The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex

by Eric FitzMedrud

Overview

Relationship therapist Eric FitzMedrud uses his expertise with sexual issues to teach men how to hone their consent skills for stronger relationships and hotter sex.

​If you’re a man who’s confused about consent, you aren’t alone. In the post #MeToo era, men know they need to get consent but don’t know how to ask for it. They may be afraid of doing the wrong thing, or worried about giving up hot sex. In this practical guide to navigating sexual relationships with respect, sex positive psychologist Eric FitzMedrud teaches men the skills to be better lovers, partners, and humans. The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex empowers men to embrace their sexuality, manage their emotions, and understand entitlement—and it explains how toxic masculinity harms men and ruins sex for them and their partners. Moreover, this skills-based guide, rooted in evidence-based techniques, shows men how to practice consent, not just on first dates but in all relationship situations and with all types of people, from romantic partners to acquaintances and coworkers.

Using everyday examples, The Better Man provides accurate, sex-positive information—along with confidence-boosting exercises and shame-busting drills—to help men learn how to ask for the passionate sex they want and listen well enough to deliver the pleasure a partner desires.

This book shows men how to:

Learn evidence-based skills and strategies for practicing consent
Understand that getting consent can be sexy
Communicate more effectively in their relationships
Heal their own wounds from patriarchy by taking responsibility for their own behavior
Use principles of safety and health to pursue passionate sex
Understand toxic masculinity while celebrating male sexuality and honoring diverse identities and lifestyles

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781637560358
Publisher:	Wonderwell Press
Publication date:	09/19/2023
Pages:	264
Sales rank:	654,936
Product dimensions:	5.70(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Eric FitzMedrud is a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives by learning to regulate their emotions, removing sexual entitlement, and honing their sexual consent and negotiation skills. FitzMedrud is a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. He has been published in an academic book and academic journal and has spoken at multiple conferences. He has also trained therapists and taught many graduate courses in psychology. FitzMedrud has a PhD in Clinical Psychology from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. He is polyamorous and bisexual, and lives with his wife of twenty-three years and his life partner of six years in San Francisco’s East Bay area, California.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Is It OK to Be a Man?
Chapter 2: What is Consent?
Chapter 3: Can My Sexuality Be Good?
Chapter 4: Can My Desire Be Regulated?
Chapter 5: If Not Sex, What Do I Need?
Chapter 6: How Do I Manage My Emotions?
Chapter 7: How Do I Communicate Effectively?
Chapter 8: How Do I Practice Consent?

Conclusion
Appendix: I’m Flawed Too
Bibliography
Glossary
Endnotes
Acknowledgements
About the Author

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“Finally! A book by a man, for men, about how to be a healthy sexual man! Dr. FitzMedrud offers an accessible, grounded guide to navigating the modern world of sexuality with consent, safety, and honesty. You can learn to do better, without having to hate men for being men.”
—David Ley, Ph.D., author of Ethical Porn for Dicks

"A refreshing vision for men to reimagine their role in relationships, their communities, and the world. Dr. Eric FitzMedrud makes the case that by becoming more aware of our inner self and of society’s presumptions about how we are supposed to act, we can begin to heal from the various traumas we have carried into adulthood and unconsciously inflicted upon others. He encourages men to deeply rethink their approach to their sexuality, and to understand the fundamentals of consent in order to become a greater force for kindness, loving, and nurturing."
―Joe Kort, Ph.D., LMSW, CST-S, author of Erotic Orientation

“This profound, potentially life-changing book takes a deep dive into what it means to be a man in today’s world. With a compassionate tone, Dr. Eric FitzMedrud describes why so many men are struggling with their sexuality, and why partners struggle along with them. He then offers a path forward to sexual and mental health that is informed by contemporary feminist ideals of gender equality and inclusivity. I’d recommend The Better Man to any male client who wants to build stronger self-esteem and deeper relationships.”
―Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D., CST-S, author of What Every Mental Health Professional Needs to Know about Sex

“Eric Fitzmedrud believes men want to be asked important questions. And so, he does. The result is a non-stop feast for men hungry to reconnect with their humanity. This warehouse of practical tools, exercises, activities, sample scripts, and essential words prepares men to take real steps toward knowing who they are and who they are not. Take your time, reflect, take responsibility, be honest, take risks, and most importantly, give yourself consent to be a better man.”
—Doug Braun-Harvey, LMFT, CST-S, coauthor of Treating Out-of-Control Sexual Behavior

“This book really restores my faith in men.”
—Venus O’Hara, sexual wellness content creator and host of The Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast

Editorial Reviews

Finally! A book by a man, for men, about how to be a healthy sexual man! Dr. FitzMedrud offers an accessible, grounded guide to navigating the modern world of sexuality with consent, safety, and honesty. You can learn to do better, without having to hate men for being men.”
—David Ley, Ph.D., author of Ethical Porn for Dicks

"A refreshing vision for men to reimagine their role in relationships, their communities, and the world. Dr. Eric FitzMedrud makes the case that by becoming more aware of our inner self and of society’s presumptions about how we are supposed to act, we can begin to heal from the various traumas we have carried into adulthood and unconsciously inflicted upon others. He encourages men to deeply rethink their approach to their sexuality, and to understand the fundamentals of consent in order to become a greater force for kindness, loving, and nurturing."
―Joe Kort, Ph.D., LMSW, CST-S, author of Erotic Orientation

“This profound, potentially life-changing book takes a deep dive into what it means to be a man in today’s world. With a compassionate tone, Dr. Eric FitzMedrud describes why so many men are struggling with their sexuality, and why partners struggle along with them. He then offers a path forward to sexual and mental health that is informed by contemporary feminist ideals of gender equality and inclusivity. I’d recommend The Better Man to any male client who wants to build stronger self-esteem and deeper relationships.”
―Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D., CST-S, author of What Every Mental Health Professional Needs to Know about Sex


“Eric Fitzmedrud believes men want to be asked important questions. And so, he does. The result is a non-stop feast for men hungry to reconnect with their humanity. This warehouse of practical tools, exercises, activities, sample scripts, and essential words prepares men to take real steps toward knowing who they are and who they are not. Take your time, reflect, take responsibility, be honest, take risks, and most importantly, give yourself consent to be a better man.”
—Doug Braun-Harvey, LMFT, CST-S, coauthor of Treating Out-of-Control Sexual Behavior

“This book really restores my faith in men.”
—Venus O’Hara, sexual wellness content creator and host of The Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast

From the Publisher