Sticky Teams: Keeping Your Leadership Team and Staff on the Same Page

by Larry Osborne

Overview

Learn the secrets to building and maintaining a healthy, productive, and unified ministry team that sticks together for the long haul.

Serving as a church leader can be a tough calling. Whatever your role, odds are you've known your share of the frustration and disillusionment that comes with turf battles, conflicting vision, and marathon meetings. You may have asked yourself, "How did it get this way?"

With twenty years of front-line ministry experience, Larry Osborne understands congregations (as baffling as they can sometimes be) and he know how the best-intentioned teams can become disrupted and disunified. With this book, he aims to shore up the foundation of a healthy team—what does a unified and thriving church leadership look like and how can it be achieved?

Sticky Teams is divided into three main sections, dealing with key aspects of what it takes to develop long-term, efficient harmony:

• Landmines and Roadblocks exposes the organizational structures, policies, and traditions that can unintentionally sabotage even the best of teams. You'll discover strategies for managing conflicts and getting around obstacles.
• Equipped for Ministry explores what it takes to get everyone on the same page and headed in the same direction. Chapters deal with practical tips for board, staff, and congregational alignment.
• Communication examines what it takes to keep everyone on the same page, with a special emphasis on some especially dicey areas and issues of ministry, such as conversations about money.

Whatever your situation; from start-up phase, to mid-sized, to megachurch, Osborne has been there. As the pastor of North Coast Church, he's walked his board, staff, and congregation through the process of becoming more genuinely unified, and, because of that, better able to carry out God's design for his church.

With warm encouragement and insight, he shares expertise that most pastors and leadership teams learn only from long experience: how to invest the time to create church harmony and how to lead so that unity is maintained long-term.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780310324645
Publisher:	Zondervan
Publication date:	04/11/2010
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	412,633
Product dimensions:	7.90(w) x 5.30(h) x 0.70(d)
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Larry Osborne is a teaching pastor at North Coast Church in northern San Diego County. North Coast is widely recognized as one of the most influential and innovative churches in America. Osborne speaks extensively on the subjects of leadership and spiritual formation. His books include Sticky Teams, Sticky Church, 10 Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe, and Spirituality for the Rest of Us. He and his wife, Nancy, live in Oceanside, California.

Read an Excerpt

Sticky Teams

Keeping Your Leadership Team and Staff on the Same Page

---

By Larry Osborne

Zondervan

Copyright © 2010 Larry Osborne
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-310-32464-5

---

Chapter One

The Unity Factor

The One Thing That Can't Be Left to Chance

I GREW UP IN a Christian home. My dad was a deacon. I have no idea how I ever got saved.

It's not that dad and mom were hypocritical. They were anything but. It's just that, well, Dad was a deacon. And that was enough to show me the dark side of church. It taught me early on that serving as a lay leader can be a tough assignment filled with late-night meetings, petty squabbles, acrimonious debates, and worse.

In addition, one of my best friends was the pastor's son. When the church went through a split, my family was on the other side. It was ugly, really ugly.

So I found it rather bizarre when God called me to become a pastor. I'm still not sure why I didn't pull a Jonah.

When I became the pastor of North Coast Church, the church was just three years old. I was twenty-eight. The founding pastor had recently moved on to further his schooling. But since he was a good friend of mine (he'd been an usher in my wedding) and the congregation was small, I figured it would be a rather seamless transition.

I must have been smoking something.

Six months in, I wasembroiled in controversy. Attendance was steadily shrinking. Worse, the board and I were having a hard time seeing eye-to-eye on anything. I literally lay awake at night wondering what I'd do when they finally asked me to leave, or when the church split, or when a congregational meeting turned raucous.

Fortunately, none of those things happened.

Instead, with God's help, a once divided board and splintered congregation (I didn't have a staff to mess up, or that too would have been a disaster) became a tightly knit leadership team in a church now widely known for its health and unity. Along the way, I learned a ton of lessons. But none was more important than this simple truth: A unified and healthy leadership team doesn't just happen. It has to be a priority.

