The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality

The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality

The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality

The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality


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Men today are starved for sexual formation. They've been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate—instead of struggle against—the gift of sexual desire.

In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men's lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men's understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness.

But it doesn't need to be this way. God made men to be moved, to live with wonder and awe—and sexual desire must be formed within the context of that design. Sam Jolman, a professional therapist who specializes in men's issues and sexual trauma recovery, shows men the way out of the wilds of sexual struggle. This timely and incisive book will help readers

  • learn about the vital link between sexual desire and their identity as worshipers;
  • regain a wild and vigorous sexuality within the context of God's design;
  • understand how purity culture has needlessly put men in a conflict-ridden relationship with their sexuality;
  • see sexual purity not as the goal but as the preparation for becoming fully alive to beauty, awe, and worship; and
  • discover how to trade shame and confusion for a sexuality that's filled with innocence and wonder.

In the Bible, Jesus' greatest kindness was often offered to those suffering sexual harm and brokenness. He offers this same kindness today. He does not want men to repent of their sexual desire. Rather, through reconnecting sexuality with innocence and awe, God opens the door for men to experience the wild joy of desire, rightly ordered toward worship and God's good purposes for their life.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781400243907
Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Publication date: 06/11/2024
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 224,636
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.38(h) x (d)

About the Author

Sam Jolman is a professional therapist with over twenty years of experience. He specializes in men's issues and sexual trauma recovery. Being a therapist has given him a front row seat to hear thousands of men and women share their stories. His writing flows out of this unique opportunity to help men work through and understand their stories and find freedom from sexual trauma.

He received his master's in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care by Dan Allender through the Allender Center at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.

Sam lives in Colorado with his wife and three young sons—the people that inspire his writing. Together they enjoy exploring the best camping spots in Colorado in their pop-up camper. Sam goes to therapy, loves mountain biking, and can often be found trying to catch his breath on the floor of his local CrossFit gym.

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