The Creaking on the Stairs: Finding Faith in God Through Childhood Abuse

by Mez McConnell

Overview

I think there is real hope to be found, in the middle of our deepest traumas, in the good news about Jesus Christ. I also think that there is a place for us to find hope and community within the church. Because of these two beliefs, I truly think, distant though it may be, that we may even get to a place of peace within our souls and a place of forgiveness for those who hurt us so much.

This is a book that has no easy answers and will offer none. This is a book that tries to get behind the tough questions of why God permits such abuses to occur in this world. Using his own story of childhood abuse, Mez McConnell tells us about a God who is just, sovereign and loving. A good father who knows the pain of rejection and abuse, who hates evil, who can bring hope even in the darkest place.

‘It’s not a pagan rags to Christian riches story. It’s real, raw and radical. I suspect that there will be as many people shocked by the Bible teaching that Mez wrestles with, as there will be those shocked by the abuse he suffered. With chapters like ‘The glorious, wonderful reality of Hell’ and ‘The terrible reality of Heaven’, there is no chance of this book being perceived as comfortable.’ – David Robertson, Christian Today https://christiantoday.com/article/my-favourite-christian-book-of-2019/133774.htm

 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781527104419
Publisher:	Christian Focus Publications
Publication date:	11/08/2019
Series:	Biography
Edition description:	Revised
Pages:	240
Product dimensions:	5.00(w) x 7.80(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Mez McConnell is the pastor for Niddrie Community Church, near Edinburgh. He is also the Director of 20schemes which is dedicated to revitalising and planting gospel churches in Scotland's poorest communities. Previously he was a missionary with street kids in Brazil. He is married and has two children.

Table of Contents

Foreword 15

Author's Note 19

Introduction 20

What Do We Mean by 'Childhood Abuse? 30

The God Who Is Silent 38

I Just Don't Know 42

What's God Got to Do With It? 46

I Wish My Life Were Better 50

It Wasn't Always Like This 52

Rebellion 55

Wild at Heart 57

The Devil Made Me Do it 59

Patient Zero 61

It Wasn't Me 65

Death Reigns 67

Innocents Lost 71

It Won't Always Be Like This 73

Life in the Messy Middle 75

Consider Jesus 78

Jesus Came to Die 84

'Suck it Up. You're on Your Own!' 87

Compassion 89

The Compassion of Jesus 90

Humiliation 95

Jesus and Humiliation 97

Rejection 100

Jesus & Rejection 102

Pain & Suffering 105

Jesus & Suffering 107

Voluntary Suffering 110

Jesus & the Cup of God's Wrath 117

Why? 124

Consequences 127

Judgement 133

Jesus & Justice 137

Righteousness 141

Mercy 145

Hell on Earth? 148

The Glorious, Wonderful Reality of Hell 152

The Terrible Reality of Heaven 155

How Can I Believe These Things After Everything That Happened to Me? 158

Repent 163

A Clean Slate 167

Love 172

Grace 176

The Bittersweet Pill of God's Sovereignty 180

God's Ways are Not Our Ways 188

The Bad, the Ugly, and the Broken 190

Forgiveness 191

Looking Forward With Hope 195

Helpful Resources 198

Worshipping With the Enemy? - Interview With a Child Abuser 199

Interview With the Pastor of a Child Abuser 206

FAQs from Child Abuse Sufferers 209

A Response to this Book from an Abuse Sufferer 221

Next Steps 227

Editorial Reviews

With vivid personal stories, well–stated research, and a storehouse of scripture, Mez takes the grievous and gut–wrenching reality of abuse and holds it up to the light of grace. While I wish this book didn’t have to exist, I’m thankful it does. It’s a powerful and redemptive resource.

Emily Jensen(Co–Founder of Risen Motherhood

… a painfully raw, sweetly pastoral, and deeply theological word to those who have suffered abuse. This is a book that will speak to the hearts of many, and that will also open the hearts of many to understand the ravages of abuse and the healing power of the Saviour. You don’t just read this book; you experience it.

Greg Gilbert(Senior Pastor

For those who have been acquainted with abuse, a new song of freedom and healing will resonate as you hear the message of Jesus’ work on the cross. Mez has carefully crafted a theologically rich, pastorally gentle, Christ–exalting tool. This is much needed in Christ’s global church. Get it, read it, teach it, and heed it.