Why Worry about Unity?

I don't think it's an accident that Jesus predicted church growth but prayed for unity. If left unattended or taken for granted, unity quickly disappears. Unity is the one thing that can't be left to chance. You'd think I would have known that based on my early church experiences. But I didn't.

That's because I chalked up conflict to sin, and of course when I quarreled with somebody, most of the sin was on "their" part. I had no idea that organizational disunity was more the norm than the exception. I had no clue that personality differences, differing perspectives, and even organizational structures could cause good people to do bad things.

I should have.

From Aaron and Miriam's harsh criticism of Moses, to Paul and Barnabas's heated argument and eventual split over John Mark, to Euodia and Syntyche's sharp clash at Philippi, to last week's big mess at First Church, God's people and God's leaders have had a hard time getting along. It's nothing new.

But I thought we would be different. I assumed that as long as we put good people on the team and stayed focused on the Lord and the Great Commission, harmony would naturally follow. If you would have told me to slow down and focus on camaraderie and unity, I would have chided you for your self-centered, holy-huddle approach to ministry. We had a world to conquer and disciples to make.

I was wrong. I didn't realize the power organizational problems have to create and exasperate spiritual problems.

As things steadily got worse, it finally dawned on me that we were never going to change the world out there if we couldn't solve the conflicts in here. So I did something I never thought I'd do. I set aside all of my ministry and church-growth goals and, for the next two and a half years, focused on molding a cohesive leadership team. I made it my number one priority.

It was a move made out of desperation, but it was one of the best moves I ever made. It changed everything. So much so that to this day I consider maintaining the unity of our board and our staff as one of my most important leadership priorities, far ahead of other worthy goals-including even evangelism, church growth, and community outreach-because without unity, everything else falls apart.

But unity doesn't just happen. You have to work at it day after day, because if you don't, it quickly slips away. And once it does, it won't matter how clear your vision is or how gifted your team is. When the foundation rots, it's not long until the whole house collapses.

It All Starts with the Board

When it comes to building a healthy and unified ministry team, it all starts with the board. As the board goes, so goes the rest of the church.

Mark my words. If the board room is a war zone, it doesn't matter what kind of revival you're having in the sanctuary. If the infighting continues, it won't be long until there's a coup d'état or a resignation. I guarantee it.

That's what happened to my friend Brian. When he took over a struggling church, he assumed that the unanimous call of the board meant that everyone was ready to move on to the next level. He came armed with vision, ideas, and a game plan to get there.

What he didn't take into account was the close friendship that two of his board members maintained with the previous pastor. When Brian began to make changes, they took each one as a personal affront to his predecessor. They began to resist nearly everything he proposed.

From the congregation's viewpoint, things were great. After years of decline, attendance and giving were way up. Young families poured in. Evangelism and community impact were at an all-time high.

But that's not the way the board saw it. Poisoned by the continual complaints of the two ringleaders, they catastrophized every complaint and criticism they heard from an unhappy parishioner. The difference between their perspective and the congregation's was amazing. The board thought the church was on the edge of disaster. The congregation thought it was on the edge of revival.

But no matter how much affirmation Brian received from the congregation, no matter how many people came to Christ, no matter how fast the church grew, it was still the board to whom he reported. They set his salary, approved or vetoed his ideas, and controlled much of what he could and could not do.

After five years of frustration and constant battling, Brian finally quit. He and his wife decided life was too short to spend it skirmishing with the very people who were supposed to have his back. The congregation never saw it coming. They were in total shock. Before it was over, the church was decimated, a mere shell of what it had been under his ministry.

Sadly, Brian's story is not unique. It's all too common. I've heard it time after time. My guess is that you have too. But I've seldom, if ever, heard the opposite: a riled up congregation driving out a pastor who has a supportive and unified board.

