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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781546226932 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | AuthorHouse |
| Publication date: | 02/01/2018 |
| Pages: | 254 |
| Product dimensions: | 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.58(d) |
About the Author
R.L. Canning can be found on twitter @CanningRL
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Although it had only been a couple of hours since Paige had left Holden standing alone at the airport in Vancouver, she had had plenty of time to reflect on her life with him. She couldn't have imagined how her life could change so much because of one person. She thought of the time they spent together and how close they had become. It had all moved so quickly, from their first date at Phantom of the Opera, to moving to Vancouver together and leaving her friends and family -her whole life- behind. She began to wonder if she was making the right choice, and her conclusion changed with every memory of their time together. She had many reasons to stay and just as many, in her opinion, to leave. Holden had become her best friend, and she loved being with him, but she felt she had lost herself completely in the move.
She caught herself crying more than once. Even her seatmate, an elderly gentleman, noticed her tears, but he assumed it was because she was scared of flying. Instead of getting into a lengthy story about her life and the recent decisions that found her sitting next to him on the aircraft, a story she was sure that he didn't care about, she agreed it was the flight that was upsetting her. Her lie was partially correct though, because the plane was taking her further and further from her true love with every passing mile.
After a long and agonizing flight, the pilot finally made the announcement to prepare for landing. Before she knew it, the wheels of the 737 touched down with the familiar screech and the plane began off- loading. Paige made the lonely walk down the Jet way knowing no one would be there to greet her, and feeling that much emptier. Her parents and Sunshine, a friend and co-worker she had met at the gentleman's club, were the only ones who knew that she was coming home, but they all had plans that couldn't be broken.
As she approached the baggage carousel, she saw a young man holding a sign that read "Paige." Curious, she walked towards him, and in almost a whisper, said, "I'm Paige."
She spoke with an inflection that made her statement sound like more of a question. He looked at her.
"Did you just get here from British Columbia, and do you know a Holden?"
"Yes"
"These are for you," he said, as he handed her a bouquet of Gerbera daisies, Paige's favourite flower. Each flower had a metal skull pushed into their centre, a small detail that he knew she would love. Immediately, she began to cry, once again convincing herself she had made a mistake in leaving him. She took the flowers and was fumbling for a tip when the young man stopped her.
"Everything is taken care of ma'am. I am to help you with your bags and take you to your destination."
Paige was overwhelmed at the length Holden would go to help her, despite the fact that she knew she had broken his heart.
They grabbed her bags and he led her to his luxury car. As the city passed by on their way to Sunshine's meagre apartment, her spirits began to rise.
The sites became more familiar, and she felt more at home. Paige used Sunshine's spare key and began settling in. She barely had time to take off her coat before she set up her laptop to see if Holden was online.
* * *
The drive home from dropping Paige off was the longest of Holden's life. He thought about the love of his life, he wondered where it had gone wrong, and what he could have done to change things. At a loss, he fought back tears and focused on driving. Although he took the same route he had taken to the airport, the drive home seemed much longer.
Once he got home, he looked around at his partially empty condo. It seemed so big and bare without Paige. It was undoubtedly going to take some time getting used to the fact that she was gone. Everything reminded him of her; her dishes from breakfast still sat on the counter and the scent of her perfume still filled the air. He looked at his watch and wondered what stage of the flight she would be in. Taking a seat on the couch, he let out a deep sorrowful sigh and before he knew it, he fell into an exhausted sleep.
He woke to the sound of a new Facebook message. Startled he looked around, wondering how long he had been asleep. It was a message from Paige.
"Hi, are you there? I am in Toronto now."
Holden stared at the screen. He wanted to respond, but wasn't sure if he could or even if he should. He knew he was only kidding himself though; he had never been able resist Paige.
"How was the flight?" he typed.
"Long, thank you so much for arranging a ride."
"No problem, where are you now?"
"At Sunshine's, I'm staying with her for a few weeks."
"Sunshine's, eh?"
"Yes, Sunshine's, don't worry Holden things will be fine." She wanted to reassure him. She knew that he, along with her entire family, blamed Sunshine for being a bad influence on her, and getting her into dancing in the first place. Although Sunshine had planted the idea of stripping in a young Paige's mind, the decision to actually take the stage was solely hers. At the time she was looking for a new identity, to find out who she was and to explore her newly discovered sexuality.
"I know, I trust you Paige, I just worry about you."
"I'll be okay, I promise. Mom and Dad also offered me my old room back, but I couldn't possibly move back home, how much would that suck? Also, Chelsea has an apartment for college now, I could live with her."
"Any idea when you're coming home?" Holden asked hopefully.