(Director of the Diversity Initiative

… a deeply personal, gut–wrenchingly candid account of his own struggle with bitter emotions and smouldering resentment. Writing with unvarnished honesty, he describes the conflict between righteous anger and forgiveness—and he points the way to liberty and triumph in the grace of God.

Phillip R. Johnson(Executive Director

I finished it with the sober but thankful realisation that in its pages Mez has given us something incredibly valuable: truth and hope. He has given us truth that can be applied to even the most broken situations, and hope for that day when there will be no more weeping and no more tears. For that reason and many more, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Aileen Challies(Pastor’s Wife)

Reading about the reality of child abuse in the life of someone you know is gut wrenching. Realising the prevalence of abuse in our world is overwhelmingly distressing. Mez’s personal account of his life is a hard read, but as the grace and mercy of God is put on display in his life, it proves also to be a hopeful read. On the bleak and dark canvas of abuse, the gospel can shine. It shines brightly on these pages as Mez wonderfully notes hope for the abused and the abuser, as well as for ministers seeking to shepherd both.

Anthony Mathenia(Pastor

The Creaking On The Stairs is a relentlessly evangelistic book. If you struggle to imagine a good God due to past abuse, Mez wants you to know you are not alone. You are not forgotten. You are deeply loved. He can testify to that firsthand.

Matt Smethurst(Editor

With honesty and grace, Mez McConnell weaves together the scope of his abuse and recovery with the scope of Jesus’ person and work. In short, accessible chapters he outlines the hope of the Gospel available to both survivors and abusers. Highly recommended.

Eric M. Schumacher(Podcaster; songwriter; author

… the hero of the book is not Mez or some nice person or the social gospel: It’s doctrine, including God’s sovereignty and Christ’s atonement. … Those who have hit bottom need not soothing words but the hard Gospel truths of sin and deliverance. 

Marvin Olasky(Editor in Chief

Mez writes with courage and compassion. The courage to tell his painful story. And compassion to point us to the place of healing. Read the book and expect to be shocked with depravity and deliverance.

Erik Raymond(Senior Pastor

The beauty of the book is that Mez tells the story of his own suffering and folds it into the bigger story of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is heartbreaking, empathetic, accessible, and pastorally wise. Moreover, it presents the reader with the sovereign, holy and merciful God of the Bible who alone can bring lasting light and hope into darkness and despair. Anyone can read this. Everyone should.

Gavin Peacock(Former professional footballer and Director of International Outreach

This is the most disturbing book that I have ever read, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

Rosaria Butterfield(Author of ‘The Gospel Comes with a House Key’ and ‘The Secret

Few things are more horrific than for a child to be tortured by someone who was supposed to love them. Scars of abuse go deeper than burn marks or lashes can leave. Somehow abuse scars the soul and tempts the heart to never risk letting people get close. Yet, in The Creaking on the Stairs, Mez bravely invites you into his painful past and gives hope through the grace of Jesus who entered into our pain–riddled world. Whether you are a believer in God or not, whether you have suffered abuse or not, I cannot more highly commend this work to you.

J. Garrett Kell(Pastor

It’s been said that we’re all ‘soaked with the sense of exile’ and long for restored Eden. The hope for the abused and the abuser alike is in Jesus Christ who is indeed making all things new (Rev. 21:5). Born of unimaginable pain, this book will surely be a gospel balm to many.

Chris Larson(President and CEO of Ligonier Ministries

… even if every question is not answered, you will finish this book knowing these things for sure: You are not alone, God loves you intimately, and Jesus will make all things new. The two–fold testimony of Mez’s vulnerability and Christ’s sufficiency will certainly aid in bringing healing to the broken.

Matthew Z. Capps(Senior Pastor

With vivid personal stories, well-stated research, and a storehouse of scripture, Mez takes the grievous and gut-wrenching reality of abuse and holds it up to the light of grace. While I wish this book didn't have to exist, I'm thankful it does. It's a powerful and redemptive resource.

Emily Jensen(Co-Founder of Risen Motherhood

This is the most disturbing book that I have ever read, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

Rosaria Butterfield(Author of 'The Gospel Comes with a House Key' and 'The Secret Thoughts of an

With honesty and grace, Mez McConnell weaves together the scope of his abuse and recovery with the scope of Jesus’ person and work. In short, accessible chapters he outlines the hope of the Gospel available to both survivors and abusers. Highly recommended.