That's because as the board goes, so goes the rest of the church. And that's why I always recommend focusing on unifying your board, even before the staff and the congregation. Your board needs to be healthy, unified, and working together, because otherwise, everything else soon goes south.

The Unseen Realm

There's another reason why unity, not only within the board but also among the staff and congregation, needs to be a priority.

(Continues...)

---

Excerpted from Sticky Teams by Larry Osborne Copyright © 2010 by Larry Osborne . Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

---

Table of Contents

Foreword 13

Acknowledgments 17

Introduction: Sticky Teams; What Makes Them Different? 19

What sticky teams do

The power of genuine unity and cohesiveness

Fighting fair, sticking together

Why healthy and unified teams are so hard to come by

Why I wrote this book

Three groups that absolutely must work together

1 The Unity Factor: The One Thing That Can't Be Left to Chance 23

Why it's a shocker that I got saved and called into ministry

Why unity is worth worrying about

Where to start

Brian's sad story

Achan's big mistake and what it teaches us about unity

Defining unity

Hot buttons and hot flashes

Deciding what you won't fight over

The difference between friends and strangers

Philosophical unity and why it matters big time

Part 1 Landmines and Roadblocks: The Traditions, Policies, and Structures That Unintentionally Sabotage Unity

2 Why Boards Go Bad: Structured for Conflict 35

My first board meeting

The dumbest debate ever

The five biggest roadblocks to unity

Why location matters

What happens when you sit on my couch

Let's be friends

Who would run a business this way? Who would want to run anything this way?

The two most powerful people in any large decision-making group

Is this what Paul had in mind?

Family systems: boredom personified

Why I smiled when a board member cried

3 Guarding the Gate: No Guts, No Unity 47

Winning teams need winning players

Why it's so hard to get rid of a loser

Protecting the board gate

Speak up or shut up

Why representatives make for bad board members

The "no theys" rule

The only question that matters

Pit bulls for Jesus

Philosophical alignment

Why the best players sometimes make bad team members

Protecting the staff gate

Good enough usually isn't

Why résumés always look better than people

Why giftedness is overrated

4 What Game Are We Playing? How Growth Changes Everything 61

Bible verses and straitjackets

Surviving an attempted coup

How track, golf, basketball, and football parallel the changes in a growing organization and why leaders and teams who don't adapt pay such a high price

Todd's frustration

Two signs that the game has changed but nobody got the memo

Why changes sneak up on us

Why adding people and programs multiplies complexity

One thing Tiger Woods will never do

5 Six Things Every Leadership Team Needs to Know: Axioms to Lead By 73

The six urban legends of leadership

Why most of your weaknesses don't matter

Why surveys are a waste of time

The myth of buy-in and why it kills innovation

The truth about squeaky wheels and why you don't want to oil them

When it's time for a nice Christian burial

Fuzzy budgets and flexible policies, why you need them and why control freaks can't stand them

6 Clarifying the Pastor's Role: Why Leadership Matters 87

Why the best role for a pastor depends on the pastor and the church

A bad day at the pancake house

Whose church is it?

The power of time and commitment

Why so many people see their pastor as an outsider

Determining who's best qualified to lead

The power of time and training

Pastors who can't lead

Harnessing a strong leader

The power of a first draft

Why secrets kill

Leading and listening

7 Clarifying Board and Staff Roles: Why Teamwork Matters 101

Cutting off conflict before it occurs

The changing role of the board

From doing to approving?

When reviewing makes sense

Setting North Star direction and boundaries

The curse of micromanagement

What if your church goes mega?

When staff roles must change

Generalist to specialist

Doing to empowering

No more silos

Hamstrung on purpose

8 Making Room at the Top: Why Young Eagles Don't Stay 113

The strange case of the ever-shrinking freshmen

What happens when the seniors never graduate

Leadership is a zero-sum game and why that leaves little room at the top

Three key questions

Why empowerment needs a platform

How a name change changed everything

Why I used to come back from vacation a day early

In the loop or in the meeting?

Who gets to ride shotgun?

