Table of Contents
Introduction: How I Learned to Let Go xi
Part I Failure: A Most Valuable Parenting Tool
1 How Failure Became a Dirty Word: A Brief History of American Parenting 3
2 Why Parenting for Dependence Doesn't Work: The Power of Intrinsic Motivation 19
3 Less Really Is More: Parenting for Autonomy and Competence 43
4 Encouragement from the Sidelines: The Real Connection Between Praise and Self-Esteem 61
Part II Learning from Failure: Teaching Kids to Turn Mistakes into Success
5 Household Duties: Laundry as an Opportunity for Competence 75
6 Friends: Accomplices to Failure and the Formation of Identity 95
7 Spores: Losing as an Essential Childhood Experience 119
8 Middle School: Prime Time for Failure 135
9 High School and Beyond: Toward Real Independence 157
Part III Succeeding at School: Learning from Failure is a Team Effort
10 Parent-Teacher Partnerships: How Our Fear of Failure Undermines Education 181
11 Homework: How to Help Without Taking Over 205
12 Grades: The Real Value of a Low Score 223
Conclusion: What I've Learned from Letting Go 241
Acknowledgments 245
Notes 249
Bibliography 253
Index 261