Eric Schumacher(Shepherd

The Creaking On The Stairs is a relentlessly evangelistic book. If you struggle to imagine a good God due to past abuse, Mez wants you to know you are not alone. You are not forgotten. You are deeply loved. He can testify to that firsthand.

Matt Smethurst(Managing Editor

Painfully raw and profoundly helpful, this is a book that speaks into the depths of our darkness and offers extraordinary hope for both the abused and the abusers. If you feel ashamed, hopeless and bitter – or you know someone who does – you must read this.

Michael Reeves(President and Professor of Theology

Never have I experienced a book that is for the abused and abuser; the victimized and the tormentor. And the power of the gospel being the answer for all. Stunningly accessible and beautifully written, this book is sure to be a healing balm to the soul of many abuse survivors and a defining book for a generation.

Brian Croft(Pastor

Mez McConnell is bold and brash, is a powerful preacher and he leads an exciting work among the under–served peoples in the hard places of our cities and communities. He is theologically astute and one would be well advised not to underestimate his wisdom. He is also brutally honest – honest about his own past and honest about his present nightmares. That he has become the man he is today is a tribute to the grace of God at work in him. This book not only tells his story, it gives us clear strategies for identifying abuse when it happens and what steps to take to intervene. All of us will learn from the deep life lessons found here. I am profoundly grateful to know him and for his courage to speak out. To God be the glory.

Liam Goligher(Senior Minister

I finished it with the sober but thankful realisation that in its pages Mez has given us something incredibly valuable: truth and hope. He has given us truth that can be applied to even the most broken situations, and hope for that day when there will be no more weeping and no more tears. For that reason and many more, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Aileen Challies(Pastor’s Wife)

This is the most disturbing book that I have ever read, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

Rosaria Butterfield(Author of ‘The Gospel Comes with a House Key’ and ‘The Secret

It’s been said that we’re all ‘soaked with the sense of exile’ and long for restored Eden. The hope for the abused and the abuser alike is in Jesus Christ who is indeed making all things new (Rev. 21:5). Born of unimaginable pain, this book will surely be a gospel balm to many.

Chris Larson

… even if every question is not answered, you will finish this book knowing these things for sure: You are not alone, God loves you intimately, and Jesus will make all things new. The two–fold testimony of Mez’s vulnerability and Christ’s sufficiency will certainly aid in bringing healing to the broken.

Matthew Z. Capps

Mez writes with courage and compassion. The courage to tell his painful story. And compassion to point us to the place of healing. Read the book and expect to be shocked with depravity and deliverance.

Erik Raymond

The beauty of the book is that Mez tells the story of his own suffering and folds it into the bigger story of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is heartbreaking, empathetic, accessible, and pastorally wise. Moreover, it presents the reader with the sovereign, holy and merciful God of the Bible who alone can bring lasting light and hope into darkness and despair. Anyone can read this. Everyone should.

Gavin Peacock

… a deeply personal,

gut–wrenchingly candid account of his own struggle with bitter emotions and smouldering resentment. Writing with unvarnished honesty, he describes the conflict between righteous anger and forgiveness—and he points the way to liberty and triumph in the grace of God.

Phillip R. Johnson

Painfully raw and profoundly helpful, this is a book that speaks into the depths of our darkness and offers extraordinary hope for both the abused and the abusers. If you feel ashamed, hopeless and bitter – or you know someone who does – you must read this.

Michael Reeves

… a painfully raw, sweetly pastoral, and deeply theological word to those who have suffered abuse. This is a book that will speak to the hearts of many, and that will also open the hearts of many to understand the ravages of abuse and the healing power of the Saviour. You don’t just read this book; you experience it.

Greg Gilbert

Mez McConnell is bold and brash, is a powerful preacher and he leads an exciting work among the under–served peoples in the hard places of our cities and communities. He is theologically astute and one would be well advised not to underestimate his wisdom. He is also brutally honest – honest about his own past and honest about his present nightmares.

That he has become the man he is today is a tribute to the grace of God at work in him. This book not only tells his story, it gives us clear strategies for identifying abuse when it happens and what steps to take to intervene. All of us will learn from the deep life lessons found here. I am profoundly grateful to know him and for his courage to speak out. To God be the glory.

Liam Goligher

With honesty and grace, Mez McConnell weaves together the scope of his abuse and recovery with the scope of Jesus’ person and work. In short, accessible chapters he outlines the hope of the Gospel available to both survivors and abusers. Highly recommended.

