex Starts with You: Arousal, Orgasm, Masturbation, and Fantasy 69

Arousal and Orgasm: Human Sexual Response Coming and Going 69

The Basics of Sexual Response 70

Sexual Desire 70

Annual 71

Plateau 72

Orgasm 72

Resolution 74

Ejaculation 75

How Do You Tell If You've Had an Orgasm? What If You Just Can't Have One, Ever? 76

Buzzkills 77

Masturbation: A Sexual Solo 78

False and True 79

How Do You Masturbate? 80

Keeping It Safe 81

But Only Losers Masturbate! 82

How Much Is Too Much? 82

Fantasy Fodder: Sexual Fantasy 83

Which Fantasies Are Okay, and Which Aren't? 84

And Your First Sex Partner Is … ? 84

5 So Much More Than Either/Or: Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation 86

Genderpalooza! A Sex and Gender Primer 86

Beyond the Binary 91

Trans-lation 92

Transition 92

Gender Confirmation Surgery 93

Transphobia, Discrimination, and Bias 93

Gendermending 95

How to Be Transfriendly and Subvert Crummy Gender and Orientation Stereotypes in Five Easy Steps! 96

The Rainbow Connection: The Spectrum of Sexual Orientation 97

What Do All These Words Mean? 97

Feeling, Not Just Doing 101

How Do I Know if I'm? 102

To Be or Not to Be: Is Sexual Orientation a Choice? 102

What Does It Mean to Be Queer, Bisexual, or Pansexual? 105

"Bad" Words 106

Coming Out 108

A Basic How-To 110

6 You, Me, and Everyone Else: Big Outside Influences on Your Sexuality 116

Your Family 117

What Makes a Family? 119

Your Friends and Peers 120

How to Ask Family or Friends to Turn Down the Volume 122

Media 124

What's "Media"? 124

Not Just What, but How 127

Sexual Entertainment Media 128

Pornography: Not Realistic Since Ever 129

All/Most/Some Sexual Media or Entertainment 130

The Worst of Us, Sexified 131

How Should We Feel About Sexual Entertainment? 132

"They Saw It in Porn, So Now They Want and Expect It from Me" 134

Making Sense of External Messages and Hearing Your Own Voice 136

7 On Board the Relationship 139

Relationship Should Be a Verb 140

The Scariest Tiling on Earth (or So You'd Think): Rejection 140

Dating: Different, Not a Dinosaur 142

Relationship Models: What Works for You? 147

Closed or Open? 149

Dating and Relationships 3.0 153

How Do Yon Find a Fantastic Relationship, Anyway? 154

On the Other Hand 155

In-Person Big Plans: Made Best in Person 156

Basic Online Safely 156

Safety Dance! 158

When Run, Don't Walk Is the Catchphrase 158

Without a Map: Relationships Outside the Box 158

Those Three Little Words 163

The Test of Time: Long-Term Relationships 164

What's Typical in Long-Term Relationships? 165

Looking Toward the Future 167

In Conflict 168

Conflict Resolution: A Crash Course 169

Dysfunction Junction: The Crummy Stuff 171

The Great Escape 172

Adventures in Splitsville: Breakups and How to Deal 175

When Is It Time? 175

How Do You Do It? 176

Healthy/Unhealthy 176

The Mourning After 178

"Just" Friends? 180

8 To Be, or Not to Be … Sexually Active 182

"It" 184

The Sexual Readiness Checklist 186

Great Sexpectations 188

Get Real: Unrealistic Expectations and Scenarios 189

No Harm, No Foul: Limits and Boundaries 191

Consenting 192

A (Not So) Basic Consent How-To 194

Explicit Consent: Using Words 194

Nonexplicit Consent 196

Accepting and Respecting Nonconsent 199

Considering Your Ethics, Beliefs, Culture, and Values 200

What's the Right Age for Sex? 203

To Plan or Not to Plan, That's the Question 203

Lights, Camera, Action! 203

Worst-Case Scenarios 204

But Wait- 205

Being a Prude (and Other Really Crappy Names for Choosing Not to Be Sexually Active) 205

Intimacy: Bonding Basics 206

Are You Mental? Yes! 207

Virginity: Past and Present 207

So, Who's a Virgin and Who Isn't? 208

Be a Blabbermouth! Communicating with Partners About Sex 209

How to Talk About Sex 209

Speaking Your Own Language 212

Body of Evidence: Legal Issues and Your Sex Life 212

How to Work the System So It Doesn't Work You 221

9 Popular Mechanics: The Ins and Outs of Sex with Partners 223

Kissing 225

Petting/Massage 226

Mutual Masturbation 228

Frottage or "Dry Sex" 228

Manual Sex 229

Oral Sex: Cunnilingus 231

Oral Sex: Fellatio 231

Oral Sex: Analingus 232

Vaginal Intercourse 234

Hip to the Hype: Common Intercourse Problems and Expectations 236

Anal Sex/Intercourse 239

Sexting, Cybersex, or Phone Sex 242

Sensation Play 243

"Kinky" Sex 243

Role-Play 243

Bondage/Restraint 246

Body Fluid or Blood Play 247

Sex Toys 247

Yes, No, Maybe So: A What-You-Want-and-How-You-Want-It Sex Checklist 250

The Ol' Give-and-Take: Sexual Symmetry, Reciprocity, and Equality 255

Reciprocity, Reloaded 255

Sex and Obligation 256

Faking It 257

Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm or Feeling Aroused with a Partner? 257