Tenure or talent?

The power of a zero-based retreat

Part 2 Equipped for Ministry: Getting Everyone on the Same Page

9 Equipped to Lead: Lobbying isn't Training 127

The difference between lobbying and training and why it matters

The danger of educational separation

Why short devotions don't help mush

What a direct-mail copywriter taught me about ministry

Why training always works best when it stands alone

When most people do their best thinking

Why the process is more important than the content

Why boring is not always bad

Why John's company would have been shocked

10 Board Alignment: The Power of an Extra "Shepherds' Meeting" 139

The three important things most boards never have time to do

Why an extra meeting makes for better meetings

The ideal environment for leadership and ministry training

Why on-the-job training is the best kind of training

Why prayer works best in a separate meeting

How time and growth change things

When the names have no faces

11 Staff Alignment: Plumb Lines and Assumptions 149

Why staff alignment used to be a breeze

Road trips, hyper dogs, and scenic routes and what they have to do with leading a multiple staff

How to deal with a geeked-up zealot

Why generic is worthless and politically correct is incorrect

Why effective leaders are almost always weird and what they should do about it

A coach who didn't care about potential and how that helped him produce a national champion

Mission statements and mission creep

The difference between plumb lines and wish lists

12 Congregational Alignment: Preempting Conflict 159

An argument in the parking lot

Five tools for congregational alignment

Why so many mission statements sit in a drawer somewhere

Thinning the herd with a front-loaded pastor's class

From crossed arms to nodding heads

The drip method of preaching

Sermon-based small groups

Short and sweet congregational meetings

Why you never want to give a moron a microphone

Why a three-week meeting results in a shorter meeting

Part 3 Communication: Keeping Everyone on the Same Page

13 Change Diplomacy: Minimizing Conflict and Chaos 171

The dark years

What "I love you in the Lord" really means

Why churches and horses are a lot alike

Why resistance to change isn't a spiritual problem

One thing politicians can teach pastors

Why resisters can be an innovator's best friend

Why VMTP was a great name

God and last night's pizza

Choose who you lose

Monogrammed shirts and flip-flops

14 Setting Salaries: Investment or Expense? 183

Why setting ministry salaries is a lot like a junior high dance

The vital need for honest feedback

Why too much salary is seldom a good thing

The most important comparison: replacement cost

School teachers and company presidents, where does your pastor fit in?

What if more money comes in?

Are staff members an investment or an expense?

How to tell the difference

15 Talking about Money: Assumptions, Facts, and a Savings Account 191

Are you flying blind?

Is it a sin to have a savings account?

The one thing a crisis and an opportunity never send ahead of time

Should a pastor know who gives what?

Why I changed my mind

A strange email

Why facts make for better plans

Smoking out the winners

Thanking donors

Is your church playing with one hand tied behind its back?

16 When Things Go Wrong: Telling the Truth When the Truth Is Hard 201

Some letters you never want to write

Moral failures

Is your paradigm family or justice?

The worst board meeting of my life, at least so far

The first two questions everyone wants to know in a financial crisis

God-talk or straight talk?

Why C players are so hard to get rid of

Why pumping sunshine is never a good idea

Conclusion: Final Thoughts: Sticky Teams and the Gates of Hell 211

Beyond platitudes and wishful thinking

What Paul and Barnabas can teach us about the impact of "loving Jesus" on staff harmony

Exposing the elephants in the room

Why I'm an optimist even when confronted by a pit-bull board member, an Absalom on the staff, or a congregation full of crazies

Discussion Questions 213

Notes 222

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“A must-read for any leader who cares about unity. The last words of Jesus’ prayer have to be our first priority as church leaders. The truth is, we don’t think we need to know how to guard unity in our teams until we don’t have unity in our closest relationships. I know firsthand what disunity feels like. In our fast-growing (Baby Huey, thanks Larry) church, we didn’t guard what was most important. Thanks to Larry’s friendship and wisdom, I got to live this book before I read it. Any leader who cares about the local church must make this book and its principles a high priority. Unity will cost you, but not having it will cost you so much more. Thank you, Larry, for believing in what Jesus died for. Sticky teams are high priority for Living Hope! A team that doesn’t stick together won’t stay together. ONLY GOD!” — John Bishop

