Showing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace

Showing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace

by Ray Arata
Showing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace

Showing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace

by Ray Arata


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"In Showing Up, Ray Arata provides clear guidance on how to turn good intentions into action. I strongly recommend it to everyone interested in helping create a more equal and productive workplace." 

     —Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and founder of LeanIn.Org and OptionB.Org

A Revolutionary Step-by-step Guide—by and for Men—to Ending Toxic Masculinity

Organizations worldwide are finally realizing the critical importance of diversity, equity, and inclusivity (DEI) for underrepresented people. Men are being called to enact heart-based leadership, increase diversity, bolster the bottom line, and create a culture so everyone in the workplace wins. The Times Up, Me Too, and Black Lives Matter movements have been wake-up calls to all of us, but perhaps mostly for men. And It’s abundantly clear: the default model of masculinity isn’t working for anyone. For a new and healthier infrastructure, for permanent and transformational shifts, we need a plan that includes men.

Enter Ray Arata, a world-recognized industry expert on engaging men in workplace DEI. The founder of the Better Man Conference and co-founder of Better Man Leadership, Arata argues that mainstream gender training and its focus on the avoidance of toxic masculinity is not enough.

In Showing Up, you’ll discover the DIY method of heart-based leadership Ray has used with such companies as Verizon, Bloomberg, Moody's, Intel, Toyota, Hearst, and more—a male-modeled, real-solutions approach by and for men to increase diversity, bolster the bottom line, and create a culture so everyone in the workplace wins.

What you’ll get from this book:

  • Embrace healthy masculinity as a cornerstone of inclusionary leadership
  • Identify unhealthy masculine behaviors in the workplace—like "mansplaining," "manterrupting," and "manopolizing"
  • Adopt behavior modifications to become an inclusive leader and ally for underrepresented groups
  • Incorporate specific language to use in healthy discussions
  • Leverage power and position to elevate underrepresented groups

Showing Up is a “how-to” book for men in organizations seeking to be better allies and leaders. The book also gives guidance to HR, Diversity & Inclusion Professionals on how to engage their men in diversity efforts.

Unlike other ally work which is often heady and data-driven, Arata provides a road map for supporting men to be authentic, vulnerable, and accountable including:

  • Six Principles of heart-based Leadership
  • Four steps of the Ally’s Journey
  • The Better Man Pledge
  • The Five States of men in organizations

With stories that illuminate common missteps, followed by key learning sections, and deep-dive training exercises to support the development of allyship, Showing Up turns good intentions into specific actions you can implement immediately.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781635769111
Publisher: Diversion Books
Publication date: 01/04/2022
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 1,128,635
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Ray Arata is an award-winning leader in the field of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), specifically known for his work in engaging men as allies. The founder of Better Man Movement LLC, he is a sought-after speaker, consultant, and trainer who delivers keynotes and facilitates trainings for massive global clients, such as PWC, StubHub, Genentech, eBay, Walgreens, Sierra Club, Google, Bloomberg, and many more.

Ray’s Better Man Conference (as seen in Forbes, The Good Men Project, and Fortune) is an international industry-leading event that focuses on the development of healthy masculinity and men as allies and partners. With locations in London, New York City, and San Francisco, the conference draws almost 200 major organizations annually.

Ray was recognized in 2016 with a HeForShe Champion for Change award by UN Women, and honored with the Ron Herring 2020 award (originally named for the ManKind Project, a global network of charitable foundations).

Ray lives in Fairfax, California, and can be found online at and

Table of Contents

Introduction ix

Chapter 1 Set to Win 1

Chapter 2 Too Often Excluded Voices of Masculinity 23

Chapter 3 Simple Steps to Take Right Now 35

Chapter 4 Step One of the Ally's Journey: Acknowledge Your Stuff 65

Chapter 5 Step Two of the Ally's Journey: Listen, Really 103

Chapter 6 Step Three of the Ally's Journey: Take Responsibility 121

Chapter 7 Step Four of the Ally's Journey: Think, Talk, and Act Like an Ally 141

Chapter 8 The Multiyear Game Plan 163

Afterword: Where You Go from Here 185

Acknowledgments 193

Selected References 197

Index 199

About the Author 205

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