★ 12/01/2020
Tichenor debuts with an exceptional book about the power of survival after a significant tragedy: the death of her five-week old son. Tichenor, an Episcopal priest, is honest to the point of being blunt, whether she is dealing with the coroner, the funeral director, or the mourners—and her rich descriptions of the funeral and burial are almost too much to bear. While she has no patience for clichés, simply loathing the platitudes of the saccharine cards people send her, she is appropriately forthcoming with her young daughter about what is happening throughout the entire process. Tichenor's memoir moves around in time and she also writes about an earlier loss, her mother's death by suicide, which provides more depth to her experiences of grief. Details are also given about other significant life markers, such as her decision to become sober and take up running, and her choice to have another child. The most moving sections of the book are toward the end where she writes about church services reflecting on her son's death. VERDICT A stunning introspective memoir recommended for general readers, especially those dealing with grief.—David Azzolina, Univ. of Pennsylvania Libs., Philadelphia
2020-10-07
A wrenching tragedy haunts a mother's life.
In her first position as a recently ordained priest, Tichenor was living in an Episcopal camp on the shores of Lake Tahoe with her husband, their 2-year-old daughter, and newborn son. One evening, she grew alarmed that her infant was in severe distress and rushed to see an emergency care physician. Assured that the baby was healthy, she returned home; hours later, her son died. In a memoir steeped in raw, often heartbreaking emotion, Tichenor recalls the horrifying event and its aftermath as she tries to draw upon faith and community for understanding and solace. From the first, she was astonished by people’s remarks and maudlin sympathy cards that reiterated “the trite explanation that ‘God needed another angel.’ ” Some parishioners, she noticed, “seemed to weirdly want me to take care of them, or who wanted to make it all seem all right, palatable, survivable, understandable, done.” She was exhausted, she writes, by the effort “to avoid the next sympathy attack.” Compounding her grief over her son’s death was the recent suicide of her mother, an alcoholic whose drinking, neglect, and erratic behavior had blighted Tichenor’s childhood. Her mother’s alcoholism, she writes, “was my inheritance, this the dark water I’d been swimming in for years.” Trying to survive those dark waters, Tichenor took up running, sought therapy, and leaned on the strength of a few stalwart friends; for a while, she sought the oblivion of alcohol. “I was angry at all I had been dealt,” she admits. “And I felt so very alone. Drinking didn’t make that go away. But with a drink in my hand, I didn’t have to feel as much.” Now, determinedly sober and a church rector, Tichenor acknowledges the persistence of grief over a death that “gutted me, sank me, its images flashing before my eyes, as I continuously relived it.”
A powerful, forthright chronicle of surviving profound loss.
Nominee for the Northern California Book Award (NCBA) in Creative Nonfiction
"The Night Lake is a memoir written as it was lived—in measured, small steps forward . . . A purposeful and artistic offering of what it means to live in the wake of death . . . The generosity of Tichenor’s writing and her faith remind us that her story is our story, too." —Kaethe Schwehn, Christian Century
"The memoir is a courageous and thoughtful companion to all those who have suffered a traumatic loss. Her telling exposes both the deep sadness and trauma of deep loss but also reveals the overwhelming rage that often is buried and denied under grief. In doing so, she gives those who have suffered a traumatic loss permission to rant and raise their fist to God in both anger as well as hope. —Bonnie McDougall Olson, The Intima
"In stunning, raw prose, Tichenor invites readers into a heartrending but ultimately hopeful story of grief, life and renewal." —Cameron Dezen Hammon, America
"A book as resolute and grounded in the truth of experience as The Night Lake will endure as a beacon for anguish . . . In refusing to be placated or comforted by strained banalities, Liz Tichenor is reaching for a deeper mode of existence and co-existence in which the possibility of real compassion is opened by such brave and unguarded storytelling." — Vanessa Able, The Dewdrop
"This debut memoir from an Episcopal priest offers a surprising take on grief, faith and loss . . . The Night Lake is an excellent example of making something beautiful out of unimaginable pain." —Bookpage
"Heart-wrenching yet gorgeous . . . Tichenor’s honest and plush writing lets readers sink into her settings and emotions, whether in grief, hope, or wonder. Perfect for fans of Anne Lamott and any reader interested in the intersection of grief and faith." ––Kathy Sexton, Booklist (starred review)
"A powerful, forthright chronicle of surviving profound loss." —Kirkus Reviews
"Tichenor's courageous memoir is an exquisitely crafted, painfully beautiful chronicle of loss . . . Navigating as a bereft wife and mother, a pastor, a friend and a daughter orphaned because of her mother's helplessness, Tichenor discovers that pain, joy and sadness can prove enlightening, buoying her with hope and eloquent moments of grace. A devastatingly beautiful memoir by a young mother and newly ordained Episcopal priest who is forced to reconcile the loss of her newborn son." —Kathleen Gerard, Shelf Awareness
"Written with extraordinary insight and grace, The Night Lake is a stunning and powerful reminder that tragedy can't be overcome by avoidance; that surrendering to heartache loosens its grip; that true acceptance abides even the deepest pain." —Margaret Wilkerson Sexton, author of The Revisioners
"When Tichenor suffers two tragic and primary losses in her late twenties, she collapses into grief, even as her calling as an Episcopal priest presses her to support others in theirs. With grace, humility, and even humor, she grounds the unfathomable in rituals ornate and ordinary. The result is a raw meditation on fear and courage, loss and love." — Cynthia Li, MD, author of Brave New Medicine
"From an unspeakable loss, Liz Tichenor speaks. With a courage both heartrending and fierce, she traces a terrain of aching grace. The Night Lake is an astonishingly generous gift." —Jan Richardson, author of Sparrow: A Book of Life and Death and Life
"The Night Lake author Liz Tichenor uses spare, honest, muscular prose to tell a rending story of loss . . . In the face of planetary and individual death and grief, I learn again from The Night Lake that there are companions for us in this world, and that the worl3d is suffused with overflowing love. Run––for she is a runner––with Tichenor––through the story of loss and love that is The Night Lake––it is a story for our time, for all of us."—Marc Andrus, Episcopal Bishop of the Diocese of California