“Advice can come from the ivory tower of speculation, or it can come from the trenches of experience. Pastor Larry Osborne shares what he’s learned in the trenches and has applied successfully at North Coast Church. He addresses issues that are often avoided, from setting salaries to handling a church board to firing underperforming staff. Larry successfully leads a church through a highly effective ‘sticky team.’ You’ll want one for your church, and Larry will help you get it.” — Ron Forseth

“As I read through an advance copy of Sticky Teams, two words and a phrase repeated in my mind. The words? ‘Profoundly simple.’ Larry has a gift to take the profound and make it easy to understand. As a pastor, I need that. The phrase? ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’ Again and again, I reflected on situations that I’ve encountered as a pastor struggling to lead different types of teams, wishing that I’d thought of Larry’s profoundly simple advice. If you relate to boards, lead a staff, or are thinking about starting a church, seriously, this ought to be one of the first books you consider purchasing.” — Greg Surratt

“For a couple of years now, I’ve sounded like a broken record. Whenever someone has asked me how to handle some tricky situation around our church, I’ve pulled out old notes from conversations with Larry Osborne and said, ‘Well, Larry would recommend we . . . ’. Larry seems to have faced every conceivable tension point a pastor of a growing church is likely to encounter. The lessons he learned along the way have been refined through decades of fruitful ministry and poured into this intensely practical book. I am so stoked that I no longer have to dig up old notes. I merely have to hand out copies of Sticky Teams.” — Noel Heikkinen

“Frustrated about what you didn’t learn early in your ministry? It seems that all of the young leaders I engage with want Larry Osborne as their mentor. Sticky Teams contains the best thinking about practical church leadership that you will find today. Highly recommended for lead pastors and governing boards to work through together.” — Dave Travis

“I love Larry Osborne’s style of frontal attack. No innuendos or subtleties—only straight–up, experience-based principles. Sticky Teams leaves no stone unturned, addressing every aspect of organizations with commonsense, pragmatic solutions that can be used today and in the days ahead. Larry will challenge you while leading you. Get ready for a new day with your team; every team member needs to read this. Get ready for change; reading this book is the first step toward having sticky teams.” — Dr. Samuel R. Chand

“I loved this book. In my opinion, no one has more practical, down-to-earth but Spirit-filled wisdom than Larry Osborne. Larry has been a valuable mentor in my life. He has really helped us develop the leadership culture at The Summit Church.” — J. D. Greear, Ph.D.

“I wish every pastor, church board member, and staff member would consider this book required reading. Larry shares in a very clear and compelling way his wisdom about how pastors, board, and staff relate to one another as team members. His valuable insights could save so many church leaders and churches from serious problems. More important, church leaders and their churches will learn to be more focused on Christ’s mission. Read the book, then discuss it with other leaders. It will impact your leadership effectiveness.” — Mel Ming

“If you’re looking for a book on church leadership filled with philosophies and theory, then Sticky Teams isn’t for you. If you are looking for practical, sound, biblical strategies to be a better leader, then Sticky Teams will not disappoint. I am convinced this book will sharpen me as a leader and make the church I serve a healthier, more-effective place.” — Toby Slough

“If you’ve you ever been frustrated with how hard it is to keep everyone on the same page, if you’ve left a team meeting thinking, ‘That was a waste of time,’ if you’ve ever thought that the team meetings you were leading had all the excitement of chewing on cardboard, then this book is for you. It is so practical and filled with common sense you’ll find yourself saying, ‘That’s so true. How come I’ve never heard anyone say that before?’ Building a team is one thing; keeping that team on the same page is quite another matter. This book will help you do both.” — Chris Dolson

13

14

15