The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

by Natalie Lue

Overview

Are you still playing a role you learned in childhood to please others, such as the Good Girl/Boy, the Overachiever, or the Helper? Though these kinds of roles may have gained us attention and affection, they prohibited us from becoming our true selves.

People-pleasing—putting others ahead of ourselves to avoid something negative or to get something we want or need—runs rampant in our society. Saying yes when we should say no leaves us stuck in frustrating patterns. And when we don’t say yes authentically, we say it resentfully, which leads to more problems than if we'd said no in the first place.

The Joy of Saying No will help you identify your people-pleasing style and habits. A six-step framework then teaches you how to discover the healing and transformative power of no to

• establish healthier boundaries,
• foster more intimate relationships and fulfilling experiences, and
• reconnect with your values and authentic self.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780785290445
Publisher:	Harper Horizon
Publication date:	01/10/2023
Pages:	240
Sales rank:	1,123,093
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Natalie Lue is a writer, speaker, podcaster, artist, and founder of one of the longest running self-help blogs in the world, Baggage Reclaim and The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast. The British-born, Dublin, Ireland-raised author helps people understand how their emotional baggage is interfering with their ability to live their lives happily and authentically. Her advice has been featured in the New York Times, Forbes, NPR, USA Today, and the BBC, among many others. Natalie lives in Caterham, Surrey, on the edge of south London with her husband, two daughters, and cockerpoo.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Find Your Joy, Find Your No v

Part 1 Greetings, People Pleaser

1 Are You a People Pleaser? 3

2 In the Beginning 13

Part 2 The Five Styles of People Pleasing

3 Gooding 33

4 Efforting 47

5 Avoiding 61

6 Saving 75

7 Suffering 89

Part 3 The Six Steps for Finding the Joy in No

8 Get to Know Your Pleaser 107

9 Recognize Your Baggage 123

10 Reparent Yourself 137

11 Make It a Desire, or Say No 157

12 Cut Back on Hinting 173

13 Learn from Eruptions and Challenges 189

Conclusion 207

Acknowledgments 213

Notes 219

Index 221

About the Author 227

Editorial Reviews

'With her unrivalled insight into the ways of people pleasing, Natalie Lue nails the reasons why we continually say yes and gives us permission not to. Enjoy the joy of saying NO, relieved of guilt or obligation. Freedom awaits.'

presenter of ITV’s Good Morning Britain Susanna Reid

'Natalie Lue is a leading voice on healthy boundaries. This is a beautiful, compassionate resource. Highly recommend it to you.'

psychologist and author of The Self-Care Revolutio Suzy Reading

'Nat's book is the first place I recommend anyone going if they were to take back control of their life. Through simple tools, straightforward talking and compelling storytelling, Nat has created a boundaries bible.'

bestselling author of The Multi-Hyphen Method Emma Gannon