Eric Schumacher

Reading about the reality of child abuse in the life of someone you know is gut wrenching. Realising the prevalence of abuse in our world is overwhelmingly distressing. Mez’s personal account of his life is a hard read,

but as the grace and mercy of God is put on display in his life, it proves also to be a hopeful read. On the bleak and dark canvas of abuse, the gospel can shine. It shines brightly on these pages as Mez wonderfully notes hope for the abused and the abuser, as well as for ministers seeking to shepherd both.

Anthony Mathenia

… the hero of the book is not Mez or some nice person or the social gospel: It’s doctrine,

including God’s sovereignty and Christ’s atonement. … Those who have hit bottom need not soothing words but the hard Gospel truths of sin and deliverance. 

Marvin Olasky

Never have I experienced a book that is for the abused and abuser;

the victimized and the tormentor. And the power of the gospel being the answer for all. Stunningly accessible and beautifully written, this book is sure to be a healing balm to the soul of many abuse survivors and a defining book for a generation.

Brian Croft

Few things are more horrific than for a child to be tortured by someone who was supposed to love them. Scars of abuse go deeper than burn marks or lashes can leave. Somehow abuse scars the soul and tempts the heart to never risk letting people get close. Yet, in The Creaking on the Stairs, Mez bravely invites you into his painful past and gives hope through the grace of Jesus who entered into our pain–riddled world. Whether you are a believer in God or not, whether you have suffered abuse or not, I cannot more highly commend this work to you.

J. Garrett Kell

This is the most disturbing book that I have ever read, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

Rosaria Butterfield

The Creaking On The Stairs is a relentlessly evangelistic book. If you struggle to imagine a good God due to past abuse, Mez wants you to know you are not alone.

You are not forgotten. You are deeply loved. He can testify to that firsthand.

Matt Smethurst

With vivid personal stories, well–stated research, and a storehouse of scripture, Mez takes the grievous and gut–wrenching reality of abuse and holds it up to the light of grace. While I wish this book didn’t have to exist, I’m thankful it does. It’s a powerful and redemptive resource.

Emily Jensen

For those who have been acquainted with abuse, a new song of freedom and healing will resonate as you hear the message of Jesus’ work on the cross. Mez has carefully crafted a theologically rich, pastorally gentle,

Christ–exalting tool. This is much needed in Christ’s global church. Get it,

read it, teach it, and heed it.

Doug Logan

I really did not enjoy this book… but I am thankful for it. And I am convinced that it is vital reading for us. Mez points to the power of a loving,

suffering Lord to save and heal even from the most harrowing abuse. Whether you’ve suffered abuse or grew up safe and loved, read it. It is an invaluable resource as we serve the abused and suffering in our midst with the love of Jesus. Simultaneously, gruelling and glorious.

Steve Timmis

This book is heart–wrenching but necessary. It applies the gospel in the worst of contexts and demonstrates its power to save and restore. It is written for those who are hurting and for those who long to minister to them. These pages are void of whitewash, trite answers and cliché, but full of the gospel!

Paul Washer

Raw. Real. Redemptive. The story of Mez McConnell’s childhood abuse,

interestingly, neither centres on himself or his tormentors, but rather on God’s good and sovereign providence, and a suffering Saviour who gave himself for Mez, and all who trust in him. It could have been just crushing, but instead it is filled with hope.

Ligon Duncan

I finished it with the sober but thankful realisation that in its pages Mez has given us something incredibly valuable: truth and hope. He has given us truth that can be applied to even the most broken situations, and hope for that day when there will be no more weeping and no more tears. For that reason and many more, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Aileen Challies

Few things are more horrific than for a child to be tortured by someone who was supposed to love them. Scars of abuse go deeper than burn marks or lashes can leave. Somehow abuse scars the soul and tempts the heart to never risk letting people get close. Yet, inThe Creaking on the Stairs, Mez bravely invites you into his painful past and gives hope through the grace of Jesus who entered into ourpain–riddled world. Whether you are a believer in God or not, whether you have suffered abuse or not, I cannot more highly commend this work to you.

Garrett Kell

… a deeply personal, gut–wrenchingly candid account of his own struggle with bitter emotions and smouldering resentment. Writing with unvarnished honesty, he describes the conflict between righteous anger and forgiveness—and he points the way to liberty and triumph in the grace of God.

Phil Johnson