Stop Missing Your Life: How to be Deeply Present in an Un-Present World

by Cory Muscara

Overview

Many of us live on autopilot, often so guarded that we don't experience the richness that life has to offer–so how can we find real happiness amid the chaos, so we don't reach the end of our life and feel like we missed it?

In Stop Missing Your Life, mindfulness teacher Cory Muscara takes us on a journey into the heart of what is required for real change, growth, and happiness. He exposes how the phrase "be present" has become little more than a platitude, imbued with the misguided message to be present just for the sake of being present, and reveals how to achieve true Presence: a quality of being that is unmistakably attractive about a person, and one that only comes when we've peeled back the layers of guarding that prevent us from being our full, honest, and integrated selves in the world.

Muscara shows how we build internal walls, what he describes as a "Pain Box" inhibiting us from living a deeply connected and meaningful life. He offers a four-part FACE model (Focus, Allow, Curiosity, and Embodiment) that helps chip away at those walls and builds our capacity to experience the richness of our lives Stop Missing Your Life ultimately teaches how we can find peace in the chaos and become better people for our families, our communities, and our world.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780738285290
Publisher:	Hachette Books
Publication date:	12/31/2019
Pages:	256
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Cory Muscara is an international speaker and teacher on the topics of presence and well-being. He has taught mindfulness-based leadership at Columbia University, and currently serves as an instructor of positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. In 2012, Cory spent six months in silence living as a monk in Burma, meditating 14+ hours each day, under the instruction of Sayadaw U Pandita. Cory's meditations have been heard more than 10 million times in over 50 countries. He brings these teachings to people in a practical and usable way, presenting to schools, organizations, and healthcare systems, as well as through workshops and retreats for the general public. Cory is from Long Island, New York.

Table of Contents

Preface xi

Introduction: From "Present" To "Presence" 1

Part 1 Why Presence Isn't Easy

Chapter 1 Being Human Is Hard 11

The Trauma of Life 14

When Life Shocks You 17

Breaking Down While Growing Up 21

Chapter 2 The Risk of Being You 25

The Pain Box s 29

Spiritual Bypassing 32

The Myth of Catharsis 34

Safety: The Linchpin of Presence 36

Part 2 How to Build and Deepen Presence

Chapter 3 Mindfulness & Meditation 41

I Don't Care About Meditation, and Neither Should You 42

Mindfulness: Your Innate Superpower 45

Mental Fitness 48

Practice Makes Presence 50

FACE: The Pillars of Presence 57

Chapter 4 Focus-Stabilize Your Mind 59

Shifting out of Autopilot 60

Focus Is Freedom 63

Drop the Story, Drop the Stress 68

Chapter 5 Allowing-Permission to Be Human 79

The Cycle of Push-Pull 81

The Paradox of Invincibility 85

Statue Meditation 87

But I Can't Just Allow Everything…Right? 91

Chapter 6 Curiosity-The Opposite of Fear 97

Experience x Curiosity = Wisdom 98

Your Mind Wants You to Be Happy 103

How to Focus on the Journey, Not the Destination 106

Chapter 7 Embodiment-Your Gateway to the Present 111

What We Can All Learn from the Menstrual Cycle 113

My Big, Fat, Sicilian Nose 116

Body Scan Meditation-Learning to Feel 120

Part 3 Bringing Presence to Life

Chapter 8 How to Change and Grow 131

You're Walking a Cow Path 132

Why Do You Do What You Do? 135

Letting Go 139

Sometimes We're Mush 142

Chapter 9 Become Your Own Best Friend 145

Reclaiming Your Shadow 147

Good-Enough Healing 153

Nurture the Positive 154

Living in Alignment 161

Chapter 10 Commitment to Connection 165

Intimacy-Beyond Sex and Romance 167

But If You Knew the Real Me… 168

Intimacy Takes Time 171

Circling-A Relational Meditation Practice 173

The Highest Form of Connection 179

Chapter 11 Time, Technology, and Day-To-Day Presence 183

Formal Practice 184

Informal Practice 192

Getting Wise with Your Smartphone 193

Conclusion 205

Coming Home 207

Acknowledgments 211

Sources 215

Index 219

Editorial Reviews

"This down-to-earth, clear, and compassionate book is one of the best distillations of the benefits of mindfulness I've ever read. It will help you savor the good in your life as well as bring out the immense good that already lies within you. Stop missing the wonder, beauty, and connection in your life and read this book right now!"—Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD, professor ofPsychology at Columbia University and host of The Psychology Podcast

"If you ever worry that you've become more of a 'human doing' than a human being — STOP the madness, put down your screen and READ THIS BOOK NOW! Cory Muscara is a great new voice bringing effort, insight, and humility to his wonderful discoveries of how to live a more satisfying life."—Sarah Robb O'Hagan, executive, activist andauthor of Extreme YOU: Step Up, Stand Out, Kick Ass, Repeat

"If you're going to learn about presence, learn it from someone who spent six months in silence living as a monk! Cory is the real deal, and his book is packed with practical, innovative strategies to help you stop living on autopilot and find real happiness."—Larry King, host of Larry King Now

"Reading this book is like developing a new friendship. Cory's voice is so engaging, so intimate, so real that you'll forget that you haven't actually met him. He is not afraid to say that these practices will thoroughly change your life, so get ready and take the leap."—Mirabai Bush, cofounder, Center for Contemplative Mind in Society, and coauthor of Walking Each Other Home (with Ram Dass)

"Engaging, relatable, and full of wisdom, this book will help you develop the mental fitness (and heart) to step outside your comfort zone and into your best life."—Colin O'Brady, four-time world record holder, first person to cross Antarctica solo, unsupported and unassisted

"Cory Muscara is a gifted teacher who guides readers on a journey of developing deep presence—a way of being that goes beyond the popular notion of 'just be present.' Wise, funny, and full of concrete tips, this book is like going on a retreat with a sure-footed guide."—Emily Esfahani Smith, author of The Power of Meaning

From the Publisher