Holden, I told you, I don't know, please don't make me feel bad about this decision."
Don't make her feel bad? He thought that statement was unfair but decided not to push the issue in case he chased her away for good.
"Okay, well, I hope you find what you're looking for. I should go."
She could see he was upset and she felt terrible about it, but in her mind, the only way for them to move into the future was for her to clear her head, and for now, that meant time apart. She was worried that he may get frustrated and move on, but she knew that was a chance she would have to take.
"Ok Holden, will you be back on later tonight? I have a surprise for you."
"Ya, I might be around," he said trying to sound nonchalant.
"Great, talk to you then. I love you."
"Love you too."
Holden's chat window closed and Paige sat back in her chair. She was now completely alone in her new place, with just her thoughts. A tear began to form in the corner of her eye. She hated that he was hurting so much, that he was so far away and that she had the power to fix it, but at what cost. She decided to preoccupy herself, so she began to unpack and then took a nap.
Paige woke to the sound of an obviously drunk Sunshine crashing through the door. Sunshine worked the early shift at the club where she danced, and now she was ready to go out. She hugged Paige, and as she told her about her shift, she went to the fridge, grabbed a beer, and offered one to Paige.
"No thanks, I'm not really in the mood."
"Come on Paige, you know you want one, besides, it'll take your mind off of what's his name."
"No, seriously, I really don't feel like drinking."
"Whatever. I'm going out with some guys I met at the club, wanna come? A good lay will do you good."
"Sunshine, I just got here. I need to unpack and think about things. Besides, you know I couldn't do that, I'm still technically with Holden."
"Technically you're not with him, you need to move on. You're back home now."
Paige thought about Sunshine's words. 'Home.' "Mel, I was hoping you could stay in help me unpack and talk." Paige elected to use Sunshine's real name instead of her stage name in the hopes that she would know Paige was serious about not wanting to go out.
"We have all kinds of time to unpack and talk, the guys are waiting. Let's go."
"No, I'm not going out, you have fun and be safe."
"Whatever." Sunshine said as she hastily left the apartment.
Paige signed on again, hoping to see Holden. She was happy to see the little green dot indicating that he was online. She messaged him but didn't get a reply. She sunk deep into the couch, feeling sorry for herself and more than just a little lonely, so she turned on the TV. The only thing on was 'Glee.' She had never watched the show before, but she quickly got into the program. It was the Rocky Horror episode; Rocky Horror Picture Show was one of her and Holden's favourite movies. They had gone to a special screening of the cult classic on Halloween. She was amazed at how well the performers on the show sang and danced. In the middle of 'Time Warp' Holden responded to Paige's earlier message.
"Sorry, I just ran out to grab a bite to eat, how are you?"
"Holden, I don't want to be alone, can we go on camera?"
"Of course."
He initiated the video call. The two talked for hours, and despite the distance between them, the internet made them feel so much closer, less alone. The conversation started off a bit slow as they were both trying to hide the real emotions that they were feeling, but towards the end of the discussion they were both feeling better, even joking around together.
Paige finally told Holden she had to go, it was getting late in Toronto time. Holden reluctantly said his goodbyes and told her he was going to be up for a few more hours. Paige's window went black; Holden closed his laptop and began to watch some TV. A couple of hours later Holden heard the familiar beep of a new message. Opening his laptop, he was surprised to see a new note from Paige.
"Why are you still up?" Holden asked.
"Sunshine came home drunk and woke me up. Mind if we video chat again?" Holden could tell in her voice that she was upset so he agreed to the video session. Once the video feed was connected, he could see that she was lying in bed.
"I really miss you Holden. Could we leave the camera on all night while we sleep so I can feel like you're here next to me?" He thought the strange request was very sweet and he was only too happy to oblige.
He watched as she fumbled with her laptop to position it so he could see her head as she slept. Once she was tucked tightly into bed, she said good night and blew him a kiss. He blew her one in return and decided it was time for him to go to bed as well. Keeping his promise to Paige, he carried his laptop to his bedroom and positioned it so he could see her, and more importantly, so she could see him.
Happy with the set up, he turned out the light and then realized his camera was useless in the dark. He rigged a tiny light that wouldn't keep him awake, but allowed Paige to see him. He took one last look at Paige sleeping peacefully in her bed, and thought that not so long ago he had been able to watch her sleep in the bed next to him. Soon he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
During the night, he rolled over and opened his eyes to look at the computer screen. He was surprised to see Paige barely awake and looking back at him. She softly mouthed the word "hi," and Holden did the same. He then smiled at her and went back to sleep. He found it reassuring that she was so close, even though she had moved so far away.
