The People Pleaser's Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself

The People Pleaser's Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself

by Dr. Mike Bechtle
The People Pleaser's Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself

The People Pleaser's Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself

by Dr. Mike Bechtle


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We all want other people to like us and think well of us. But when we depend on the praise, admiration, or appreciation of others for our sense of self-worth, we become trapped in an exhausting and debilitating cycle of people-pleasing relationships where we always give and rarely receive. The most common advice we hear—Start putting your own needs first!— doesn't work, because we do love helping other people!

Thankfully, the solution to the people pleaser's "problem" isn't to fundamentally change who you are—it's to fundamentally change where you find your worth. In this freeing book, Dr. Mike Bechtle shows you stop letting your fears of rejection, criticism, invisibility, or inadequacy drive your actions and start rebuilding your sense of self-worth from the inside out. When you do, you'll discover that what you once thought of as a struggle is actually a strength.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780800737870
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 01/19/2021
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 479,523
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

★ 09/01/2022

Thompson's sixth "Counterfeit Lady" mystery (following City of Shadows) is an entertaining, delightful caper novel with twist after twist. Elizabeth Miles Bates has tried to give up her life as a con artist, but sometimes she has to help someone. She and her lawyer husband, Gideon, are invited to the Belmont Stakes by one of his clients, Sebastian Nolan. There they meet his daughter, Irene, who has been worried about their horse, Trench. Trench stops dead in the middle of his race, leaving his jockey, Cal Regan, with a career-ending injury. Trench had been tampered with, and both Irene and Sebastian suspect her father's longtime enemy. When Elizabeth realizes that Irene loves Cal, and is pregnant, she knows her father will never allow his daughter to marry a jockey with no prospects. So Elizabeth hatches a scheme to avenge the sabotage while getting money for Irene and Cal. She enlists her father's help in finding a suitable woman to run a marriage scam, a woman who already has plans to dupe the greedy men of New York society. VERDICT Captivating characters, such as Elizabeth and her mother-in-law, sparkle in this refreshing and amusing con narrative.—Lesa Holstine

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Quest for Freedom 11

Part 1 Building a Vision 17

1 How Did We Get This Way? 21

2 What Kind of People Pleaser Am I? 28

3 How to Spot a Counterfeit 39

Part 2 Fear Factors 47

4 I Need You to Like Me: Fear of Rejection 51

5 I Need You to Not Be Angry with Me: Fear of Conflict 59

6 I Need You to Notice Me: Fear of Invisibility 69

7 I Need You to Affirm Me: Fear of Inadequacy 76

8 I Need You to Need Me: Fear of Irrelevance 85

Part 3 Building Blocks for World-Glass People Pleasing 93

9 Building Block #1-Being Proactive: Take Personal Responsibility 97

10 Building Block #2-Staying Connected: Access the Value of Relationships 105

11 Building Block #3-Building Confidence: See Yourself Accurately 114

12 Building Block #4-Crafting Integrity: Live an Honest Life 123

13 Building Block #5-Strengthening Communication: Master the Tools of Connection 131

14 Building Block #6-Fostering Curiosity: Maintain a Thirst for Wonder 140

15 Building Block #7-Sharpening Focus: Pay Attention without Distraction 149

16 Building Block #8-Practicing Self-Care: Invest in Yourself 156

17 Building Block #9-Developing Gratefulness: Search for the Positive 164

18 Building Block #10-Keeping Perspective: Accept Reality 172

Part 4 How to Change 179

19 The Secret to Changing Everything 181

20 The Faith Chapter 188

21 A Long-Term Strategy for Success 195

The Final Word 201

Acknowledgments 203

Notes 205

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