The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

by Sherrie Shamoon, Ellen Fein

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The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Sherrie Shamoon, Ellen Fein

You are a creature unlike any other (Rule #1)--that's why you need . . . The Rules. A simple set of dos and don'ts, The Rules will lead you to where you want to be: in a healthy, committed relationship. Unlike today's haphazard dating customs, The Rules recognizes certain facts of life. That men know what they want. That a man is either attracted to you--or not! That men want a challenge, not an instant or easy victory. When you follow these commonsense guidelines, you treat yourself with respect and dignity--and demand that men do likewise. Although they sound old-fashioned ("Don't see him more than once or twice a week"), they encourage you to lead a full, satisfying, busy life--outside of romance. Although they seem tough ("Don't talk to a man first"), they will teach you how to accept occasional defeat and move on. And although they require discipline ("No more than casual kissing on the first date"), they will bring out the best in you and in the men you date. The goal? Marriage, in the shortest time possible, to a man you love, who loves you even more than you love him.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780446518130
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication date: 02/14/1995
Edition description: New Edition
Pages: 192
Sales rank: 295,817
Product dimensions: 5.60(w) x 8.60(h) x 0.70(d)

Table of Contents

Chapter IThe History of The Rules1
Chapter IIWhat Are The Rules?5
Chapter IIIMeet a Rules Girl11
Chapter IVBut First the Product--You!15
Rule 1Be a "Creature Unlike Any Other"22
Rule 2Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)26
Rule 3Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much33
Rule 4Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date36
Rule 5Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls40
Rule 6Always End Phone Calls First45
Rule 7Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday51
Rule 8Fill Up Your Time before the Date57
Rule 9How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 360
Rule 10How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time64
Rule 11Always End the Date First68
Rule 12Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day70
Rule 13Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week74
Rule 14No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date78
Rule 15Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy80
Rule 16Don't Tell Him What to Do85
Rule 17Let Him Take the Lead88
Rule 18Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him90
Rule 19Don't Open Up Too Fast94
Rule 20Be Honest but Mysterious99
Rule 21Accentuate the Positive and Other Rules for Personal Ads102
Rule 22Don't Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)108
Rule 23Don't Date a Married Man112
Rule 24Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with Children115
Rule 25Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)118
Rule 26Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules125
Rule 27Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts130
Rule 28Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School134
Rule 29Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College138
Rule 30Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection141
Rule 31Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist144
Rule 32Don't Break The Rules147
Rule 33Do The Rules and You'll Live Happily Ever After!155
Rule 34Love Only Those Who Love You160
Rule 35Be Easy to Live With163
Last But: Not Least--12 Extra Hints169
The Rules-at-a-Glance172