When he woke up in the morning he saw that Paige had moved the laptop to the living room, but she was nowhere to be seen. He assumed, because of the time difference, that she was already up and had started her day, and figured that it was time for him to do the same. Leaving the computer where it was on his nightstand, he left the camera on as he went about his usual morning routine. After his shave and shower, he got dressed in a shirt and tie. He elected to wear Paige's favourite tie. He wanted to be reminded of her all day at work. After all, he was starting to feel better about the situation, and felt that if she was missing him this much, it would only be a matter of time before she'd be back. After getting dressed, he was sure to move the laptop to the living room.
At work Holden told Mike all about Paige's request. Mike had been Holden's friend since college. The two of them were in the same program, and it was Mike that got Holden the job with the Vancouver Witch Doctors. Mike interpreted the situation very differently than Holden.
"Just being devil's advocate, is it smart to be bending to her every request? You are making it way too easy for her. Tell her how badly she hurt you and that she can't be playing games like this with you. Tell her how hurt you are and how upset she is making you. Tell her to shit or get off the pot, she can't have it both ways."
"I know man, it's just that she needs a bit of time, I'm sure things will work out. You didn't see her last night, I know she's regretting her decision to move back," Holden said trying to defend Paige. "I'm just worried that if I push too hard, she'll be gone for good. She can be very stubborn."
"Holden, her seeing you and your apartment is just making it easier for her to be further away, you'll see. In time, the videos and the conversations will become less and less frequent, until she has complete closure, and you'll just be a footnote in her life's story."
"Possibly Mike, I get what you're saying. I really do. It's just that, I can't let her go. Not without a fight."
"A fight? What kind of fight are you putting up? If you wanted to fight for her, you shouldn't have let her go, or you should go to Toronto tonight and get her, and bring her back."
Holden laughed, "She isn't my property, I didn't let her do anything. She made her choice. We talked about it, but ultimately it was her decision. One I will support. But it's not over. I didn't roll over and let her walk out on me. She knows how I feel about her and this situation. Have you ever heard the expression, 'if you love something set it free, if it doesn't return, it wasn't yours in the first place?"
"Holden, girls want to be shown how much you love them. She wanted, wants, a grand gesture for you to prove your love for her."
"I thought it was pretty clear. I committed to her. We moved to B.C. together so we could start a new life together."
"That's exactly it, you dopey bastard. She moved here for YOU. She quit her job, gave up her life, her family and her friends to be here for YOU. What did you give up for her? Now she's going to go home, find a bunch of guys that will show her some attention and appreciate her, and she'll fuck the shit out of them."
Holden sank back into his chair. "Oh my god Mike, you're right. Not about her fucking the other guys, but about me not appreciating her. Do you think that's what it is?"
"I don't know man, could be. Could be that she's batshit crazy or has another love back in Toronto. How would I know? I just know that you can't sit at home, looking at her camera, waiting for her to come home. You have to move on with your life. Get out and date. Tamara's friend has been asking about you and almost stroked out when Tamara told her Paige left you."
"First of all, Paige didn't leave me ..."
"Kinda." Mike interrupted.
"First of all ..." Holden repeated trying to ignore Mike's comments, "Paige didn't leave me. She just went home to do some thinking. I am still committed to making this work. I am not about to betray her trust, and go out with other girls the second her back is turned. Fuck man, her side of the bed isn't even cold yet."
"Get real man, she's gone. Anyway, go out for drinks with Carly. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Paige could find out and leave me."
"Man, do you think that she is going to put her life on hold, not go out, not have guys hit on her? I'm not asking you to marry the girl, just go out for drinks. Get your mind off Paige for a night. You might even enjoy it."
"I don't know man, I think it's way too early to even think about it, but thanks for the offer."
"Whatever man, offer is there, check her out through Tamara's Facebook and tell me what you think. I've gotta get back to work, later." Mike stood up and left Holden alone in his office to think about the conversation. Mike is right, she is moving on. I have to as well. NO! I can't let her go this easily. But I can't just sit like a hermit in my apartment, in our apartment. FUCK.
Coming to no solid conclusions, Holden went back to work.
Lost in thought for most of the day, Holden eventually realized it was time to go home. He tried to think about what he had accomplished during the day, but couldn't think of anything. His mind was on autopilot as his primary focus was on his personal life.
Walking through the door of his condo, his first thought was to check out the laptop to see what his beloved was doing. He brought the blank screen to life, expecting to see Paige's still empty apartment. He was surprised to see her doing her yoga routine. He didn't immediately make his presence known so that he could watch her do some of her stretching.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Synce ..."
by .
Copyright © 2018 R.L. Canning.
Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
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