The Fear of Large and Small Nations

by Nancy Agabian

Overview

In Nancy Agabian's The Fear of Large and Small Nations, feminist writer and teacher Natalee--aka Na--flees the conservative fearmongering of George W. Bush's America to reclaim her cultural roots in post-Soviet Armenia. As she contends with rigid gender roles and rampant homophobia, learning the language when her linguistic roots in the Ottoman Empire have all but disappeared, and centering her identity as a bisexual Armenian American woman amid her own secret desire for love, Na is soon left with more questions than answers about where her fractured self belongs in the world.

When she falls for Seyran, a much younger bisexual punk rocker who seems to value her for who she is, it comes as a relief: in a culture where marriage is seen as a source of protection for women, Na has the satisfaction of subverting societal expectations by shielding Seyran from conscription and, after marrying and moving to New York together, deportation. But when Seyran reveals an abusive side, Na becomes trapped in a dangerous codependent web, complicated by intergenerational trauma, political ideals, and, above all, love. To leave him, she will have to choose herself--whoever that is.

Written in gripping short stories interspersed with intimate journal entries and blog posts, the fragmented narrative reveals what is lost in the tightrope journey between cultures ravaged by violence and colonialism--and what is gained when one woman seizes control of her story, pulsating in its many shades and realities, daring to be witnessed.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9798985969238
Publisher:	Nauset Press
Publication date:	05/09/2023
Pages:	348
Sales rank:	978,833
Product dimensions:	6.14(w) x 9.21(h) x 0.78(d)

About the Author

Nancy Agabian's previous books include Me as her again: True Stories of an Armenian Daughter, a memoir honored as a Lambda Literary Award finalist for LGBT Nonfiction and shortlisted for a William Saroyan International Writing Prize, and Princess Freak, a collection of poetry and performance art texts. In 2021 she was awarded Lambda Literary Foundation's Jeanne Córdova Prize for Lesbian/Queer Nonfiction. The Fear of Large and Small Nations is her first novel.

Editorial Reviews

★ 2023-03-20
A bisexual Armenian American writer in the midst of an identity crisis visits her homeland in this explorative novel.

“I’m about to journey to Armenia, to live for a year among people who I resemble,” writes Natalee, a feminist author based in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Following the fall of the Soviet Union, some of Na’s friends and family had journeyed to “the closest thing we had to a homeland” and returned remarking on the “emotional power” of the experience. In 2006, curious to do the same, Na boards a plane for Yerevan, wondering what the country will think of her. She is met with the troubles experienced by many travelers, such as not being able to figure out the code to call the United States. But she is disheartened to discover that she finds it difficult to assimilate to local life, struggles with the language, and begins to feel forlorn as an outsider. She is also aware that despite a new human rights bill protecting LGBTQ+ people, it is dangerous to be openly gay in Armenia. She discovers that “queer women were invisible.” Wrestling with loneliness, Na meets Seyran, a young, rebellious bisexual leader of a punk band, who shows her around Yerevan. They connect based on the fact that they appear to accept each other’s marginal identities, and Na agrees to marry Seyran so that he can avoid conscription. They return to New York City together, where Seyran’s attitude toward Na rapidly changes and she finds herself caught in an abusive relationship.Written imaginatively as a series of fragmented narratives, journal entries, blog posts, and meta passages, Agabian’s novel describes Na’s journey from shifting perspectives. First-person accounts reveal Na’s intimate inner monologues as she wrestles with the importance of identity: “Part of the reason I’m here is to find what was lost in me. It’s upsetting to see that the West is already here…with its destructive, homogenizing effects of globalization.” Deeply thoughtful segments of meta-writing will stop readers in their tracks by boldly challenging preconceptions of identity and sexuality using penetrating questions: “How do you explain a gay man who loves his wife and has created a life around a family?” The narrative also comes with a provocative twist, as Seyran shifts from being the oppressed to the oppressor: “The assumption was that the immigrant was the one who was weak, dependent on others. The one vulnerable to beating and rape.” In a passage focusing on Na, the author eloquently and believably captures the thought processes of an abuse victim: “I’d already said no a couple of times, and he didn’t listen to me, he never stopped…chipping away at my resolve where he found my female indoctrination, my hesitancy to say no still ingrained at this late date.” Unfortunately, Agabian does not look often enough toward the Armenian landscape to describe it in great detail—but this matters little, as her attention is elsewhere. This is a courageously fragmented approach to storytelling that depicts a valiant search for self-understanding while challenging traditional gender roles, discrimination, and homophobia.

Beautifully textured writing in a compelling tale that ponders identity and belonging.

Kirkus Reviews