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The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 27 reviews.
Rah_Ethereal More than 1 year ago
I did not "Highly Recommend" this book for reasons one might think. Living in the information age, it is important to be duly informed in the social & behavioral sciences. This book is designed for, and intended to turn women into materialistic, insecure, and manipulative beasts. The only men who will like women like the ones who use "The Rules" are the one's that Barbara De'Angeles describes in "The Real Rules," as being the kind of guys any emotionally healthy, self-actualized, powerful woman would NOT want to date in the first place. So, do read this book, but also read "The Real Rules" by Barbara De' Angelis. On a final note...would anyone walk up to a stranger and ask them to marry them? When you follow "The Rules" it is the equivalent of two strangers getting married, and this is one reason why the divorce rate is so high. As a man who is very enlightened, self-actualized, deeply spiritual, self-empowered, and emotionally healthy I do not desire women who are mysterious and manipulative. I desire women who are self-actualized, confident in their sexuality, monogamous, highly intelligent, and aggressive...without being abusive. When I get a hint that a woman is using this ridiculous junk on me, I bail quick after I look down the road, and see divorce coming before I even start learning about her. This book only works on men who are weak and stupid. When a man gains a decent degree of control over his sex drive, this book, and any one like it, becomes obsolete. A word of advice to all of my fellow men: the less you know about a woman, the faster you need to run from matter how fine she looks. Just think, there are women out there who are just as fine, but are also emotionally healthy and emotionally honest. Take the time to learn about a woman's character, intelligence, and spiritual center. Do you want an unintelligent, gutless, and non-spiritual woman raising yours and hers children? How will you know any of this, unless you get to know her on a deep level? How can you get to know her if she's acting mysterious and manipulative? I am not afraid to show the world who I am, so I will not hide my pen name. Peace out.
HollywoodSR More than 1 year ago
I bought this book 10 years ago for several of my friends. ALL of them got married to the man they were dating. I for one didn't follow the rules. I did marry the man i was dating but am now divorced. Men have to feel like they are using their animal instint. Now, 4 years after divorce I am going to buy this book and FOLLOW IT. I remember the book saying "treat men like the ones you don't like". Well, I was dating a few guys and always available and waiting for one of them to call and ask me out. well, as soon as I met a guy i was VERY attracted to I quit sitting around waiting and those other guys are now calling and texting constantly. So YES it is very hard to not just be available when the man you like calls- SO STAY BUSY and keep dating until he is BEGGING you to stop. If he doesn't beg you - he's not the one! Also, girls- DON'T SLEEP WITH THEM RIGHT AWAY!!!! I see so many girls do this and all the guy does is try to get more off of you adn then tell his friends and then they try and hit on you! ESPECIALY, if you like the badf boy types- like me! DON't do it! Every bad boy wants a prim and proper lady, sexy with class and style and yes a tiger in the bedroom, but Wait TO DO THIS!!! Another good book is Men are from Mars and Women from Venus! Men really do not think like we think and we start spilling our guts and get emotional they RUN!!!!! FAST!!!!!! Play the rules and it is not a game persay- it is being confident in yourself and only doing what a man really is attracted to by his animal instinct! Good Luck- we all deserve to be happy!
Guest More than 1 year ago
A Rules Girl is a woman who has her own life, doesn't nag or whine for three hours on the phone. Nor does she dump all of her problems on her poor date, five minutes after meeting him. She dresses like a lady and is emotionally healthy, happy and fun. She doesn't sleep around, isn't a clingy leech and if you don't want to marry her, she moves on instead of standing outside of your house in the rain begging you to take her back. And the problem with this is...? Heaven forbid a book that teaches women and young girls NOT to sleep with men on a first date! Ladies, please read this book and try to see the real message behind the Rules. Good luck! :)
Guest More than 1 year ago
I have just bought and read 'The Rules'. Whoever says that they're manipulative, either don't understand how much women can obsess over men, or the fact that for some odd reason, distance does make mens' hearts grow fonder. I have had two extremely serious relationships that have started out by me using 'The Rules' and not even knowing it! When you start to become obsessive about them, they cease to think about you. It's a fact. 'The Rules' are NOT about becoming something you're not, it's about putting your best foot forward and not settling! What woman does not want to do that?
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jenatay More than 1 year ago
These rules are too rigid. I believe in being honest, open, and authentic. I'm not a game player. I understand the man's need for the hunt, chase or whatever you want to call it. Once in a relationship though, I believe the rules go out the window otherwise your foundation is not solid.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I havent read this book yet but by the rating o this thing and the posts this looks like a good book
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Makstar More than 1 year ago
I was complaining about attracting the incorrect type of men, or the ones who would not stay and would disrespect me. I decided to get educated. Searched the internet and found the rules. I began implementing right away. One reviewer did say that you MUST implement with care and skill and class or else it still wont work. Also, need to STICK to it like the book says. I have a wonderful relationship with a great man now. The type of situation I've been looking for. The authors GUARANTEE it if followed to a T. I love the real life examples.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
You don't invest time in unfulfilling relationships or give people who aren't really interested in you the time of day. This is by far the best book ever and should be applied to all relatinships...especially men...they will remember the girl who didn't chase and call them before they remember the girl who called and stared and reassured them to0 much....BELIEVE IN THE RULES..ITS TO0 TRUE TO BE IGNORED! Girls you are a creature unlike any other..believe that you are enough and the rules are easy to follow! The less you care the more HE will! Indifference is the key! Why do you think all the guys you don't care for keep coming back?!Theres a message in there somewhere...THE RULES WORK!
Guest More than 1 year ago
As a professional life coach who helps women meet and keep the man of their dreams, this is one book that continually sits on the top of my 'must read' list for my clients. I have researched man-woman relationship issues for over 27 years, since I was a professional match-maker. Women need to understand the differences that make us special. This is not only a feel good book, it is full of important advice for women. Ellen and Sherrie have done their homework and you can trust what they tell you. As a side note, you will find that the rules presented in this book are best used as a general guidline. I recommend they be taylored to the relationship which is what I help women with, when they contact me at This does not mean deliberately breaking the rules, just using moderation in some cases. I got the book after it first came out and I attribute my successful second marriage to many of the things I learned therein. I suggest you buy this book so you can use it as a continual reference. Even married women can benefit from it.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is the key to a succesful relationship. If you do it right, you won't regret reading it. I am happily married to the man of my dreams, and this book helped.