• Teaches how to retain semen for increased vitality and longer lovemaking
• Explains the relationship-strengthening benefits of deep, sustained penetration
• Includes foreplay approaches and position sequences
Fulfilling sex nourishes love, increases vitality, and boosts mental health. Unfortunately, prevailing attitudes about male sexuality and what is good sex work against these innate features by focusing on the excitement of ejaculation as the one and only goal.
Using the tantric guidelines they have practiced for more than 25 years, Diana and Michael Richardson show men how to move beyond their preconceptions of sex as a goal-orientedand often unintentionally stressfulevent so they can relax into sex as a meditative union of complementary energies. They explain how retaining semen allows for increased vitality and extended lovemaking sessions and show the relationship-strengthening benefits of deep, sustained penetration. They also explain how to perform soft penetration and how to avoid premature ejaculation.
Tantric Sex for Men includes tried-and-true foreplay approaches, diagrams of sexual position sequences, ways to increase sexual sensitivity through awareness, and how to have ecstatic experiences through reaching a woman’s body on a sexually deeper level. The authors also demonstrate how the sexual organs can be used to heal both men and women physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
|Inner Traditions/Bear & Company
|5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.50(d)
About the Author
Michael Richardson is a teacher of t’ai chi, practitioner of shiatsu, and teacher of the Gurdjieff Sacred Dances. He is a disciple of tantric master Osho and, along with his partner, has been teaching the art of Tantra in weeklong “Making Love Retreats for Couples” since 1993. He lives in Switzerland.
Read an Excerpt
AWARENESS, MOVEMENT, PENETRATION, AND ERECTION
In meditation, if two meditators share their energies, love is a constant phenomenon. It does not change. It takes on the quality of eternity. It becomes divine. The meeting of love and meditation is the greatest experience in life, and only then does duality between man and woman disappear.
Osho, transcribed teachings, The Rebellious Spirit
The Art of Conscious Penetration
When erection is present it is recommended that the very first penetration be exceptionally conscious. The penis should enter the vagina millimeter by millimeter. A number of positions are possible, the most direct and easy being the missionary position, with woman lying on her back and man kneeling between her legs. The head of the penis can enter the vagina and gradually open it along its entire length, gently probing slowly but surely up the canal. It’s best to rest from time to time and take in the view, which means feeling in and down into your body and especially into the penis. A single penetration can easily be extended to many minutes. Or a whole lovemaking of several hours can be one divine penetration. These experiences can change your life and your whole view of sex.
The problem with penetration that is fast or aggressive, and lacking in awareness, is that the woman (unconsciously or consciously) closes her vagina to protect herself from possible intense pain. The upper vagina is tightened to prevent the penis from thrusting into the very delicate and sensitive cervixthe entrance to the womb. When a woman is hit here it really hurts. Such naturally defensive contractions, both physical and psychological, definitely influence a woman’s receptivity and her capacity to absorb, which means she is no longer feminine in relation to the man. With much slower, conscious penetration, a woman has the chance to invite, welcome, and caress each millimeter of the penetrating penis.
There is a distinction between being careful and being conscious. One is not being “careful” in relation to a woman; carefulness implies a certain tension, a holding back, a fear of hurting the other, which is more an attitude lacking in self-awareness. With carefulness, one’s attention is externally focused on the other, and not on oneself. When one is conscious one is self-aware and automatically acts with care as a by-product of that awareness, not as an intention. When a man is conscious he becomes more confident too.
Awareness, Slowness, and Sensitivity
The greatest advantage of awareness, of being conscious during penetration, is that you can feel “into” the penis on a cellular level. Finally you have the time, there is nowhere you have to go (toward ejaculation). Listening to the penis and becoming aware of all its movements greatly increases its sensitivity and allows the perception of inner, fine, cellular, delicate, delightful sensations that expand through the body. An unhurried, aimless, no goals approach is vital to making this possible.
Ecstatic, thrilling, touching experiences occur through a correspondence of opposites. In fitting snugly together with sustained contact, penis and vagina respond to each other according to an innate intelligence. The penis is a powerful instrument that is able to generate divine states of ecstasy when it arrives in its truly complementary environment.
ERECTION AND IMPOTENCE
Erection Responsibility Is Shared
Until now, whether he likes it or not, erection has been considered a man’s job, which has formed a big part of his performance pressure. Conventionally, erection depends on stimulation and excitement. And many anxieties or fears exist about erection that can cause a disturbance in the psyche.
As a partnership continues, a man can easily experience a lack of erection because of a lack of excitement. The woman is known, the situation is known, the routine is known; so there is nothing to get really excited about. However, with a new vision of sex we realize that excitement is not necessarily a basic ingredient of the sexual experience.
Erection is, in reality, possible without stimulation and excitement when a man begins to trust his penis. A true erection is an electromagnetic response to the equal and opposite force exerted by the vagina. From a soft state, the penis can slowly rise as a direct response to the vagina surrounding it. The female force plays an equal rolethrough eceptivity it starts to “draw” and effectively pulls the penis into an erection, millimeter by millimeter. The penis unfolds as a slow snake winding upward in circular spirals.
A spontaneous erection is one that arises out of the moment, due to polarity and the “presence” two people bring into the situation. Erections such as these do not need stimulation to keep them going. They simply need presence and awareness. The second one person’s attention wavers, the penis starts to wind down, uncoiling like a snake. Quickly retrieving one’s presence and discarding distracting thoughts, the erection will grow again. The penis is capable of performing a snake dance within a womana miraculous experience for any man.
Spontaneous erection is not something that can be expected or demanded of the body. It is a by-product of a special constellation of factors, among which are awareness, presence, relaxation, and love.
Lack of Sensitivity
The first few times soft penetration is tried most men will find that they do not feel much in their penises. This is very common and will change as soon as the penis adjusts to a new way of being used and perceived by the man. The insensitivity is due to a long history of stimulation, so to be a little numb is not surprising. The way to retrieve sensitivity is to relax into the woman, spend as much time inside her as possible, and take full consciousness down into the penis. Begin to “be” inside the penis, treat it with love, and gradually sensitivity will return. Women are usually very content with soft penetration and the experience of subtle ecstatic emanations from the penis.
Table of Contents
Preface Michael Richardson ix
1 Male Burden of Performance 7
2 Involuntary Ejaculation and Desensitization 15
3 Ejaculation is Not Male Orgasm 25
4 The Equal and Opposite Force of the Female Environment 41
5 The Penis-A Potent Electromagnetic Instrument 53
6 Awareness, Movement, Penetration, and Erection 63
7 Dates, Foreplay, Kissing, and Positions 85
8 Sexual Healing and Male Authority 99
9 Mastering Love and Overcoming Emotions 119
10 Personal Experiences 139
Appendix Exercises for Improving Your Awareness and Sensitivity 155
Recommended Books and Resources 162
About the Authors 165
What People are Saying About This
“Diana and Michael Richardson’s Tantric Sex for Men is a New Age sexual ‘how-to’ for men. Based largely on their many years of experience leading retreat seminars for couples, together with their commitment to Osho’s teachings on neo-tantra and sexuality, their latest book is a refreshingly honest and timely presentation. This book will be especially helpful to men who wish to better understand the processes by which sex can be elevated to a higher love activity. It shows men the way to a more caring, considerate, and fulfilling approach to lovemaking.”