Who's in Charge? 259

Sexual Differences vs. Sexual Incompatibility 259

Aftercare 260

"Queer" Sex and "Straight" Sex: What's the Diff? 260

Sex and Disability 261

The Popular Mechanics Roundup: The Five Most Important Things to Remember During Partnered Sex 262

10 Safe and Sound: Safer Sex for Your Body, Heart, and Mind 264

Taking Care Down There: Sexual Health Care 264

Your Business, Their Business: Healthcare Confidentiality and Privacy 265

Before Your First Sexual Health Appointment 266

Who Provides Sexual or Reproductive Health Care? 267

Sexual Health Care for Beginners 267

Sexual Healthcare Discrimination: Roadblocks to Good Health 273

DIY Sexual Health Care 276

Check Yourself Out! 277

Urinary Tract, Bacterial, and Yeast Infections 280

Safer Sex 101 285

Quick STI Risk Assessment 286

Practicing Safer Sex: A Lesson in Three Parts 287

Why Practice Safer Sex? 288

Safer Sex, Part One: Barriers and Other Gear 288

Condoms 288

Dental Dams 295

Safer Sex, Part Two: Testing and Annual Sexual Health Exams 297

Safer Sex, Part Three: Lifestyle Issues… 300

Easy Ways to Incorporate Safer Sex into Your Sex Life 302

"Don't You Trust Me?" 303

What If Your Partner Won't Practice Safer Sex? 304

What If You Do Get an STI? 305

How to Make Disclosing an STI Easier 307

11 Harm's Way: Abuse and Assault (and What You Can Do About Them) 310

The Ugly Truth: Statistics 312

More Vulnerable = More Vulnerable to Abuse 312

Types of Abuse 313

Abuse Does All This 318

"But I Love Them" 319

The Cycle of Abuse 320

Taking the Blinders Off; Identifying and Coping with Interpersonal Violence and Abuse 321

Listen, Tell, Leave 323

Breaking the Cycle 326

Protecting Yourself from Abusive Partners and Relationships 329

Can't Happen to You? 329

Protecting Each Other from Abuse 330

If You or Someone You Know Has Just Been Sexually Abused or Assaulted 331

Bystander Intervention Basics 332

Healing and Dealing 338

Healing 101 339

12 To Be or Not to Be … Pregnant: Contraception 344

No Birds, No Bees, No Bull: How Conception Really Happens 347

The Birth Control Breakdown 351

Abstinence 353

Barrier Methods 354

Condoms 355

Diaphragms and Cervical Caps 356

Contraceptive Sponge 358

Hormonal Methods 359

Combined Oral Contraceptives, aka the Pill or BCP 360

The Vaginal Ring 362

The Patch 363

The Injection (Depo-Provera) 364

The Implant 365

IUDs 366

Emergency Contraception (EC) 368

Birth Control Methods Not Generally Recommended for Young People 370

Withdrawal (aka "Pulling Out") 370

Fertility Charting/Natural Family Planning (FAM) 371

Permanent Birth Control (Sterilization) 373

What Isn't a Method of Birth Control? 373

It Doesn't Take a Village … but It's Awfully Nice to Have One: Birth Control Discussion with Partners and Parents 374

Discussion with Partners 374

Reproductive Choice, Sans Uterus 377

Discussions with Parents 380

13 Oh, Baby (or Not)! Reproduction and Reproductive Options 382

13 How Can You Tell If You're Pregnant? 382

How Long Have You Got to Decide? 383

Pregnancy and Delivery Basics 384

Labor Day 386

Miscarriage: What It Is and Why It Happens 388

Reproductive Options: Parenting, Adoption, and Abortion 391

Parenthood 391

Young Adult Parenting: Perils, Pitfalls, and Perks 391

If You're Considering Parenting 396

The Adoption Option 396

Abortion: Terminating a Pregnancy 398

Medical Abortion 398

Surgical Abortion 399

What to Expect During an Abortion 400

Unloading a Loaded Issue 402

To Tell or Not to Tell 404

How to Tell Partners and Parents About an Unexpected Pregnancy 404

Telling Partners 405

Telling Parents 407

For the "Dads" 408

Big Impacts, Big Choices 409

14 How to Change the World (Without Even Getting Out of Bed!) 411

Appendix A Common Sexually Transmitted Infections: STIs from A to Z 415

Appendix B Bibliography and Recommended Resources 428

The People in Your Neighborhood: Your DIY Local Resource Page 445

Index 447

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